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16 Yr Son Stealing and lying
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16 Yr Son Stealing and lying

My Son stole from me and his sister in the past, he lies allot about everything,  just recently I was contacted by the school where they suspected him of stealing another persons cell phone, at first he denied it, however after being taken to juvenile for a interview he admitted it to me afterwards.  We paid for the cell phone and he received 5 day out of school suspension from school.

friends of our family contacted me several days later and spoke to me about my son being suspected  of taking things from their home , money , camera , watches , at first I said not my son but had this gut instinct that he was involved .  The family friends had to make a police report due the amount of the items taken from the home.  My son denied doing this. I still had this gut feeling he was not telling me the truth.  

He is not a angry kid, or disrespectful, normally pretty good to be around.  He was diagnosed with adhd at age 10 and has been on meds for this since, recently switched to Vyvanse.  

After a family meeting yesterday with my parents and sister and my son, my son admitted to doing this.  He made an attempt to return the money by giving it to a friend to drop off to the house, however the friend took the money.  

So I contacted my sons friends parents and we got allot more out of this whole story,  My son and his friend would visit our family friends home and take things from there house from time to time.  We have recovered about everything.  The police are involved and we are to interview with them tomorrow.  I am an ex-police and I am feeling horribly guilty over this and if I have done my job raising my son correctly.  I have contacted a therapist for an appointment for my Son and I.

I am afraid that this is serious enough that he could be in very big trouble; I think we are rock bottom, I have asked him to tell me about anything else he has done so it will be out in the open now.

What will happen?  What should I do?


We will be meeting with the other family friends today to return the items and I will pay for the things that are not replaced.  
Tags: stealing, son, lying, school, meds, friends, juvenile
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I guess my question is "Why are YOU paying for these stolen items?" This should be totally your son's responsibility. If he's not working, then he should do extra chores to pay back the amount he owes. Every time you bail him out, he's not learning anything. He needs to see how serious this is, including that this is against the law and he could go to jail for this. Does he really understand this?
If he's not working right now, I'd suggest he find a part time job. This will keep him busy and out of trouble and also teach him some responsibility.
Whatever you're doing doesn't seem to be working if he's continuing to steal. You need to sit down with your spouse and discuss what else you can do to get through to him the seriousness of this. If he doesn't learn this soon, he could move on to bigger things and wind up going to jail. I hope not for all your sakes.
I know you're afraid he could get in real big trouble this time, and I know this sounds harsh, but maybe he needs to. Sometimes it really does take hitting rock bottom and taking the punishment for it for them to wake up and realize how serious this is. This may scare him enough to make him think twice next time.

I know as a parent it's hard to watch all this. Don't blame yourself. At a certain age, our children start making up their own minds and sometimes make bad choices. Now he will have to pay for those bad choices. Hopefully, this will be enough of a wake up call for him to stop doing this. I wish you the best with the therapist, the police and the other family involved. I hope everything works out for the best. God bless.
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