2 1/2 year old will only pee in the toilet

[emcdaniel]

My 2 1/2 year old has been potty trained since about the time she turned one.  She had a sudden allergic reaction to pullups. That was when we took her off diapers/pullups cold turkey.  We stuck her in panties and that was that.  She had done excellent with using the restroom in the toilet.  When she needed to pee or poop she would ask for the restroom.  At one point she had a constipation issue and obviously had trouble with her bowels. Once that passed, it seemed like that was when she began having accidents.  All of sudden (since about a month and a half ago) she refuses to use the toilet when she has a bowel movement.  She will hold it for how ever long she can manage too.  She'll complain her stomach hurts and so on but, it's simply because she's afraid to do a bowel movement in the toilet.  But, she has no problem what so ever doing a bowel movement in her panties.  I can tell when she needs to go and I'll put her on the toilet but she'll just sit there and cry as if someone was trying to kill her.  Five minutes after I take her off, she does it in her panties.  And I know it's not because she couldn't make it to the restroom, she just refuses to do it on the toilet. I just don't know why she won't. She'll go the restroom anytime she needss to pee with no problem, it's just the bowel movement part that's frustrating me.  I've tried sitting her time out each time she does it in her panties and I have no luck.  I'm at a loss as to what to do to make her use the toilet when she has a bowel movement.  I can't seem to come up with a reason why she's afraid to poop in the toilet but not afraid to pee in it. Help please!??!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It is likely that after her bout with constipation she associates pain with using the toilet. Be patient; she is still very young and was trained, as far as it went, even a bit too early. Continue to be supportive, not punitive.