2 1/2 year defiant

my 2 1/2 year old step daughter is out of control. Her mother can not get through to her and I dont feel as though I can really do my Part. She is completely defiant and acts as though she is deaf when you try to speak to her. You have to almost scream to get her attention. whaterver you do finally get her to respond to she says no and goes on with what she was doing. this is causing a problem between her mother and I and I dont know waht to do. Thanks.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

The most important step to take is for you and your wife to settle your disagreement over behavioral expectations. This lack of agreemnet will continue to haunt you, and it is very harmful to your daughter. If you need professional guidance, go ahead and seek it.