18 month old defiant?

[victoria1983]

My 18month old little boy will not do as he's told.
Simple instruction such as come to mummy,pick 'x' up,sit down.
He's not the naughtiest child I've seen and his ears are fine. His speech is slow in comparison to how his 3yr old sisters was at that age but you can see he knows what you're saying.
I just get so frustrated with him,I don't like smacking my children and am unsure if I should be concerned or just over reacting,would really appreciate some advice and feedback if possible?

[specialmom]

Hi, at a year and a half---------  I think I'd look more at his not really understanding what you are saying specifically rather than trying to be bad.  Some kids process things slowly.  If his receptive language is slow, then directins would be hard for him.  As his speech is developing, pay attention to the areas of speech --------  receptive, expressive and articulation.  Even a slight issue can cause things to be harder for him.  I'd try to remain patient.  As he does get closer to two, it is natural to test boundaries and authority and to try to gain independence.  All kids do it and instead of letting it make you mad, just realize it is a right of passage for all kids and parents.  Your job is to gently teach him.  Time outs, to be honest, did not work for me at this young of an age and spanking isn't something I'm fond of as often it is confusing.  Kids then think it is okay to slap out and hit when they are mad but then we don't want them to do that.  So it is a conflicting message.  So, whatever a parent does with that is their own business and for them to decide.  But that was just my thougths on it for my kids.  I did a lot of redirecting when behavior wasn't good.  I think giving choices also helps.  The book "sos for parents" may be of benefit and it is by Lynn Clarke.  Also "love and logic for toddlers" is another great book.  Both talk about how to handle situations of defiance.  

But I'd just try to handle it with as much patience as you can and know that sometimes things might be harder for our child than we know.  My son DID have some processing issues and following instructions was hard for him due to it.  We've worked on it and it is better.  But his speech may be factoring in more than you realize.

good luck   Hard job this parenting stuff, isn't it?  (smile!)

[Leiqhlay]

Your son is almost in his terrible twos! mostly dreaded by mothers all around
his hearing might be fine, and his speech might be slow but this is when
toddlers experiment with behaviors and actions they don't know. smacking your
child isn't a first solution you should try time-outs first. let that be when he's really
acting out and not listening. His speech might need extra attention like sit down lessons
and rewards for doing good.My little brother was very defiant between 16-36months and he's 5 now and recently just started speaking well enough to understand when he started pre-k and he responded really well to a 15day sticker chart and the end of 15days he'd get trips to like chuck e chesse or play areas or new toys. etcc.. or fun trips to the park