2 year old hitting and pushing babies and peers without provocation

[pmd]

My two year old daughter hits and pushes babies and peers for no apparent reason.  I am a stay at home mom and she lives at home with her dad and I.  She has a schedule, gets praised appropriately and we model good behavior.  My question is why she is doing these things with no provocation.  She is exposed to other children about 6 hours per week when I am either working at my healthclub daycare or working out.  We have tried two minute time-outs and both positive and negative reinforcement.  I feel like if I knew what the function of her behavior was, I could have a better idea on how to deal with the behavior itself.  I have talked to her about it.  I have heard her talking to herself in bed and she will actually state " no hitting babies"  I feel like she knows right from wrong on a cognitive level, but perhaps her impulse control is underdeveloped.  How can I help her impulse control become more mature, if that is indeed the problem.  I have no problem with her when it is just us.  If she becomes defiant like normal two year olds do I just count to three and she complies.  She is a smart, compliant two year old in every other way, except when she is around other children.  Some peers of mine have told me to try spanking, but that goes against everything I have not only read, but what I believe.  How can I expect her not to hit when I use hitting to discipline.  That just doesnt make sense.  Spanking is something I have not yet tried and I am starting to think it may not be as bad as I think.  Please tell me that this is not the route to take.  I know that this is a process, but other children are getting hurt.  She comes off as being a "bad" girl when I know that she is not.  I need information on impulse control. I need information on different temperments.  I need information on control issues in personalities.  I need a light at the end of the tunnel.  Please help.  

pmd

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It's important to keep in mind that your daughter is only two. One of the challenges she faces in her development at this stage is control of impulses. The surest way to help her is by setting reasonable limits and following through religiously in relation to those limits. At the least sign of aggression she should be placed in her time out chair immediately for several minutes. When she is coming in contact with other children be sure to tell her that there is to be 'no hitting'. There's no need to turn to spanking to handle this situation. And this situation is not a matter of temperament - if it were, youd see behavior almost across the board, not in the situational maner you're witnessing it. It is a matter of development of impulse control and this naturally takes time.

[marvinme]

A related discussion, aggresive (aggressive) behaviour was started.