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Avatar universal

16 year old son who very angry

I am a mother of 16 year old son..he has not really gone to school since gr 8
He has always been hyper and never really wanting to stay still for very long when
When he was 15 he came home very drunk one night and was demanding that I gave
Him a ride to his dads .I said no..and so he proceeded to block me and push me back
So I said something to my fiancé and my fiancé basically told my son if wanted to bully
Anyone that he should bully him ...( there was another person in the house at the time
Who in retro spect I should of told to leave because I know now that this person
Was aggravating the situation) anyway my son ended pulling a knife out of the draw
And threatening my fiancée with it ...the police were called and my son was put on probation
For a year .....after all this happened he started seeing a councillor and his probation
assured me that she thought he  was a good kid...with a lot of anger ...understandably
Because my son and I both came from a abusive environment...with my ex
Not physically but emotional and financial ...lots of time there was not a lot of food
Or money to buy Xmas presents and when we moved to the country those things became
Worse...it was always my exs needs or wants.before the kids and myself
5 Responses
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189897 tn?1441126518
COMMUNITY LEADER
He has all the signs of being ADHD.   And what he has done is not unusual for someone who never has been treated for ADHD.  Has anyone ever looked into ADHD.  There is a lot that can be done to help him if this is true.  Would you like more information on ADHD?
Helpful - 1
13167 tn?1327194124
Laura you need help.

I'm a little surprised CPS isn't involved,  since he hasn't gone to school since 8th grade,  and there have been stretches of time when he wasn't given food,  and then it sounds like when you moved to the country and he no longer went to school he was out of sight of people who would have helped him.

Why isn't his probation officer doing more?  It seems even the most basic requirement for a juvenile on probation - that he be in school - is being missed here.
Helpful - 1
Avatar universal
When I was younger I had some serious issues I was adopted when I was born and I also found out I had epilepsy when I was in 7th grade. I ended up having many emotional issues and I dealt with it in ways that weren't healthy for example drinking smoking cigarettes, smoking weed, selling weed, doing molly, doing acid, partying all the time. I also got into physical fights with my parents it got so much that it just wasn't right. I have the cops called to my house a few times and I also went away to a inpatient therapy place for a week. I was always going against my parents rules I would sneak out at night and just everything possible. I also became very depressed and took my anger out in any which way I could I was also getting into fights. I also went to talk to a therapist a few times a week. I was so angry that I could never stay with the same therapist. I kept getting angry and didn't want to talk to anybody and I would shove everybody out. It got to a point where my parents couldn't handle me and they ended up sending me away to a therapeutic School for "bad kids". Pretty much kids who had anger issues were depressed smoking weed all the stuff hooligan kids would do. I was very angry at my parents and this was their last resort. I was there for 1 year and 3 months but I ended up getting the help I needed. I learned how to deal with my anger and emotions and learned so much more on how to be able to cope with everyday life. Now, I'm not saying do this because it's hurt me a lot and was scary and it's a hard decision as a parent to send your child away to get help. Especially since your son also hasn't been to school in forever as well. But those places HELP! I know places like those are expensive but sometimes you can get a "grant" for him to go there. Your his parent and you need to do the best you can for him. I know my parents did. I thank them for it everyday.

If you want some more info or suggestions...shoot me a message.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I wrote so much and I forgot to say that it sounds too like he really needs to find his special gift in life whatever his interest is if he likes art or music or Sports try to talk with him and work with him and think outside of the box about things that he might be interested in doing that are positive and will give him a creative Outlet. Alot of children and adults who have ADHD tend to label themselves or let other people label them. I would try not to do this there are a lot of natural remedies you can use for ADHD like exercise, creative Outlets like artwork or anything else.. our souls need to express themselves and their authentic gifts if we do not have a channel for this expression then we are not letting the creative energy flow through us and that will come across and appear to be as ADHD or even anger which so many people think they have but really just don't realize that they are not letting their spiritual gifts flow and they have lots of energy blocked causing a lot of stress and tension and symptoms of ADHD.. sorry I just wanted to throw that in there. When I was younger and heard people talking about ADHD I actually thought that maybe I had it because I felt very unique and didn't feel like I had a special purpose in life but now as an adult I have realized on my own spiritual journey that I'm actually a Reiki healer which I got certified for about 5 years ago and I have a gift for healing others and being able to be empathetic towards others. It would have been a lot helpful if I had spiritual people in my life back then to help me think outside of the box and tap into my own gifts but I had to find Reiki on my own and find who I was on my own now that I'm a parent it is my responsibility to help my own children find their special gifts and help them be aware of these things you can do the same for your child I know you can thanks again for reading :-)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Your son needs support and time to heal from the anger and resentment that he harbored inside of him during these times and from past experiences. Anger has to be released and transformed by The Power of Love Back Into Love it's a transformation of energy right now he is wondering who he is and what his purpose is in the world while he is still trying to figure out how to heal he may not even know how much he needs to heal but I will tell you this when I was a child I lived with an abusive alcoholic grandmother who verbally abused me for many years I had harbored more anger inside of myself than I ever realize because I was a child and could not understand these things but now as an adult I can look back and see that I've been on a journey of healing and now as a mother of two children of my own I am finally healed but not all the way every day one day at a time is always an opportunity to heal ourselves because healing is a slow process but with more love and support we can do it quicker and easier without being afraid my advice to you would be to just be there for your son to say hey look you're a human being you've made mistakes everyone does we don't have to be perfect but what's most important is to know that you have family and that we love you and that things can turn around and we can help you heal just tell him you are sorry for the mistakes that you have made that may have been an extra cause to his resentment building up let him know that you're there for him and that you understand and that he is not alone because when we are alone we become fearful and fear creates more anger. When we forgive when we truly forgive somebody and try to put ourselves in their shoes to understand they see that we truly love them and care and this love is what transforms us back into love and gives us the opportunity to heal. Always work from a place of Love, Never fear and teach your son to always act from a place of love and not fear. Love is the only thing that can serve and the only thing that can help us live out our life journey in your life path everyone has a special true life meaning and when I see people get lost and depressed it makes me see that they have strayed from their spiritual purpose in life or maybe never knew about it at all. we need each other to shine light on these things and help support and teach each other the ways of life so we can be successful in every area. I speak from a place of love and from my soul to you I really care about other people and sometimes what is easy for one person to see is not easy for the next but I just want to help shine light on the situation for you and let you know that it is probably very possible that you need to forgive yourself and forgive your son and teach him to forgive you and himself too why don't you just start from the beginning just give yourselves a clean slate forgive each other and show each other love and support and please make sure that he is either homeschooled or going to school so that he can experience the world for himself and find his footing.. education spiritually and mentally is very important and being confident in yourself and loving yourself is equally important! if there's times that you guys didn't have food or don't have food then there are many food banks and also people that you can reach out to I don't know anyone around me that would just let somebody starve don't be afraid to reach out for help or say prayers to God and the angels for what you really need I am just a very spiritual person I am not any certain religion but I believe in our creator and that we are made out of love and I have faith in all people that they can do great things if they put their minds to it and have the right support system I will say a prayer for you and your family and send good energy and loving vibrations for healing.  I hope you'll have a beautiful day and thanks so much for reading this. Remember that when we're angry we do things that we regret and that anger does not serve us please make sure that you put your children first and are solid support system for them. Having parents that are strong spiritually emotionally and psychologically and physically that offer us love and guidance and encourage us to be our authentic selves is the best gift you can have in life besides having family and friends. Hope I helped even just a little ;) btw im sure there are typos, and incorrect punctuations in my writing but im chasing my two year old around the yard while i try to use text to speech on my phonr lol :)  also make sure you pray for your son daily and have faitj in your prayers. They will manifest into miracles over time:) -Gwen
Helpful - 0
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