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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
2 year old doesn't want to return to mother's home?
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
2 year old doesn't want to return to mother's home?
by heidi, Jun 06, 2000 12:00AM
My fiancee has a two-year old daughter. He has parenting time with the child every other weekend. When he goes to pick up his daughter, she wants to leave the mother's apartment immediately. She will go so far as to drag her car-seat out into the hallway. And she even pushes the mother away when the mother tries to hug or kiss her good-bye.
When the weekend is over and the child is to return to her mother. She cries uncontrollably. The behavior begins specifically when our car pulls into the mother's apartment complex and worsens as he walks the child to the door. Furthermor the child pushes the mother away, when the mother greets the child upon her return from the "weekend with Dad".
Both my fiancee and I are concerned about this behavior. Is it normal for a child this young to NOT want to be with her mother or in her mother's home? Are the concerns justified?
When the weekend is over and the child is to return to her mother. She cries uncontrollably. The behavior begins specifically when our car pulls into the mother's apartment complex and worsens as he walks the child to the door. Furthermor the child pushes the mother away, when the mother greets the child upon her return from the "weekend with Dad".
Both my fiancee and I are concerned about this behavior. Is it normal for a child this young to NOT want to be with her mother or in her mother's home? Are the concerns justified?
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Jun 06, 2000 12:00AM
, Jun 06, 2000 12:00AM
Dear Heidi,
Such behavior wouldn't be regarded as normal or to be expected. At the same time, it's not possible to make assumptions about what might be prompting the behavior. Suffice it to say, obviously, that the little girl is experiencing some pronounced conflict in this situation.
If her parents are agreeable, a consultation with a pediatric clinician would be in order, both to assess the situation and understand it, and to develop ways to lessen the stress and manage the situation.
So, yes, it is a cause for concern, and bears more than simply watchful waiting.
Such behavior wouldn't be regarded as normal or to be expected. At the same time, it's not possible to make assumptions about what might be prompting the behavior. Suffice it to say, obviously, that the little girl is experiencing some pronounced conflict in this situation.
If her parents are agreeable, a consultation with a pediatric clinician would be in order, both to assess the situation and understand it, and to develop ways to lessen the stress and manage the situation.
So, yes, it is a cause for concern, and bears more than simply watchful waiting.
Member Comments (3)
by Pat, Aug 07, 2000 12:00AM
Maybe she is being molested or abused. I would not disregard her behavior. Maybe she's afraid to tell anyone.
by Jackie, Aug 13, 2000 12:00AM
I have a two year old stepson who I raised from 10 mos old until he was 23 mos old his mother never had anything to do with him and in May she came and picked him up and now we only get to see him every other weekend, and he is angry with his father and me when he is here and cries when we take him home, but it is definitely worth investigating when this behavior is happening.
