2 1/2 Year Old Exhibiting Abnormal Behavior

[Michael]

Our 2 1/2 year old son has been exhibiting abnormal behavior during the last 2 weeks while at different day care centers.  We recently changed to a new day care center due to reports that he was very disruptive and "out of control".  The fire alarm at the center was pulled twice by our son and he was constantly climbing.  Day care teachers feared for his safety.  While at his present day care center, he will not participate in day care activities and resists assistance and direction.  We understand that he cannot be controlled even with constant one-on-one attention.  It is reported that he spits on and sometimes hits other children.  He will not sit and listen to books.  He tries to run out the door when opened. He screams during timeouts.  He is very disruptive.

     While at home, he likes opening books, watching Disney videos and playing with his favorite toys, Bud Lightyear & Woody, but is not disruptive or out of control.  He sometimes spits or throws a tantrum when he does not get his way.  He seems to be a happy child.

     Question:  What does this behavior mean?  Do you have any recommendations?  Praytell.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Michael,

You mention that problems have been occurring over the past two weeks. Did these behaviors actually appear in such an acute fashion? In other words, were the behaviors not in evidence prior to two weeks ago? This is a crucial matter, because sudden, abrupt, acute onset of such symptoms, striking people as almost literally 'out of the blue', implies either physiological causative factors or major stress/disruption in his environment.

Now, keep in mind that the transfer to a new setting would, in and of itself, be unsettling. It sounds like the transfer is exacerbating an already-problematic state.

At home, your son seems to be a normal two-year-old, from your brief descrition. If he is medically OK, and there is no unusual stress in his life, he may not be developmentally ready for the out-of-home experience (though it sounds like something more acute is occurring. Change is structure, staffing, schedule, etc. at a pre-school setting can itself promote instability. The obvious note is that something(s) is/are having a destabilizing influence on your son. The task is to figure out what it/they are.