2 1/2 year old potty training issues

[sydney b]

My 2 1/2 yr old daughter is having trouble with her potty training. When she is at home she potties fine. Rare accidents even at night. Most of the time she verbalizes "potty" when she has to go, but at her preschool she is consistently going to the bathroom in her pants. She even goes in her pants right after they go to the potty. The school thinks that she may be better off at another school. Is there anyway to get her to go to the bathroom and communicate that she needs to go at her school? She is 2 1/2 and all of the other kids in her class are potty trained. Any technique or general guide would be extremely helpful. Thanks.

[smfamily]

I too understand what you are going through. My 4 year old attends preschool.Under normal circumstances they will not allow a child to attend unless they are pottied trained.They made an exception for my son I think only because my oldest son attended  there for 2 years.  I hope they will not make my son stop attending school because he is not pottied trained. The school knows his situation. He has been on the laxative Miralax for 2 years now. He is still afraid of the toilet. Going to preschool hasn't made him want to go to the bathroom even though he is the only child that poops in a pull up. I really thought that would be a motivator. Now I am at a brick wall I have no clue what to do.If you have any adivce that would be greatly appreciated. I hope your child can stay where she is and won't have to attend a differnt school. Every child is different and develops differently as well. Good luck and I hope all goes well.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Pre-school programs vary in their patience for having children who have not yet mastered toilet training. It's too bad that the school in not more tolerant of this, because your daughter is by no means unusual in not having been fully potty trained at her young age. To be sure, many children (especially girls) have achieved this developmental milestone by her age, but many have not. Apart from arranging with the school for some periods of sitting on the potty and trying to be encouraging and supportive to your daughter, I would not exert much pressure because this will not be helpful. If the school can continue to be patient with this for a bit longer, given your daughter's success at home, she will likely be fine. Because of the differences in comfort/familiarity between home and school, many children do exhibit differences in their toileting behavior in the two locations. Remember that she is young and is by no means seriously outside the norms, even though her classmates have apparently mastered toilet training before she has. She's well on her way.