14 yr. girl - failing school

I have a 14 yr. old daughter that is being very difficult. She is somewhat rebellious, but I consider some of the things that she is doing normal. However, she has not had a successful school year since she's hit middle school and I don't consider that normal. (because I know she can do the work) She is in the 8th grade now....she is supposed to be in 9th grade, but I held her back in 1st grade. Anyway, if anything requires a little hard work, she is not willing to put forth the effort and that includes everything. I've decided that I need to teach her to be successful so that she will know what it takes to make it in the real world. So, I go to school with her every day and sit in her classes sometimes right beside her. (I know....it sounds horrible, but most of the time, she's cool with it) So, my question is this. How am I supposed to teach her how to be successful in school and in life?  I can MAKE her do her work and I can force her to do her homework, but that's not the point. I need some advice on what will help her develop self-discipline for herself.  

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

One thing to keep in mind as a parent is this: All you can do is your best; you cannot determine the outcome. Applying this maxim to your situation, all you can do is live by reasonable standards and act on them yourself. Your example is the strongest influence you can bring to bear. You cannot make your daughter be successful; only she can do that. Can you help her? Of course. But recognize your limitations. It's not at all clear that accompanying your daughter to class is a good idea. Why? Because you may be communicating to her that she cannot suceed without you. And that is certainly contrary to what you are trying to convey to her. Many children suffer some academic decline once they move from elementary to middle school. One of the reasons for this is that the transition occurs at the time of a major developmental transition: from late childhood to early adolescence. Another reason is that some learning problems come to light only at the stage of middle school, when demands for organization increase and the curriculum demands become more complicated. If your daughter is struggling academically, it would be wise to have her evaluated to see if there are learning problems. Children who are bright in terms of native intelligence can also have learning problems; intelligence does not always correlate with academic success.