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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
2 year old and "friend" can't get along
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
2 year old and "friend" can't get along
by Alison418, Jun 18, 2009 12:16PM
Hi
I have been taking my 2 year old son to meet up with my close friend and her son (who is almost exactly the same age as mine) for playdates since the two boys were 6 months old. Everything has been fine until the last couple weeks. It seems as if the two just cant stand each other. Her son is constantly hitting mine, taking toys from him and exhibiting very aggressive behavior in general. On the other hand, my son seems to be very sensitive to this behavior and will scream and cry every time the boy approaches him. I think that my sons reaction is actually encouraging the other little boy to continue to hit, grab etc. (its almost as if he is trying to "get a rise" out of him). It just seems odd because my friend's son doesn't seem to do this to any one else on the playground and my son doesn't usually respond so emotionally to other children's aggressive behavior... Could it be because the two know each other? I am just trying to figure out how to remedy the situation so the two can get along again... Not only do I enjoy spending time with my friend but I feel that it is good for the boys to have that regular social interaction...but at this point it seems like there is less enjoyment and more stress from these visits than anything else. Any advice on how to handle this situation would be greatly appreciated.
I have been taking my 2 year old son to meet up with my close friend and her son (who is almost exactly the same age as mine) for playdates since the two boys were 6 months old. Everything has been fine until the last couple weeks. It seems as if the two just cant stand each other. Her son is constantly hitting mine, taking toys from him and exhibiting very aggressive behavior in general. On the other hand, my son seems to be very sensitive to this behavior and will scream and cry every time the boy approaches him. I think that my sons reaction is actually encouraging the other little boy to continue to hit, grab etc. (its almost as if he is trying to "get a rise" out of him). It just seems odd because my friend's son doesn't seem to do this to any one else on the playground and my son doesn't usually respond so emotionally to other children's aggressive behavior... Could it be because the two know each other? I am just trying to figure out how to remedy the situation so the two can get along again... Not only do I enjoy spending time with my friend but I feel that it is good for the boys to have that regular social interaction...but at this point it seems like there is less enjoyment and more stress from these visits than anything else. Any advice on how to handle this situation would be greatly appreciated.
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Jun 19, 2009 11:27AM
, Jun 19, 2009 11:27AM
Two things might help. One is to take a short break from the contact - let the dust settle, so to speak. The other is that firm limits should be set on any aggressive behavior. Now, since the other boy is hitting your child, it is up to that parent to be firm in the limit-setting. Your child's upset is understandable and I would regard it as a normal reaction to an upsetting circumstance.
