15 Month Old Personal Space issues!!

I have a very normally developing 15 month old little girl. She has always been to activities and been exposed to other children so I would consider her to have been well socialised.
She started at a small home day care when she was about 11 months old and at first seemed to really enjoy it. She has some behaviour that is concerning me though. The daycare provider has mentioned many times, and I have seen it myself when we go to an indoor playground or something like that, that some days she just wants her personal space, gets VERY upset when another child goes within about 2 feet of her. She walks around all the time at home and the daycare provider says she spends alot of time just sitting at the side watching the play.
It is worth noting that she has been with the same 4 or 5 kids at the daycare for several months now and also worth mentioning that when she started she was the youngest child there by around 5 months or so.
I am so worried about her not being happy there and really want to help her to be happy to play with other kids.
Thanks

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You are perhaps expecting too much of a child who is only fifteen months old. She is behaving much as one would expect a child of her age to act. Remember that five or six months  age difference in toddlers is a huge developmental difference. So, one way to think of this is that your daughter really is not among her peers - she is really with children who are much older in a developmental sense (even though the chronological difference is not huge).

[allmymarbles]

She is only 15 months old and in an early developmental stage. Maybe she is not as sociable as other children. That is not abnormal. Plenty of adults are like that. Or maybe she is just going through a stage. I don't see that there is anything to worry about.

[JessicaD1978]

Hi thank you for your advice. I feel the same way that it is normal behaviour however the daycare provider is making it out to be a big deal, telling me its disruptive for the other children etc. She is an ECE with plenty of daycare experience but says its "beyond her" what to do with my daughter. Its really concerning me that my daughter is perhaps not getting the 1 to 1 attention maybe she needs at this stage. How can I deal with the daycare on this any ideas? thanks

[tejodouro]

She is only 15 months. At that age she should be at home.  You are expecting too much of her.  She is not 5 or 6 years old. If she is saying some words, walking, kissing you and trying to feed herself, I would not worry.  Does she say mama, dada and a few other words?  Does she look at you when you call her name?  Does she walk?  If yes, maybe you need to go with your "mother's instinct" and maybe she is not happy in this daycare.  If you have to work, can grandma take care of her?  Just some ideas.  Good luck.

[allmymarbles]

Like tejodouro, I am not a fan of daycare. I always worked but what I did was bring someone into my home to care for the babies. I was a very big chunk out of my paycheck, but much better for the children.

[CeCe2156]

I could have written your post.  My daughter is now 25 months and she had the same issues at her "in house" day care.  She would scream when the other kids got in her space.  She started at that day care at 1 year and was fine at first-always cried at drop off though, even on her last day.  The day care providers also voiced concens about it.  As it turns out, I should have trusted my instincts and gotten her out of there.  While she was not abused, she was often "neglected".  If she wouldn't nap they would let her in the crib until the 3 hours of "quiet time" was up.  It's heartbreaking really, all that wasted time.  If she were home with me I would have been engaging her and teaching her, not letting her alone and upset.   If she didn't want to participate in an activity they were doing, she would have to sit alone in another room and watch them through a doorway.  She was there for 9 months.  I'm happy to tell you that she is over the whole 'screaming at other kids in her space ' thing.  Not surprisingly, it ended about a month after she was out of there.  Good luck!