19 month old with unusual behavior

[myson]

My son has had a fascination with ears ever since he was just a few months old.  When he is tired and is picked up he grabs onto the ears of the person who is holding him.  When he drinks a bottle, he grabs onto the ears of the person feeding him.  At night, he looks for an ear to feel in order for him to fall asleep.  I have also noticed for a while that when he gets close to you he grabs you really hard, whether it be your leg or face and shoulder and squeezes (it doesn't happen all the time, but maybe about 2-3 times a day).  While he squeezes, he sticks his tongue out slightly and seems to be biting it.  While he is doing that and grabbing you, he seems to shake for a second or two and let's go.  I have also noticed that while I am in the kitchen washing dishes or am just standing, he sometimes grabs onto my legs and seems to be mushing his face into my legs while pinching me.  Then he will back away and do it again, burying his face in my legs while grabbing on for dear life.  The new one now is that he will be watching television or playing and then suddenly wants to put what he has down and scratch the sides of his head with both hands, even if his head doesn't itch.  I have 3 nieces and 1 nephew and do not recall seeing behavior even remotely close to this.  He says words like mama, dada, mamma, papa, cookies, shoes, stop, go, baby, wiggles, dora and me.  He remembers where things are and plays normally with his cousin who is one month younger than he is.  When he does get upset however, he throws himself on the floor and stars to cry.  His next doctor's appointment is in a few months when he turns 2.  Should I mention this behavior to his pediatrician?  should I act now?  will he grow out of it?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Yes, you should mention it to his pediatrician, but there really is no sign of any significant problem. If, when he grabs your leg, he is pinching you, you should set a limit on that because he is hurting you. He may not, and likely does not, have any sense that he is hurting you - you have to teach him about this. The other behaviors appear to be either attempts to soothe himself or to relaese tension and they are not anything to worry about. Overall he appears to be developing well. But do mention it to the pediatrician and get his/her opinion. Please get back to us and let us know the feedback.

[inbcpe]

All of my kids have displayed similar behavior.  The ear thing was my son.  He'll still do it when he's super tired.  My daughters had a thing with long hair.  I've also been victim of the mushing and hugging.  The tongue biting I haven't seen.  And when my son was 2, he'd do the shake thing, but it looked more like uncontrolable anticipation more than anything else.

[myson]

That makes me feel alot better.  My mom found it strange and she raised three children and four grand children.  Hopefully he will grow out of it.  Thanks

[inbcpe]

What I was told was that it's a mechanism for releasing stress.  Slowly pinching the top of someone's ear or methodically running fingers through someone else's hair did seem to calm them.

[sophiesmom]

My daughter is also crazy about ears (she's now nearly 4). She insists on grabbing my ear whenever she is tired or in need of comforting (sometimes she also grabs her own ear), and she usually rubs her hair at the same time. The act is usually accompanied with a great sigh of relief. It seems to always make her feel happy, so I've never worried about it.

[eniko]

I have a 2 year old daughter who regularly scraches my face when tired, it seems to be the only thing that soothes her. The more tired she is, the more she is trying to scrach me (I usually try to gently stop her.)
It makes me feel a little better now, that I learned that she is not the only one! :)

[BlueBirdSchless]

That all sounds normal, exceptable, and sweet.

[childrenrtreasures]

Did you breastfeed? I have a friend that breastfed her son and from the time he was very tiny he would pinch her neck. He weaned around 12 months but still pinched her neck when he was tired until he was four. He would also open his mouth every time his cheek touched skin.It's definitely a comfort/calming measure. I agree that if it's hurting you need to make him stop (grab his hand and gently but firmly squeeze while looking him in the eye and say "no"...eye contact is important).

The tantrum thing is very common. Personally, I ignore it (I have 5 children). Getting emotionally involved with a screaming toddler is counterproductive. As long as they're in a safe area and not injured (or injuring anyone else!)I let it go. If they're screaming when I need them to be quiet (when I'm on the phone for example) I move them to their room and shut the door. If we're in the store I've learned to ignore what other people think (I've also learned not to take a toddler with no self-restraint to a store loaded with appealing colors and objects unless it's absolutely necessary!).

We did discover though that our second child was slightly anemic and had bouts of low blood sugar. He would throw tantrums about 2.5 - 3 hours after eating. We supplemented with children's vitamins and made sure he ate every two hours and that greatly reduced the tantrums. Maintaining a schedule also helped so that he knew what to expect. Consistancy is/was extremely important (he's 8 now and still thrives best emotionally if he stays on a schedule/routine).

Kelly