2-1/2 yr old delayed speech & drooling

MY GRAND SON IS 2-1/2..SAYS WORDS.NO SENTENCES.AT THE MOST 2 WORDS TOGETHER "BAD DOG".ALSO CONSTANTLY DROOLS-.KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE SAYING IF YOU TELL HIM TO GO GET SOMETHING..YOU CAN CALL  HIS NAME OVER AND OVER AND HE WON'T RESPOND.NOT EVEN TURN HIS HEAD,BUT HE IS HEARING YOU.IF YOU ASK HIM A YES OR NO QUESTION HE DOES NOT REPLY OR SHAKE HIS HEAD..GONE THROUGH STAGES WHERE HE HOLDS HIS PANTS ON WHEN CHANGING HIM-THEN WENT THROUGH SLAPPING HIMSELF IN THE HEAD.NOW..WHEN YOU GO AFTER HIM TO TAKE SOMETHING AWAY..KEYS,ETC HE GRABS HIS HEAD AS IF HE IS GOING TO GET HIT.OR DROPS TO THE FLOOR.ALSO GRABS HIS HEAD WHEN DAD IS LAYING HIM DOWN TO CHANGE DIAPER..HIS MOM IS SAYING AUTISM./DR. SAYS NO AUTISM..I SAY POSSIBLE ABUSE ????
HE IS NOT IN DAYCARE AND AN ONLY CHILD WITH NO PLAYMATES EXCEPT FOR ME,HIS GRAND MA.. 2 TIMES A WEEK.VERY NON LOVING ATMOSPHERE.I TRIED TO TURN TV ON FOR HIM AND MOM SAYS NO TV!!.HE WANTED A COOKIE .BROUGHT THE CONTAINER OUT OF PANTRY..DIDN'T SPEAK.MOM YELLED AND SAYS NO SUGAR!..THEY ARE OUT A LOT SO HE MAY SPEND 1/2 A DAY IN HIS CAR SEAT..WHEN EVER I LEAVE HE CALLS OUT GG,GG,GG UNTIL I AM GONE OR UNTIL THEY PULL OUT TO GO SOMEWHERE.PARENTS SAY HE IS OUT OF CONTROL.I DON,T SEE THAT,JUST AVERAGE BEHAVIOR OF A 2-1/2 YR OLD.DAD SAYS HE NEEDS A SWITCH OR HIS *** BLISTERED..I AM VERY WORRIED AND CONCERNED.CAN DELAYED SPEECH ETC BE FROM ABUSE  SPANKING OR UNLOVING ATMOSPHERE???

[jdtm]

I AM VERY WORRIED AND CONCERNED.CAN DELAYED SPEECH ETC BE FROM ABUSE  SPANKING OR UNLOVING ATMOSPHERE??? --  Your words

Probably not.  I suspect your grandson could be on the autistic spectrum.  I think his mother is correct in her "wonderings" and the doctor is wrong.  There's a wide range of abilities/behaviours when dealing with spectrum disorders - our nephew was diagnosed with PDD-NOS (he's an adult today) and lives a very good life (you might wish to google this term for more information).  Early intervention is the key.  It is possible that my "suspicion" is off base; however, a trip to the family doctor might be in order where a referral should be requested - perhaps for a developmental pediatrician.  I do know that if autism (or some form of this disorder) is the issue; the earlier the intervention/treatment, the better the prognosis.  All the best ...

[AnnieBrooke]

It doesn't sound like they are being very good parents.  I would be really on the alert, and if it seems to rise to the level of abuse, I'd be ready to talk over my suspicions with someone at the children's protective services in your area.  I am not sure how far delayed the speech is, however.  It's not like he is saying nothing at all.  It might be possible to find out how much talking is normal at 2 1/2 on a website about children's speech development.

[margypops]

Yes It is really a good idea to do some research about anything 'delayed ' its used too easily nowadays as an excuse for any problem parents do'nt cope with .... .

[RockRose]

I agree with you and JDTM,  it does sound like he's in the autism spectrum,  which can carry with it some sensory integration issues.  The drooling was what caught my eye - does he have sensory problems?  Socks,  tags in clothing,  noises too loud,  textures of food,  etc?

Is he actually being hit,  or is the dad just in the habit of speaking that way out of frustration?  I understand, it can be VERY frustrating to work with a child when you don't know why they're reacting the way they are.  

He may need practice in responding when he's called.  I have a friend who's girl had to be told "answer".  So the mom would call her name,  and then say "answer now".  Who knows why she wouldn't answer by herself,  but she had to be taught to.  ??

Best wishes.

[WORRIEDGG]

thanks ,i will check into that!

[WORRIEDGG]

they are finally going to take him to be evaluated.? i have to see it happen. i have suggested something is not right for a long time..be it autism or something else going on in the home???thanks

[WORRIEDGG]

thanks for your comment.the parents are delayed in checking on delayed..

[WORRIEDGG]

thanks for comments.no sensory problems like tags ,socks etc that i can see..or food.i have not seen "hit" but the mom says she saw a mark on his butt & welts several times and 'dad' said "he just popped him" & "that's the only way he listens"-"i'm  gonna blister your ***","he needs a switch taken to him"stuff like that -makes me want him away from the baby.i have told her never leave him with the dad..but she "needs her time alone"
she goes to another part of the house to "do her thing" and has told me within minutes she hears him crying..goes to check what's wrong..always "nothing,he fell down" or something stupid.
that's why i wondered if baby is doing all these things and not talking from abuse..as i say "i have not seen any" but i don't like what i do see and hear.
maybe i'm just a nutty over protective grandmother.
i am going to try what you said about "answer now"when i talk to him.thanks

these are all things told to me by the mom..when the baby was maybe one...the dad said "he needs to start getting spanked"...very bad..do not trust,as dad was abused and has issues.handles baby like he's a sack of trash.he doesn't lay him down on sofa..he drops him or tosses him.and constantly picking him up by one arm instead of lifting him with both hands at the torso..

[margypops]

good sense of humor yes there's a lot of labeling going on today ...seems to be the vogue, many times it saves the parents thinking it could be the parenting skills .I always think that seeing the doctor is good .especially if child abuse is involved .

[WORRIEDGG]

thanks for your advise! :)

[margypops]

I have just reread your post and it does sound like he is in an abusive situation it is good he has you to be with him,but I do think that you may have to speak to the parents about your feelings and warn them this cannot go on .you can always ask CPS what they think .good luck it must be so worrying for you .

[WORRIEDGG]

I HAVE SHARED MY THOUGHTS WITH THEM AND THEY ACT LIKE IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD AND,"I COULDN'T BE MORE WRONG".AND " YOU ONLY SEE HIM A COUPLE TIMES A WEEK,HOW WOULD YOU KNOW ANYTHING"
.WHICH MAKES ME EVEN MORE SUSPICIOUS.ESPECIALLY SINCE THE MOTHER HAS TOLD ME ABOUT "DADS SPANKING IDEAS"..
BUT, IF BROUGHT UP RIGHT NOW YOU WOULD PROBABLY HEAR,"OH THAT WOULD NEVER HAPPEN,OR I WAS ONLY KIDDING"
THEY CAME HOME LAST NIGHT AND DIDN'T ACKNOWLEDGE THE BABY(2-1/2)NO "HI" NO HUG NO NOTHING....
I ALWAYS HATE TO LEAVE.AND...HE NEVER WANTS ME TO GO.SAD:(

[margypops]

Its so tough isnt it especially when you have a strong gut feeling all is not well, is there any way you can have him more than the 2 days so he is away from them more ? makes my heart break to hear this , its absolutely wonderful that he has you , I dont like the sound of spanking ideas, if he ever tells you anything like he is being hit, you may need to take it further ..good luck keep us up to date about him .

[WORRIEDGG]

THANKS EVERYBODY FOR SHARING YOUR IDEAS WITH ME!