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2-year-old masterbating(masturbating)
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2-year-old masterbating(masturbating)

Hi,

I have a question pertaining to my 2-year-old and her habit of masterbating (masturbating).  This is so embarrassing for me and my husband.

Ever since she was around a year old (a little younger maybe, too) she has been...uh...how to say this...doing various things in order to feel a certain something *down there*. At first, we noticed she was pushing and rubbing against the thing that goes between the legs on the highchair. She would get herself going (pushing and rubbing) so much that she'd break out in a sweat, breathe heavily, and then at the end look like she was completely tired out (much like we all do after a romp in the hay). It was so embarrasing if we were with any friends or family.

As time went on, she was doing the same thing in her carseat against the part that goes between her legs. We've taken her out of the highchair, but she still finds ways to do this. She'll sit on the steps or on one of the small kid size chairs we have and squeeze her legs together while pointing her toes, and just move her hips up and down until she gets what she wants. Thank goodness she hasn't figured out she can do the same thing with her hands.

I can tell you that she has never been in a situation where anyone has touched her inappropriately. The only babysitters she has ever had are my parents and I know they haven't done anything. Her father and I are just mortified (especially him) and don't know what to do. We've scolded her for it and she just gets mad and screams and then goes back to doing it once we quit watching her. I thought maybe it was a stress reliever for her, but now I'm noticing that she's doing it at any time of the day...stressed or not.

Has anyone here had experience with something like this? I've researched and can't really find info on what to do with a 2 year old. She doesn't exactly understand me saying to only do this in her room when alone (like I've read in other advice given). I don't want to punish her and give her a complex about her sexuality for later when it's appropriate (with her future husband).

What would you do in this situation??? Help! We're even hesitant to put her in the church nursery for fear she might do this there!
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138 Comments
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184674_tn?1360864093
Perhaps you should post this in the Doctor-to-Patient Child Behavioral Health forum as well, so you can get a doctor's perspective about this.
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Avatar_n_tn
I've been trying to do that since yesterday, but it keeps telling me that forum is full.  So, I thought I'd try here for some general ideas about our problem.  Thanks.
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184674_tn?1360864093
That's odd about the Doc-to-Patient forum. Keep trying, just so you can definitely get professional medical advice about this.

I can try to offer some advice, but I'm probably about as confused as you are about your situation.

What I'd do, if I had that problem with my two yr old son, is sit him down immediately after catching him in the act (if it was in an inappropriate place or time, otherwise, I'd just ignore it), and tell him that sometimes he just CANNOT do that, and next time he would do that at an inappropriate time, I'd put him in time out.

The best comparable example I can think of with my son, however, is with spitting. He loves to spit, but I don't allow him to do it at other people or when we're out in public. At home, he can spit when he's in the tub or outside all he wants to.

A two-yr-old is old enough to understand when certain actions or words can be used at some times, but not others. But you have to be consistent with letting her know when those inappropiate times are. For example, when you have friends over--if she starts doing that in front of them, remove her from their presence, take her somewhere private, sit her down, and tell her that if she does that again, she will go to time out. She can continue if she wants *after* the friends go home.

Or in church nursery--tell the babysitters the situation (if you feel they must know), and tell them to come and get you if she starts doing that. Then take her into a private hallway, bathroom, or whatever, and tell her that if she does it again while she's at church, you are going to take her home and put her in time out. Then *follow through* if she does it again. She will not have forgotten that you told her about the time out--children between one and five years old have an excellent memory span that can last from from three hours to days or months at a time.

But give her the freedom to do that if it's in the privacy of your home, and only you and your husband have to deal with it. At this young age, maybe you don't have to send her to her room, but perhaps instead you could tell her that you don't want to see her do that, so would she please go around a corner or under a table or something. Then she won't feel like you're trying to "get rid of her" when she doesn't understand what she's doing. All she knows is that it feels good. But she needs to have the concept of appropriate times to do that. She's not too young to learn that.

I hope this helps. I could be really off base on this kind of situation.
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Avatar_n_tn
How you are responding to this "dilemma" says more about your own attitudes about sexuality and masturbation than anything.

A 2-year-old masturbates because they *can.* It feels good to them, just like playing, running, jumping, and all kinds of motor play feels good to them. It's perfectly normal. A couple of ways to deal with this are to either ignore it, or distract her from it. I doubt that 2-year-olds care much about "privacy issues" and that it's imporotant only to play with themselves "behind closed doors." "Scolding" her won't get you anywhere, and most probably will exacerbate the problem. For one thing, she will be picking up the message that what she is doing is "wrong" or "bad." Yikes.  It's neither one of those things, so it's not recommended to start sending THAT  message so early in her development. So just ignore it if that's possible.

Sorry, but 2-year-olds just don't have a concept of sexuality or orgasms or anything  like that. They are doing it because it feels good. It falls into the same category as  picking their nose or doing some other repetitive behavior that toddlers often do just because it is soothing, enjoyable, or pleasurable. Period. If she has a favorite toy or plaything, distract her with that.

As an aside, I find it interesting that you have already made the assumption that your daughter will be heterosexual.
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Avatar_n_tn
A 2-yr old should not be masterbating (masturbating)... period!  I would get medical or therapy help for this child.  That is not normal at all.

A 2-yr old touches themselves "down there" because they're exploring but not going to the extent that your child does.  There is no way a 2-yr old knows about masterbating (masturbating) unless someone has touched her in her private or has shown her something or she's seen something on her own...

I can tell you why that concerns me soooooo much... I was sexually abused as a child.  I can tell you that I was doing the same thing at 3-yrs old but in a little different way.  The ONLY way I knew about that was because someone was touching me in my private area.  

I am not saying that your child is being sexually abused but I am telling you that she's seen something or someone has showed her something in her little 2-yrs of life.  
P.S. - don't always trust close family members either... you never know... some family members very close to us are the ones that did the touching on me and never in a million years would anyone have ever thought that.

Get help immediately or things will get worse on her part and you'll have a lot of problems down the road!

I fortunately got help at an early age (16) and I am fine now.  

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Avatar_n_tn
I am so fed up with the outlook people have on children's sexuality! People see it as an unhealthy or dirty thing, and it isn't! You said that your daughter hasn't been molested, well of course she hasn't! Childhood masterbation (masturbation) is not a sign of any sort of sexual abuse. What your daughter is doing is perfectly normal, and if you think about it, understandable. Children, although not sexually mature, are sexual. Of course they have no sex drive like adults, but they can still experience errotic feelings.  Pretty much all children do this, I know I did from an early age and I think if you remember hard enough, I think you have too. Children can experience orgasms at 5 months.

It is clear to me that you have some prejudices about masterbation (masturbation), I'm guessing you had some closed minded parents who are probably extreamly religious. It's time you learnt the truth so not to pass on these incorrect teachings to your daughter.

Trust me, you won't get her to stop. If you do, you'll do more harm then good. When your daughter grows up and relates masterbation (masturbation) to sex, she'll get the idea that sex is bad or dirty. Trust me, this will cause problems in future relationships. I understand that it can be a problem if your daughter does this in front of other people. At 2 years old, you won't be able to reason with her. I'm afraid you will have to put up with it for now. Once your daughter gets a little older, you should teach her that masterbation (masturbation) is perfectly ok, but shouldn't be done in front of other people. You should teach her to do it in her room, this may feel a little strange at first but it's the best way.

Please for the sake of your daughter, do not punish her for doing something that every child does.

Your daughter isn't going to harm herself by masterbating (masturbating), and it will not cause any problems in the future. Listen to what I said and your daughter will grow up to be a perfectly normal, sexually healthy girl.

Don't listen to other people when they said that a 2 year old shouldn't be masterbating (masturbating). They have no idea what they are talking about.

Sorry for the nature of my post but I am so fed up about what religion has taught us about sex and masterbation (masturbation). It has caused too many problems and it's a time we put a stop to it.
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Avatar_n_tn
My two year old recently started doing this. I freaked out and was about to dial 911 because I though she was having a seizure lying on the floor except she was responsive. She would become very angry when I tried to pick her up. I called her pediatrition who is out on maternity leave and couldnt get her in. I am very relieved to have done some research and am realizing this is much more common than I could have imagined at this age. I just dont want anyone poking at her or probing her for no reason. I have done lots of research in the past week and the test cases that I have seen that have been done on these kids is not what I want to put her through if this is at all normal behavior. My question is when do you consider it an obsessive behavior. Or when do you know if this something eles. I too know my child has not been abused in anyway and my mother watches her during the day so she is not out of our care at any time. It is embarrasing and I dont know how to explain to guests or church day care without them looking at her different or thinking there something wrong with her. It would need to be explained to anyone watching my child or they could possibly dial 911 thinking she is having a seizure.
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Avatar_n_tn
I have read a lot on this subject also. How many times have you seen 1 or 2 or 3 year olds in any other household doing this? Not many, I would imagine. This behavior is obsessive and NOT normal. Some mastubation is of course norman, but not to this extent. She is showing signs of other syndroms (syndromes), possibly Asperger's, Bi-Polar, Autism, ADD. Check out all these things before you just chalk it up as normal. This is rare, not common. And those people who say it is, are not paying much attention to children or have not been around them much. Make sure she is ok in these areas first. If she checks out ok, then good! Then I wouldn't worry about it. Just make sure.
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535822_tn?1389452880
I agree with Lonnamaria this is not normal in a child of that age ,go and see your Doctor and ask him first,and it is one of the signs someone has been doing it to them, It has become a habit, dont punish her though its never the childs fault remember, be more osservant and check out how she beahves with other people even Family around, you could get a clue.
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This is a comment to "concerned123_23". My husband and I have noticed it on our child too. We caught her doing it when she was about 1.5 years old. It all started when she got her first basketball. She would lay on it, squeeze her legs and lift her hips up and down. She would break out is so much sweat. We ignored it at first but then we have noticed that she started doing so much of it and for long period of time. So we finally took the ball away from her and she stopped. Then couple months later she started again. We have noticed that whenever she was bored she would do it. So she would lay down on the floor, put her hands between her legs and lift her hips up then down. Again she would break into sweat. We were  embarrassed, confused and didn't know what to do. We tried researching it online but couldn't find anything. It didn't look like she was hurting and every time we tried to stop her she would get mad.  Than the behavior stopped again. She is 2 years old now and the  behavior is back. This time she would do it anywhere. In the car seat while I'm driving, she would try to squeeze her legs and point her toes up, break out in so much sweat, when we are home she would do the same thing on the couch. I just don't know what else to do. My husband is scared that it may be something wrong. My mom says she is probably doing it because it feels good and comfortable. Then I came across this website and found out that she is not the only one with this behavior. Reading some of the posts above I do want to make it clear to all of you that ever since my daughter was born and up to now I was the only one watching her. There has NEVER EVER been any abuse of any kind, my daughter has been with me all the time, she has had her own bedroom since she was born so she NEVER EVER saw my husband and I making love, I wanted to make that clear too. My husband and I decided to take her in and have a EEG done just to make sure that she is not experiencing any seizures. Doctor suggested a MRI, but I'm scared of doing that because she has to be heavily sedated because of her age in order to do a MRI.  If anyone has taken their child in for this and have any tests done, please let me know what was the outcome of it. I hope it's  just a normal behavior and nothing serious.
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Avatar_m_tn
To think anything is wrong with this child is rediculous.  I am a mother, an aunt, and also a teacher and this is not shocking behavior at all.  While working in a daycare center I would see girls (I have never seen boys do this) during nap time masturbating.  I think it is more common in girls because all they need to do is rub that area accidentally and they discover the possibilities.  My niece always did it when she was tired.  When she was very young, like 2-3, we would just try to distract her from what she was doing if it was in an inappropriate place.  Once she was 4 we explained to her that it is ok to touch her own body but that it is not ok to do it in front of people, it should be done in private.  As far as we know, she is now 6, the behavior has stopped.  Don't worry.  It won't last forever.
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293420_tn?1243146538
I agree with Nic306! For everyone on here who thinks your daughter must have been molested, they need to take a simple course in child psychology or even google it before they post such ridiculous remarks. I even saw someone say it's interesting that you're assuming your daughter will be heterosexual?! Who assumes their child will be homosexual?! I have nothing against people who are gay, but heterosexual people automatically assume that their child will be the same...especially at two years old. Do homosexual people assume that their children will also be gay?

Now, I have a 2-year-old son who is not displaying any of this behavior at this point in time, so I don't have any experience in what exactly I would do in your position. I agree with the others who say it's best to try to distract her...however, that might be difficult to do. What does she do if you pull her out of her highchair while this is going on? Does she cry and get upset, or is she OK?

You can't reason with a 2-year-old, so giving her consequences is not going to work at this point. My vote is for trying to distract her. You're doing the right thing by not scolding her for it. I thought your original post was great as you seem to be taking the right approach to the situation. Good job and good luck! :)
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Avatar_f_tn
Oh for goodness sakes!  I agree with most of the posters who are saying that this is typical normal behaviour.  You cannot say that a child has been molested simply because they are masturbating.  Is it a possibility?  Of course...it's a possibility for any child...but masturbation alone is not sufficient enough to say that she has been molested. If that were the case, there would be many more caregivers being investigated by CYF or CAS because of suspicion of child molestation.  Masturbation is a normal part of child development...nothing more, nothing less.  

Also, it's a little early to suggest that she may have aspergers, add, etc, such as lonnamaria06 suggested.  It's true that some kids who have a diagnosis on the PDD spectrum do repetitive things to self-stimulate...but consider that if she's still doing repetive self-soothing behaviours when she's 5 or 6...also like molestation...it takes much more than this behaviour to determine something along the PDD spectrum.  With PDD spectrum disorder, you would primarily be looking at social skills, making eye contact, development, etc.

I don't have children myself yet...but I am a clinical social worker that specializes in working with children and adolescents and I have many nieces and nephews as well. So, i would like to think that I know a thing or two about normal child development.

If it bothers you that much, ignore the behavior or distract her like some other posters said.  If she continues to do this when she's older, then have a chat with her about privacy and the importance of limiting these behaviours to the bathroom or her bedroom.  Relax, i know this can be alarming to many parents...ignore it as much as possible.  i believe she will grow out of it.  Particulalry once her social world begins expanding through preschool, day care, etc.
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Avatar_n_tn
I'm so glad I found this forum. It makes me feel so much better that other moms have seen this behavior too and it is nothing more then a normal child development. Those are some great advices. I'm a first time mom so all of this is new to me. Thank you!!!!
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565147_tn?1218256191
Children masterbate all the time usually most won't do it in front of other people but I have known people that their children did the same thing especially boys..Maybe she is very sensitive down there and since it feels good she does it because she can.I know this maybe a little more expensive but try double layering her diapers for a while or put a woman's pad in her diaper and put it on tight enough  so she cant get her hands in her pants and the pad will keep her from feeling as much..Kinda soften the blow if you know what I mean...Get inventive with kids you never know what you may have to do to try things out with them to discourage them from certain things ....Hope this helps Bri
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Avatar_n_tn
Well your daughter is completely normal. I had the same masterbation (masturbation) behaviour since I was less than 2 years old. I am now a 36 years old woman.

For such a long time I believed I was not normal and sick only until a few years I have visited a child behaviour website and leart it was a normal thing and it does happen to some of the toddlers. It was a great relief to me.

But what happened has destroyed my relation with my parents. I guess I was an embarrassment to them at that time. They were shouting at me and talked to me in a disgusted way as if I was doing something really dirty in order to stop me doing it. I started doing it secretly when I was about 5-6 years old. For so many years I have lived under the shadow of my abnormal behaviour. I believed I was a shame to my parents. I started to act as a rebellion to my family as a teenager.

Of course I am getting older now and leart to forgive. I tried to make up with my parents. We are okay now but we never talked about the problem I had. I love my parents and we are now just like any other normal families but deep down there is always something in the way.







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603946_tn?1333945439
well the bottom line TO ME  that the behavior is unacceptable- maybe it feels good to bite her dog- maybe it feels good to play in feces and I think we would all agree it would still be deemed acceptable>/ Certainly not- feels good: do it- just not my motto- Some people have that motto.......
the child is not obeying- no matter whether it is picking her nose or hitting or sticking out her tongue- in public the mom says- it is considered unacceptable behavior- and when mom says she needs to stop any unacceptable behavior whether the child likes it or not- he/she needs to obey
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Avatar_n_tn
It Is ridiculous how these people read "evidence of sexual abuse" into situations like this and argue that a 2 year old should not be exploring the sensitive parts of their bodies full stop.  Of course they should - that's what humans do, at all ages.  There's nothing wrong with her doing this, per se.  
But if she does embarrass you "publicly" by playing with herself, you have the right to punish her for it, so long as you make it clear that this is about private/public boundaries, and how her actions impact upon others.
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Avatar_n_tn
I would almost bet that those of you who say that these children have some kind of issues or ADD have not had children themselves. Children are pure and innocent and if they are doing acts like this it is because it is human nature to discover certain feelings. Its the adults that have issues. The ones that try to say these children are abnormal. Children are a gift of God and do not get corrupted until growing into adults. I am on this page because my 3 year old recently started doing the same thing. WE as PARENTS are lost as to handle the situation. And there is no one out there that can convince me that my 3 year old needs treatment. You on the other hand, maybe treatment or a child of your own. I never would have thought this sort of thing normal either but after questioning it and asking around I realize that most parents have seen or experienced this in one way or another. Biting a dog and playing in feces is not normal for a child or adult. But adults act in sexual behavior and children learn a curiosity about it. Feces and dog biting??? That is not even relavent to the subject.  
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Avatar_f_tn
I have noticed that my daughter is doing the "masturbation " thing. I've seen it about 3 times before yesterday. When I seen it yesterday I was on my computer and my couch is behind me. My 3 1/2 year old came and laid on the couch then started squeezing her legs together, trembling, her eyes rolling, and looking like she was "you know what". I did not say anything because I knew that would frighten her and she would run. Since I noticed it 3 times before I needed to find out what was going on. When I turned and looked at her she grabbed her blanket and ran into my room. I said "OK" to myself and waited 2-3 minutes before I went to the room to see what she was doing. She was watching cartoons, laying on the bed (sideways) shaking her legs, putting her head up and down, eyes rolling and such....I stood there to make sure what I was seeing was what I was seeing and walked into the room......I am a single parent and my daughter has been in daycare and with her dads side of the family...without me.  I have different views than most of those parents above. I FREAKED OUT!!!!! Every child is different. It is these parents that tell other parents that things are normal when   1. They do not know the parent   2. They do not know the child.  Parents that children do this and they have not been in daycare or in anyone elses care OK THATS FINE your child picked up something and is doing something they didnt see?? So you did not go out with friends, on a date, to the hair salon, biking running without your child?? It only takes once.  

Anyways ALL SITUATIONS ARE DIFFERENT TRUST YOUR INSTINCS NOT THIS WEBSITE OR ANYOTHER PARENTS.

My 1st reaction is who to "terminate", but my solution is how to help my daughter and this is my solution. 1. Ask her what she is doing and she said "She was going to sleep" obviously she knew what she was doing is wrong. HOW COULD A SHILD KNOW SOMETHING AS HUGE AS SEXUAL MASTURBATION IS WRONG??    2. I asked her if anyone touched her down there. She said yes.....Then said her own name   3. I then asked her if any boys touched her down there. She said "No".  4. I aksed her to show me what she was doing....she showed me!!      

My conclusion to this is....1. Make a doctors appointment to conclude all of what I now know to make sure my daughter is ok.

Not taking your child "JUST IN CASE"  Is pure stupidity.

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Avatar_n_tn
  How horrible and sad it is to see adults taking out their aggressions on these innocent babies. To condem them for touching themselves- It is unbelievable. I am sorry but kids are not stupid! If they discover that they themselves can induce any sort of pleasure they're gonna! It is not related to anything other than that!!! I think that it can also occur more often in kids that are bored.I could go on about all of this, but mostly I just can believe that this day in age people would label these kids as sexually disfunctional or screwed up ,wrong ,in trouble. I pray for the kids from families like that that they may have a shred of self confidence in there future!! Just outragous!! Just know how normal and human your children are!!!
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Avatar_n_tn
I am 23. As long as I can remember, I have masturbated. I remember doing it as a child because it felt good. I would use whatever, a blanket, pillow, etc. I remember getting punished/yelled at when I was about 5 years old for doing it at grandma's and at school. I did not know/understand why I was getting in trouble, and basically I eventually just did it in private. I did not even know what an orgasm was until i was 15, but I was having them for a very long time before then, basically an orgasm helped me sleep, still does.  As far as I know, I was never molested, and my mother did get me checked out once. I have an extremely high libido, and it is at times overwhelming even for my husband, but I suppose that is not a bad thing.
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535822_tn?1389452880
This is a 2 year old thread you  have  brought back you may not get any response from the original poster, maybe post a new thread if you want to air something ...
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Avatar_n_tn
I agree with those who say its normal. Your daughter discovered something that gives her pleasure and is just doing it because she likes the feeling. No you shouldn't make her feel bad about it and punish her, like if she was torturing a dog, or trying to grab a boiling pot. It's not evil, it's not dangerous, it's just socially inappropriate. If she was a monkey, maybe it would be socially ok... And she can't understand social protocols yet, as she is just learning how to talk. So my recommendation is PAY MORE ATTENTION to her. If she is distracted, playing, having fun in other ways, interacting with people, she won't get a chance to get the ball rolling "down there". When she is older, tell her only to do that in the privacy of her own room, and well when she's even older, she herself will understand what she's doing.
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535822_tn?1389452880
This is a 2year old thread ..
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535822_tn?1389452880
The person who put it back up must have scrolled down a long way to come up with a controversial one on masturbation, this has happened before, why would anyone search for such a thread to come to it with anger and justification..we have a troll
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905463_tn?1243529662
LOL I came on here because My 6 year old son was under his bed rubbing my daughters barbies on his penis. LOL I was trying to get some advice as in how to talk to him about his sisters not wanting their dolls rubbed on without comming at him wrong so that he knows its ok to do it. He was under his bed so I guess I have that less stress then some parents but come on? Reall? Bad? LOL thats sooo silly. The people that say masterbation (masturbation) is wrong in children.. how would you like your child to find out about their (down there)? When they are older and some other kid "makes a move"? I am sorry I am proud of my son! I wont be one of those young grandmas! Well from him at least.
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905463_tn?1243529662
LOL didnt read the fact that this is a two year old thread. with that the original poster came back on and told me how things are for her now
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1ST LET ME START BY SAYING THAT I AM A 34 YEAR OLD WOMEN NOW AND AS YOUNG AS I CAN REMEMBER I STARTED SQUEEZING MY LEGS TOGETHER BECAUSE I THOUGHT THE FEELING WAS GOOD AND OF COURSE AS A CHILD I HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS DOING BUT I DID IT BECAUSE I LIKED THE WAY IT MADE ME FEEL AND IT GREW WITH ME UP UNTIL NOW I STILL DO IT. I WAS NEVER EVER TOUCHED IN ANY WAY AND GREW UP IN A LOVING HOUSEHOLD. I NOW AM A PARENT OF 2 KIDS MY SON 5 AND MY DAUGHTER ALMOST 4. RECENTLY MY DAUGHTER STARTED TO SQUEEZE HER LEGS TOGETHER I NOTICED WHEN SHE IS LAYING ON THE COUCH WATCHING TV AND RELAXING AND FROM HAVING THE SAME SATISFACTION I KNOW IT IS PERFECTLY NORMAL WHAT MY DAUGHTER IS DOING.. IT IS SAD THAT CERTAIN PEOPLE FIND THIS NOT NORMAL OBVIOUS YOU HAVE NO IDEA ABOUT WHEN CHILDREN FIND THEIR PRIVATES IF YOU READ ALOT OF KIDS BOOKS THEY ALL SAY AS YOUNG AS A TODDLER. YES OF COURSE IF A PARENT WHO NEVER SEEN THIS TYPE OF THING IT WILL BE ALARMING AND HAVE CONCERNS TO WHICH THEIR KIDS MIGHT HAVE BENN TOUCHED. READING THESE THREADS MADE ME JUST ASK MY DAUGHTER IF ANY ONE BESIDES HERSELF EVER MADE HER FEEL THAT WAY AND OF COURSE SHE GAVE ME THE RESPONSE THAT I KNEW I WAS GOING TO GET AND SAID " NO MOMMY I JUST DO IT BECAUSE IT FEELS FUNNY" OF COURSE A 3 YEAR OLD WOULD USE THE WORD FUNNY BECAUSE IT IS A DIFFERENT FEELING AND THEY REALLY DO NOT KNOW HOW TO RELATE GOOD TO THAT... SO ON THAT NOTE I ONLY ASKED HER BECAUSE OF THIS THREAD AND I KNEW IT WAS NORMAL BECAUSE I AS HER MOM STILL DOES IT.. YES IT IS INSANE THAT IT GREW WITH ME AND I ALWAYS THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO DID THIS UNTIL I DID RESEARCH. HONESTLY I THOUGHT WHEN MY DAUGHTER STARTING DOING IT I THOUGHT IT WAS SOMETHING HERITARY BUT NOW I KNOW OTHERS DO THE SAME THING.. ALSO TO RELATE THIS TO A MENTAL ISSUE IS ALSO NOT RIGHT JUST BECAUSE SOME KIDS WITH PDD OR ADD OR ANY OTHER SPECTRUM HAVE THIS IN COMMON DOESN'T MEAN THAT A TODDLER WHO DOES THIS MUST HAVE THESE SYNDROMS (syndromes).. I KNOW I AM A HEALTHY MOM AND I DO IT FOR PLEASURE....I JUST TOLD MY DAUGHTER IF SHE FEELS TO DO THIS SHE SHOULD GO IN HER BED AND IF ANY ONE ELSE EVER MAKES HER FEEL LIKE THIS TO LET ME KNOW AND OF COURSE AS SHE GETS OLDER I WILL HAVE THE TALK WITH HER ABOUT THE BIRDS AND THE BEES.....I GUESS PEOPLE WHO HAD PAST ISSUES WITH BEING MOLESTATION IS AFRAID OF FEELING GOOD BECAUSE THEY WERE TOUCHED IN AREAS THAT WERE THEIR PRIVATE AND THEY GREW UP THINKING THAT U CAN NEVER FEEL GOOD IN THAT WAY..........I FEEL IT IS A GOOD THING TO TALK WITH YOUR KIDS AS EARLY AS THEY FIND THEMESELVES BECAUSE THAT WILL REASSURE THEM THAT THEY CAN TRUST YOU AS THEIR PARENT AND TELL YOU ANYTHING......BUT LIKE I SAID I ALWAYS THOUGHT I WAS DIFFERENT BUT NOW I KNOW I AM NOT BECAUSE MY DAUGHTER STARTED TO DO IT AND READING THIS THREAD ALOT OTHERS DO IT JUST LIKE SOME WOMEN TOUCH THEMSELVES DOWN THERE AND I AM SURE THEY ALWAYS TOUCHED THEMSELVES AS LITLLE AS THEY CAN REMEMBER AND IF NOT THEN I GUESS THAT ISNT NORMAL.......MASTURBATION IS VERY HEALTHY!!!!!!!!
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You people who say that these kids are not normal or need to go see a Dr are FN CRAZY! I can't believe some of you think a 2 year old needs meds because they are masterbating (masturbating)! I can't believe the ignorence in this world! i would love to see your kids in 20 years to see how screwed up they are because of your attitude!
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I'm 28 and have a 6 month old baby girl who I'm praying to a God that I dont want to believe in that she will not take after her mom in starting masterbation (masturbation) as early as I did, at 3. In fact I found this foum because I am tring to do research incase i have to deal with what my mom had to deal with and how not to give my daughter all the inferiority and other complexes that I carried with me all my life. Reading all your comments I can conclude people who did masterbate or have children masterbatng think its normal and thoes who didnt do it themselves and havent happened to see it are shocked by it, there was only one comment by a woman who did masterbate herself said it was because she was touched and this is the shocking one for me because its like she became like that(if thats the real reason and not a concidence) and had to suffer because of some one elses actions, its the only case against mine, I can always claim I playe dno part nor ever I chose such difficult life for myself, to thoes who think masterbation (masturbation) is imoral and disgusting, like my mother did, I HAD NO SAY IN IT nor do these children... but this woman was touched and she thinks thats what started this for her, I know I was never touched or seen anything as all other early masterbaters have also confirmed, so I'm biased and dont want to believe this could have happened to me because of some ones unintentional or intentional actions.... My personal experience was painful, I have a very religious mother who funnyly enough I once asked to participate in touching me with me and she bit her lip and that was that... latter she threatend to tell my secret and embaress me infront of my dad, making it very clear to me that its wrong and that i should feel ashamed about which I did for many many years. I too believed I was the only one, I prayed to God to kill me or cure me which he obviously didnt. when I was 10 i told my mom that I knew why she hated me and that I was damned and that I undrestood her frustration with me and I'm sorry for it... I wish she had shouted at me but her quite behavious just proved to me my situation is sooo bad it cannot be talked about. funnily enough when my best friend at school told me how babies are produced and I learned the concept of intercourse, I was disgusted and cried with shame thinking I could never do that being naked and close to some one else, I did have a normal child's innocense towards sex despite enjoying orgasms up to 16 times aday, and yes anytime anywhere, at school, on bathroom floor never being able to stop myself nor knowing why I should, I did it in different patterns as though I did have sexual hormones working in me sometimes harder than other times like as an adualt i am more horny before my period but as a child it was done specially when I was bored, or mentally challenged while studying, also when my bladder was ful and therefore the area stimulated and just before going to sleep... its so intersting for me to read the stretching toes detail described by these many parents... I never knew why I did it that way... I do remeber exactly how I started and how improved and developed it from pillow to two hands to one and now to a finger tip. I wish I could do research as to the mechanism of it and what happens when we get orgasm and also a research as to the percentage of children who do it. I might one day right a book with a research done myself, the world has to know... we are too ignorant about it. It's amazing for me that for so many years of my life I believed i was the only one and that I was damned and still at this age I cant be sure if there isnt some stress issue behind it, i mean I was born in a war and was an extremly sensitive child physically( specially down there, I give my husband  and my gynocologist alot of sh** everytime there are there)and emotionally and just suffered and made my parents suffer with me, I wonder why this behaviour emerges in some children and not others and I want to know if its stress related (I dont think it is though)... my behaviour did feel obssessive and I was an unhappy child, but maybe I was unhappy because of the complexes I got for this and not vice versa. Anyway... I can only hope no one ever makes their children feel dirty for a coping mechanism that God built in us to make our lives easier. This is what masterbating (masturbating) was for me and is still.
I think I had enough pain caused by this for a long time, I think God should give me break by not allowing to my daughter to be the same, but knowing him he will put this on my shoulders so that I could appreciate my mum (even more than I do thats just unfair) and dont be sooo harsh and judgemental on her... I must have been soooo embaressing to her... it doesnt excuse her telling me that she doesnt love because she didnt chose me and she only can love her husband because she chse him!
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i really want to make this short because it is very disturbing to me. i hope i am wrong and probobly will never find out the truth because its so common for people to be in denial. but my 5 yr old grandson used to do this. he was 5 in dec. and i guess the last time i saw him do this he was about early 4yrs old but did this from about a yr or 2 yrs old. i know for a fact that his father is a sex addict and watches allot of porn. i dont feel like being proper wright now so im just going to say it like it is, he is a stupid 25ryr old who doesn't realize how stupid he is. but i firmly believe my grandson has seen something. monkey see monkey do. i asked him myself and  he went into a story about how he spys on his daddy and saw him humping on the bed and his dad told him to get out. him and my daughter are seperated and the dad has him every sat to sun eve.,. my daughter is not denying this. she believes it also. and by the way my grandson did realise it was not normal because he would get embarressed when he was caught and stop doing it until you walked out of the room. so make a long story short we kept encourging him to go to his room if he wanted to do this. but due to his anxiety of being afraid to be alone upstairs by himself he would say no and try to stop. sorry but everyone knows this feels good but we all know it is inappropriat behaviour in public. thats why we dont see people walking down the street materbating. or go visit relitives and friends and everyone is just relaxing and masterbating (masturbating). come on people wake up and smell the coffee. now ya see i didn't want to go here bacause i didn't want to get hostile. these kids saw this somewhere. PLEASE DONT BE IN DENIAL!!!!  like someone else said in another thread kids seem to know what other inappropriat behaviours are. for example wouldn't you jump on your kids if you saw them eating their boogies? in public or not it is just simply uncalled for. farting out loud in public and laughing, oh let me just sit here on my couch and pee my pants. or let me just relieve myself wright now on the couch in the living room at 4 yrs old and poop my pants. "i dont need to use the bathroom because it feels good wright now to just relieve myslf" Would that not concern a parent or do these parents think that is normal also. " oh well i dont want my child to be uncompfortable about goin to the bathroom so i will just say its normal to go in your pants" come on people, do you get my drift? i want to apoligize for any misunderstandings. please do not think i am angry at anyone. i just dont get it and i am trying to help and get the best advise i can get. we are all in this together. good luck everyone :)   jupsie
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Hi, I just felt the need to add something here because of the last post. Unless I read it wrong, Jupsie said, in capital letters, "please do not be in denial," and that this behaviour is always caused by abuse or exposure from somewhere else. And Jupsie said it was "Monkey see, Monkey Do."

While I believe it can be, I Know that it isn't always the case. When I was three, I had the chicken pox, and being sick and in bed, and feeling yucky, and itchy all day, I happened to discover that my private area felt good when I was just scratching an itch close to that area. And after that I naturally started doing this regularly all the time, I just didn't know or think of it as sexual. But I felt embarrassed about it when my mom saw me doing it once, and I felt ashamed, and I started feeling like I was doing something bad, yet I couldn't stop. This turned into a habit that I kept very secret to myself, but had a lot of fear of getting caught. And I did honestly feel like I was doing something wrong, but really, I was just doing something normal; I was just younger than most people consider a normal age to begin masturbating at. And while it was of course right for me to keep this a private activity, I wish I didn't have the guilt and fear about it that I had when I was little.

Of course this is only my opinion, and I can't speak for other kids that do the same thing, I just know my story, I accidentally discovered it while scratching an itch between my legs, and if I can accidentally discover that at three, why couldn't it be possible for another three or four year old to accidentally discover it as well. I don't believe it's always "monkey  see, monkey do" that jupsie has made it out to be, while that may be the case sometimes, I can't see it as always the case.

Just had to toss in my two cents.....
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I should have scrolled down farther before posting about the same problem with my 16-mo-old daughter. It's very embarrassing and frustrating. It's not normal, I have never known another girl to do this at such a young age. A very frustrating situation to be in. I havne't seen anything posted about how to help them stop, no one seems to be able to stop the behavior.
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My five year old daughter has done this since she was ten months old. At first I thought she was just rocking herself to sleep. I, her mother, have also been with her since the time she was born. She is my only child and she has been very protected. No chance of any sexual abuse. We have taken her to her pediatricians office on a couple of occasions to inquire about this...He told us to ignore it until she was old enough to understand the concept of "it's okay to do, but do it in your room". We even mentioned it to the Dr;s at childrens hospital and they stated the same thing.

Although, you HAVE to look at each situation to judge whether there has been sexual abuse I have been told by many doctors that it is not at all uncommon in toddlers. My five year old to this day still does it.

I think the concern of us as parents is we worry what "other people with think". We don't want CPS showing up on our doorstep and accusing the father or somebody of sexual abuse when we know it has not occured.

I have been very open with her daycare provider, teachers, doctors, and whoever else about this. We are trying to explain to her that this is somthing that needs to be done in her room and that it is okay, but its not something you do in front of people. They are too YOUNG to be scolded or understand anything about sexuality at this age. I am an RN and I work in a nursery. I see all different kinds of pediatricians and doctors on a daily basis. And believe me, if it didn't happen to me and my own child I would have literally wondered about it myself.

It is disturbing to see your child doing it. But once you realize there are lots of other children that do it, and its not to abnormal. You begin to feel better as a parent and realize it's just another part of parenting you have to work thru.

Best of luck to all of you.
Wendy
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I sometimes find my three year old doing things that seem to resemble masterbating (masturbating) and I feel its completely normal... how I handle this situation is if he is doing things in front of people or me I tell him not to be fresh and to do it wen he is alone... if I walk into his room and he is alone doing it. I usually jus walk out and leave him be... I don't want to embarass him in anyway and make him feel like its wrong to explore himself... but at the same time I teach him that its fresh to do it wit me or anyone else in the room and do it when he is alone... I have also gave him the talk every parent should give their child wen they reach an age where they are old enough to understand that those areas are his private areas. His penis (he calls it his webbos) and his behind. and no one absolutely no one should be touchin his private area not even me unless I or his father are bathing him and washing his areas or if he needs us to help him wipe after he uses the toilet. He seems to understand. So I find there is nothing wrong wit him exporing himself. As long as he does it in private.
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i think it is pefectly normal and i would try ignoring it and to all u who think children masterbating (masturbating) is wrong just think, they are just inecent children they are just doing what makes them feel good they don't know it is not appropriate, the only way they learn its not is from the parent both my boys done that when they were two if you pay attention to it they will do it more cause they know it bothers you children are like that. Honey just try to ignor it and tell your husband it is very normal.
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To be honest, reading these comments made me want to throw up. To all who say this behavior is "normal" is completely wrong. It is ONLY normal for children to be doing things like this if they themselves have been exposed to certain sexual things (an adult or child touching them or viewing filthy material on tv). For the woman who stated earlier that an infant as young as 5 months old can recieve an organism-- how would you even know something like that??? Are you even hearing what you sound like? I'm sorry, but a child doesn't know what feels good, unless they are being shown. Doesn't anyone have common sense anymore? It's no wonder child pornography has taken off like it has-- it's because of all of this backwards thinking and justification of wrong behavior.      
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I need a simple answer.  Is it ok for a 11yr to masterbate? When discussed, explains he gets plesure out of it. Is it ok ? or take him to a doctor?
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My daughter has been doing the same thing since she was about 1 (lying on the floor touching her privates and wiggly about) she is now 2 and still does it. I didn't know why she was doing it, it really concerned. But it is great to know that it is normal. One of the carers at nursery asked me about it which made me really think she should notu be doing it. It is usually jst when she is trying to go to sleep, so i think i will let her just get on with it. Its not doing her or anyone else any harm.
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My daughter is now 9 and has masturbated since she was born.  She has never been abused or exposed to any sexual behavior or anything like.  It started with her pushing against her car seat strap, when the pediatrican recommended switching to a booster she then started using her hand.  I don't think it's normal and have taken her to 10+ different doctors who say it is normal.  I've had blood tests to check her hormones, thyroid, everything, even an brain MRI, everything comes back normal.  She does show signs of compulsive disorder and sensory integration disorder.  She won't wear certain clothes, doesn't like leather furniture, and her head is extra sensitive when brushing it.  In environments with a lot going on (like school program, school carnival, etc.) she has a melt down after a while.  It is almost like a 2 yr old tantrum.  Her brain seem so busy all the time, it's hard to her to be quiet.  Little things like her underwear or pants being too tight will set off the masturbation and she can't help it, she has NOT been abused in anyway or exposed to anything.  She's never even been with a sitter or neighbor, etc.  
So for someone to comment on this who has no knowledge of what we are and have been through with our kids, you don't get it so shut it!  
We're looking for help and answers, not your remarks telling us our kids have been exposed or abused in some way.  I can say with 110% certianty my daughter hasn't.  So if you don't have anything knowledgeable to contribute or experienced what we are, get off this forum, we're looking for help not your uneducated opinion.
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I have a 2 year old who has just started "rubbing" and it started just like many of you have explained (car seat strap and highchair).  I asked my pediatricians about it and they have informed me it is perfectly normal and just "soothing" to her.  They told me not to scold her for doing it just tell her she needs to do it in private, which isn't the easiest thing to explain to a 2 year old.  I have noticed it seems to be more "regular" when she is tired.  And to the women who probably doen't even have children and wants to put her nose in a discussion that it doesn't belong...shame on you!!  We are parents looking for answers to a question, not looking for your worldly judgement!  I am a stay at home mother and my child has never been left with anyone except her grandmothers and never been exposed to anything that a 2 year old little girl shouldn't be...so how dare you!
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my little girl does this only lately she discovered she can take off her nappy and touch it.... since this has happened i have noticed shes is stopping.
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This discussion does so remind me of me! I can remember doing many of these things when I was young as well. But I was scared of it, because I didn't know what it was, and I was worried about ever getting caught, so I made this activity my secret. I always felt ashamed, embarrassed and nervous about it even when I was two or three years old. And I did get caught once, I was five, and if my mom didn't handle it correctly, I would have felt ashamed, embarrassed, nervous, afraid, guilt and I would have lived through my worst imaginable nightmare. But I'm glad my mom handled it properly and correctly. This is how it happened.

I was in my bed for a Sunday afternoon nap (our parents frequently forced us to take sunday naps at that age, if not on other days, always on sundays), but when I had awoke and was bored (I always woke up earlier than I was actually allowed to get out of bed during these afternoon naps), I rolled myself onto my stomach, and placed my hands between my legs to hump them which is something I often did right after waking up from an afternoon nap. But this particular week, my mom opened up the door to see if I was still asleep, she wanted to wake me up and tell me that supper was ready (I had actually overslept for an afternoon without knowing it). All of a sudden I jumped off of my hands as I realized I was doing this right in front of my mom, and I looked very scared, and felt very ashamed. I even started to cry. She asked me if I was okay and why I was crying. All I could say to her was that she now knew my secret thing that I felt bad doing. But she talked to me and told me not to worry about it. She said it is a secret thing, but not really a secret. She said that almost everybody does this. She said it feels very good, but that it's kept a secret because it's not appropriate to deliberately do in front of people. She said most people do what I was doing, just in their beds, or in the bathtub, or wherever else they may be alone. She said that I was alone, and that it was an appropriate time for me to do this, and that it was actually her that should have knocked before coming in so that I would have a chance to stop doing it before she came in. She promised to knock next time and not to walk in anymore. She said I don't need to feel bad, and that I wasn't doing anything wrong, and she even told me that she did what I was doing too sometimes. And once I felt better and understood that things were okay, she gave me a hug and told me that I could go upstairs for supper, or I could keep doing what I was doing for a little bit after she leaves and then go upstairs. I said that I felt tired and that I wanted to just lye down for a bit and then get up. She said that would be okay, and she gave me a big smile on her way out.

I think this was a proper way to handle it. She told me I didn't do anything wrong, made me feel comfortable, not embarrassed, gave me just the age-appropriate information that I needed. She didn't tell me I was masturbating, and I'm sure that was the right thing to not tell me. I had no idea it had anything to do with sex, it just feels good to a five year old. To be honest, I'm kind of glad she caught me when she did,  because up until then I felt guilty about what I was doing in secret, and after we had this talk, I knew that I was okay and normal after all.

But, I don't know what you can tell a two year old doing this. They may not understand. Maybe just tell them it's okay, just not in front of people, and keep reminding them that whenever they start to do it in front of people. Just whisper in their ear, "remember not in front of people." And maybe that will be enough to make them stop doing it at inappropriate times. If the only person who catches them doing it is you, then maybe just say nothing and ignore it so that they don't get embarrassed about all this, and wait till they are older to understand private / public behaviour. But do not scold them for doing something wrong, because they may think that what they were doing was wrong, when it's not wrong, only that it was an inappropriate time to do it.
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I am a first time mom. my daughter is 1 year old. Today for the fist time i encountered this behavior while feeding her dinner in her highchair. She all of a sudden started pushing and rubbing against the thing that goes between the legs on the highchair and kept going. That to me didn't look right and i got the feeling as to what she was doing so i pushed her back and made her set up straight but she went back to doing that and again i made her stop but she got mad and wanted me to leave her. So i decided to just take her out of the highchair and let her roam around for a while so she is distracted, after 5 to 10 min i put her back in the highchair to feed her but this time she had forgotten about that but right when the meal ended some how she went back to doing that. So this time i for sure new what was going on so i took her out of the chair instantly.
I also was so confussed as to what i should do. whom should i talk to, should i even tell my husband or is he going to think i'm sick in the head for saying that about my 1 year old. So i searched online about this and found this forum and i'm glade i'm not the only one going through with this, other ppl have the same issue at hand. But i don't think it's normal for such a little baby to be doing something like this but then again it is human nature and everyone does it. but when it comes to kids this young i think we should make them stop so that they don't get a hand of it and get addicted to doing it.
So as for me as soon as i saw her in this action the first thing that came to mind was that ok she is feeling good and wants to do this but i needed to get her distracted and out of there before she reached the end because once they reach the end and experience how it feels in the end that's when they keep on doing it again and again to feel that same end result and i sure did not want her to feel that because i don't want her to get the habit of doing this. so i made her stop by taking her out of the highchair and from now on every time i see her doing that i will put her some were else and distract her with other things for as long as i can until she understands to do this alone in private when is older.
That would be my best advise as soon as u see ur daughter do this pick her up and distract her, turn the music on and start dancing and singing with her, turn the cartoons on or start talking to her and playing with her or just carry her around the house. Do this every time, don't let her go all the way by just watching her, distract her and soon she will stop doing that when she can't experience the ending.

It only happened to me once but I'm going to do what ever it takes to make sure i distract her right away when i catch her and when she is old enough that's when i will talk to her and explain her that this is normal and to be done alone in private and not to be told or talked about.

Hope this helps.
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why would you and your husband sit there and watch her in the high chair as she does this until "she tires herself out?"  I cant imagine this happening once, let alone multiple times.  As soon as you thought something was going on why didnt you say "No" right then, why would you sit there and let this go down?  I mean this takes a few minutes and you just sat there?  Im sorry but you should have said no and stopped this right away. The fact that you've let this go on and actually watched her do it makes me kind of sick. If you dont stop her before she gets going then you might as well do nothing.  If you dont correct this immediately then you are wasting your time. You can do time out everytime she starts say "No, thats Bad" and put her in time out.  Dont be afraid to say its bad there will never be a time in her future where masturbating with the table leg in the kitchen in front of people will be a good thing.  Do you really need to be told what to do here?  Im sorry but people have no sense
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One more comment...I read through a few more of these posts and I had to revisit this.  Some of you people are OVER REACTING LIKE CRAZY.  ITS A NATURAL BODILY FUNCTION, CALM DOWN.  I think parents see this and feel sick because they do not want to even think of their innocent child engaging in this behavior.  When parents see doctors about this its to ease the suffering of the parent whose freaked out.  The kid is not hurt at all.  The kid only becomes hurt when THE PARENT OVER REACTS AND MAKES THEM FEEL LIKE A FREAK.  God, I just feel like in this day and age we should have more sense then this.  The kid needs to be corrected and shown the proper social etiquete.  They need constant supervision and they need to know its wrong to do this in public or in front of anyone.  They need to know that you dont touch other people in this way and that no one should ever touch u in this way.  I mean use your head.At the same time they need to know that this is a normal part of growing up but its a private thing.  Its really not that complicated.  If you think your child has been abused see a doctor and if they have call police. Some people on this thread are just plain over reacting though,  I saw people saying that the kids were probably shown porn and it caused them to act out sexually.  I think thats jumping to conclusions that just because a kid saw sex or a naked adult doesnt mean they will reenact it.  They would probably think its gross.   If your child saw a sex scene by accident make sure you talk to him/her about it. Its not always a big deal.

You know when I was a kid I saw my mother naked and it was no big deal.  It was my mother and if your not sick minded why would that even be an issue.  Now Im modest so I would never walk around without clothes on even alone lol but I dont think we need to call a swat team if a kid sees a naked lady.   When i was like 8 me and my brother were outside on our porch and we saw the neighbors accros the street naked walking around in their bedroom.  It was in the summer when they had the lights on.  We ran in and were rolling around on the floor laughing and telling our parents.  My whole family was cracking up.  They werent the type of people who did that on purpose.  My mom called over there and we saw her run naked for the phone and we were dying.  She was so embarassed and it was the running joke for 10 years on our street.  It was funny and it wasnt intended.  To us kids it certainly wasnt seen in a sexual way AT ALL.  Im afraid in this day and age someone would have us on Dr Phil lol.   should we have called police?

Let me give you a for instance, One time my ex boyfriend  fell asleep on the couch while he was watching a regular movie on hbo or showtime when his son woke him up for a drink at 3am there was a soft porn move on the tv and he almost died when he saw it.  He didnt think his son saw it because he was really half asleep but when I heard about it I told him dont just assume.  Talk to your son and explain what he saw and that Daddy doesnt watch those kind of movies and we dont want that kind of movie in our home etc.  So things can happen in an innocent way unintended and no one deserves to go to jail because a kid stumbled accross a dirty movie.  We have become obsessed as a nation.
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It is very normal for a child to masterbate! Thats how they explore themselves.. My daughter is 2 and masterbates. I know its something that is going to happen so it really doesnt bother me.. I want her to grown up and be confident in her sexuality and not be ashamed of anything.. So dont worry about anything it is very normal.. Good luck with everything.
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This happened in the car today. Same scenario. Two-year-old. Car seat. Against the strap between her legs. I am relatively open-minded, but yes, it bothered me. Regardless, it seemed bizarre to start saying "no!" over such a thing. I reserve "no!" for dangerous situations and boundary setting. While it's obviously not appropriate to masturbate in a car with your sister and father present, how do you explain that to a two-year-old? It's impossible. Am I now going to equate doing something that is normal (but contextually inappropriate--two-year-olds don't easily grasp context, e.g., a temper tantrum in a busy store) with avoiding rushing cars in a street and not hitting or biting others, by saying "no!" to her over it. At a more aware age perhaps, but at two, it just doesn't make sense, as hard as the whole thing was. Of course, like some of these other people suggested (but without their suggestion), I ran through every person my daughter has ever had contact with, and like other people have indicated, it's impossible that she's been molested (and I'm not in denial about that, or in denial about being in denial about that, etc., etc.) The bottom line is she hates the restraint she feels in her car seat, she stretches and pushes against it all the time, and in doing so, what do you know, she accidentally ran into something that feels good about it. A difficult moment for me? Sure. However, after reading the above and by my own way of thinking, I've determined it's a normal situation regardless of whether it makes me feel uncomfortable or not, and the next step is to parent the situation as normally as possible. When I can explain the appropriate situational context to her, I will. In the meantime, I have determined that normal parenting in this particular instance does not include making an armchair diagnosis of autistic spectrum disorder for my two-year-old, calling the police or starting a witch hunt with Child Protective Services, encouraging premature sexuality or applauding her individuality or growth, or having a priest perform an exorcism. I knew the reactions in this post would fall along a range that included crazy extremes, but I found what I was really looking for:  I'm not the only parent dealing with this issue in a two-year-old. Period. The End. Thank you!
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First, perhaps the problem is that you all keep referring to the child's action as masturbation which has a negative stigma. There's nothing wrong with touching, and exploring your body as this child and EVERY CHILD DOES. So many of you seem to be caught up in a warped sense of self. Sounds like another mental disease caused by Christianity. Actually, I think Jesus is shaking his head and all of you for your ignorance and misinterpretation of his teachings. Shame on all of you!
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I have read every reply on this forum about 2 yr old masturbation.  To marty405 Yes it is very normal for an 11 year old boy, you need to now explain to him that you're aware he's having strange feelings in his body and that he is only to explore those areas in private being in his bedroom etc. but never ever in public or in front of other people like at school, church etc.  
Being a RN and also working with MRDD children and adults of all ages I assure you it is perfectly normal behavior for toddlers to explore their private areas or rub on them.  They of course know nothing about sex they just know they like the way it feels.   I can honestly say the issue of possible abuse on 99.9% of these children is most likely non existent and need not even be considered a factor in the behavior.
Only one reply I read concerned me regarding the possibility of sexual abuse and that was the post from Jupsie,  I being that child's grandmother would be watching my grandchild very very closely for signs of abuse.  I would be asking that child a lot of questions like has anyone ever touch you in your private area or Down there, if he answered yes I'd have him at a doctor very quickly, if he answered No but became very withdrawn or started acted strange I would be very concerned.  
The issue of masturbation is not a big problem but the problem arises when the behavior is made a big deal of. Most children will out grow it but as you've read in the replies Not All will.  The more attention you place on the behavior the more likely the child will repeat it.   Never tell a child they are Bad for exploring but also never let them sit there for hours doing it either.  If a child is in their high chair and starts the rubbing, remove them from the high chair without acknowledging what you witnessed.  If they are not finished eating try putting down a blanket or towel on the floor and finishing the meal there.  If they are still in diapers change them if they start the behavior to see if that will help.  Also try potty training ASAP if they are old enough to start, diapers have a tendency to fit snugly in that area and when they urinate the urine is warm and tickles when it  comes out and is redirected back to the appropriate area causing a sensation.   The main thing is to avoid items that stimulate the sensation example items between their legs.  When in the high chair or car seat try rolling up a towel and placing up higher on the abdomen ensuring it is not too tight this will help move the strap between the legs out just enough to prevent them from reaching it.  Attempt to distract them with a toy or a movie etc.  and/or place them in their room or in a private area if unable to redirect the behavior.  I hope these suggestions help you all.
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Okay, I understand this is a normal thing that most kids do grow out of. It's something that is best ignored when they are too young to understand. And if they do it at times like bedtime, or bathtime, when they are in private anyways, it's best to ignore it. If they do it in public, distraction may work, and if it doesn't, then maybe move them to a private area.

Nonetheless, this doesn't stop any embarrassment a parent feels if say, a bunch of guests are over, and your young child starts rubbing against something, or straddling something between their legs. This has been our problem when our daughter turned two. She would often lie on her tummy, place her hands between her legs, and slide her hips up and down. But the thing is, it took a year or so for her to learn not to do that in front of people. And it would make us feel embarrassed as parents because we don't know what the guests might be thinking. When she was three, we were able to sit her down, and she would understand that she can't do this all the time and not in front of people.

Now she is seven, but we've noticed, she often retreats to her bedroom, and to being alone in order to do this. I don't think this is healthy either. I'm glad she is doing this in private, but I wish it was only at bedtime or something, not having to go there to her bedroom five times a day in order to do this.
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My oldest daughter is now 7 and she started doing "it" when she was not even two. She would do it on her rocking horse, use her hands between her legs, would use a pillow or rub herself on the strap on the carseat. It was almost obsessive. I honestly never had a problem with her doing it, of course I made sure she didn't do it in public or when we had guests over. She outgrow it by the age of 4. She's a perfectly healthy normal child now.

My now 2 1/2 year old started the same behavior a couple of month ago. She's quite obsessive with it, she does it everywhere and anytime she wants to do it. (which is quite often during the day). I've learned to ignore it when we're at home. It's nothing bad and there's definitely not something wrong with her, like seizures, mental illness, AS or anything like that. It is a natural, developmental normal behavior at this age.

Just wanted to give my input for those who are very worried about that kind of behavior. If your child does it in front of other people, distract her with her favorite toy, suggest a book to read or offer snack/drinks. They usually just do it because they're bored. It's also a repetitive behavior they learned, just like throwing a ball. they do it because it's feels good and is fun for them. They have no idea about sexual relations and are definitely not abused children just because they masturbate.  
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JUST pray over your children and invite the Holy Spirit to overshadow them, guide and help them.  THERE Is more power in laying a hand on a child's head when they are asleep and asking God to keep that child in Him that most know.  A mothers prayer, laying hands, especially if the child is asleep and the parent is sincere to God can go a long long long way.

I am not overly religious, but I know this works.  PS - God has shown me visions of Jesus Christ too.. awake a few times like a curtain of sorts opened and HE came at me and I felt heaven?  It was too good to describe, so I am not saying something I have no experience with, although I am not a church goer, I did once ask God to give me a new soul because this one was messed up from the get go.. and I read the new testament asking for a new soul till I saw ASK for the HOLY SPIRIT so I did... over and over... I did... I woke up happier but I kept asking for it still... asking also for God to get me outta here and give me heaven instead...

Asking, reading, asking, reading ... near the end I woke up and I felt heaven... not just felt good, I thought I was dreaming or someone had drugged me or something.. .TOO good to tell you.. but I know this.. that if a person asks for heaven to be given and for the HOLY SPIRIT that that is what God wants, READ, ask, repeat and stick to it.

The whole thing took me three and a half weeks, 12 years ago... and the feeling of heaven grows still within me.. as if heaven is expanding within me, sometimes it takes my breath away it so overwhelming ... took me a while to leave the house because God showed me a lot ... through dreams, visions and what I feel .. even now,, the Living Water flowing from wthin making ALL things that are secret known as it says in Luke..

FORGET about organized faith.. its OKAY, don't me wrong.. but Jesus Christ and the Living Water and HEAVEN being within you is a LOT more literal than people assume, even most Christians... ANY ?'s - ***@****

love u all.. really.. .with a lot of hope that all share in this... soon.

Alex
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JUST pray over your children and invite the Holy Spirit to overshadow them, guide and help them.  THERE Is more power in laying a hand on a child's head when they are asleep and asking God to keep that child in Him that most know.  A mothers prayer, laying hands, especially if the child is asleep and the parent is sincere to God can go a long long long way.

I am not overly religious, but I know this works.  PS - God has shown me visions of Jesus Christ too.. awake a few times like a curtain of sorts opened and HE came at me and I felt heaven?  It was too good to describe, so I am not saying something I have no experience with, although I am not a church goer, I did once ask God to give me a new soul because this one was messed up from the get go.. and I read the new testament asking for a new soul till I saw ASK for the HOLY SPIRIT so I did... over and over... I did... I woke up happier but I kept asking for it still... asking also for God to get me outta here and give me heaven instead...

Asking, reading, asking, reading ... near the end I woke up and I felt heaven... not just felt good, I thought I was dreaming or someone had drugged me or something.. .TOO good to tell you.. but I know this.. that if a person asks for heaven to be given and for the HOLY SPIRIT that that is what God wants, READ, ask, repeat and stick to it.

The whole thing took me three and a half weeks, 12 years ago... and the feeling of heaven grows still within me.. as if heaven is expanding within me, sometimes it takes my breath away it so overwhelming ... took me a while to leave the house because God showed me a lot ... through dreams, visions and what I feel .. even now,, the Living Water flowing from wthin making ALL things that are secret known as it says in Luke..

FORGET about organized faith.. its OKAY, don't me wrong.. but Jesus Christ and the Living Water and HEAVEN being within you is a LOT more literal than people assume, even most Christians... ANY ?'s - ***@****

love u all.. really.. .with a lot of hope that all share in this... soon.

Alex
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Anyone at any age enjoys those feelings. It is perfectly natural and healthy. Simply enough all you do when you catch her doing it is tell her that is something you do in private. If someone barged in on you having sex or masturbating and told you to stop and it was bad. Wouldn't you just think they were stupid and get pissed off. All you need to do is convince her that it is inappropriate to do that in front of people and give her some alone time. You cannot and will not stop it without causing serious physiological damage. why would you even debate a medical cure for pleasure.. might as well just do as some cultures do and cut off her clitoris.
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hi
i saw my three year old sister masterbate all the time. we just let her do it. finally i said something to her about it. but years later i felt bad that i had been the public masterbation (masturbation) cop.
   i felt like maybe i screwed her up by telling her not to do it. She was very innocent. she was wild. she would run around naked and then lay on her belly and move herself up and down on her hands. she was a sophisticated masterbater.
   i don't think i did that at her age but she sure did. she was wild and free. later she grew to be very insecure and timid. i wish i would have let her do her thing. it really wasn't a big deal.
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sort your head out love,its disgustin the way you thought of your THREE year old sister,if she is is insecure its no wonder,where is your head at?
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ye know what,looking over your post,it seems like your the one that needs help,this is what medhelp is here for and as much as i hate it,i hope you seek the help you most definitely need...what gives me comfort in the fact that u are on this sight in the first place,so i god dam pray and hope you find the help your looking for
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oi,this is a 2 yr old wer talking about,at that age babies can just put sentences together,your so inappropriate its unbelieveable,i want to say so much more,....but you disgust me
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you disturb me reading your post,you say your a female in your profile yet you state your a man in your posts..you disgust me,and i hope that other people get on to what you say,i dont know who you are and where your from,but your sick
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I'm very glad I found this forum as I recently was babysitting my 2.5 yr old brother and saw him rubbing himself. I was a little spooked, but I didn't yell at him or tell him it was wrong. I actually called him over and distracted him with toys and we started playing and coloring.

He did it again a few days later and again, I just offered a distraction. If you yell at them or make them feel that it's "bad", you'll only worsen the situation I think. Keeping them active and engaging on other activities will decrease the times they do this. (Again, my 28yrld, baysitted 4 times, opinion!!)

But yeah, I can understand why they would do it, kids shower and touch themselves, even parents touch kids privates when drying them, etc. It's normal for some stimulation to occur. You just have to be a MATURE adult and handle the situation as one.

1. Don't yell at the child or make him think what he's doing is bad. (When you think or see the child may be masturbating)
2. Immediately distract the child with some activity without mentioning what he or she is doing. (coloring, sports, ball throwing, something that will get them up and moving around.)
3. It works, I swear!

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i totally agree with you! im so glad i read all these post from other people cuz i started to feel like my daughter was being olested because she actually sticks her hands in her diaper and starts playing with her self. She does it to the point where her whole body starts shaking and she will get mad at you if u try to make her stop. Afte reading eveyones post i realize this must be normal female behavior for a child at two years old because so many other children are doing it! Thanks every one for ur post it was very helpful!
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Just leave it it's perfectly natural!
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what are you? Are you a doctor? I am not, that is why we post our opinions to the main post and not here to judge, but to help and talk about related experiences.......
I did this when I was young (my parents never knew I was about 5yrs or so NEVER BEEN MOLESTED) and I got over it, but it was something that I did in private. I dont think that children view it as masterbation (masturbation), hell they dont even know what it is, they just figure its a funny, good relaxing feeling, i DID! I didnt know what this what or what type of expression others would get from it. I just did it before bed time and thought that it was a way to get me to sleep it felt good to me as a child. Your are thinking in the mind of an adult and in today society yes it sounds nasty to read and all that is going on today it sounds just as nasty to me. But its real and its just a natural thing that children experience. Yes I think it is okay to let your child act it out let them know to do it in private. I think that if you dont it will be an urge or an ich and it will cause future problems that could end up being bad or nasty in the future becuase you wouldnt let them get it out. I dont think it is that serious though children dont know any better and you can try to explain y they should stop but you can only let them learn and at these ages your words are in one ear and out the other.
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my god you got it so wrong,read up on the posts.nor am i a doctor but im a mum and a bloody good one at that,have a go at the narrowminded people that dont seem to give a ****.
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also i cant remember my ITCHES as a five year old,coz...well,i was 5 not being judgemental or anything but just think you have got a good memmory
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I just have to say that it's common and okay for a toddler to masturbate. I remember doing it when I was two or three and I haven't stopped since. It's not sexual at all at those ages. It just starts off as an accidental discovery that feels good. And then it gets repeated because of that. It's important for parents to react in the proper manner with understanding about it and not to freak out. You want to teach your child as soon as you can about privacy, but without making them feel guilty. At the same time, if you suspect that your child was abused and that it wasn't an accidental discovery on their part, you need to talk with your child in a way where they will give you honest answers and open up to you as soon as they are old enough. But kids shouldn't be punished for doing it. Parents should use re-direction when they can if their child is doing it in public.If it is in private, then try to just ignore it and give them their privacy.

Perhaps the word "masturbation" is not the right word to be using. The dictionary defines "masturbation" as "manipulation of the genitals for sexual purposes." Except that it's not sexual here, they just do it for one reason or another because they discovered it feels good. It doesn't mean to them what it does to us, and is why to adults it can be embarrassing, and also seem scarry and cause lots of worry and concern.

But I'm just saying from personal experience, I can remember masturbating when I was little. I did it alone, and never let anybody see me. I don't even think my parents knew what I was up to under my blanket covers sometimes. Anyways, I turned out alright and normal, so it must have been okay.
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I both masterbated and wet the bed from a very early age,  i used to place myself on the end of a desk and point my toes stimulatng my clitorus to feel good,  i had no idea what i was doing and i was told off everytime i did it too, i suffered years of not being accepted my both my peers and my family because of this and today i struggle with self esteem as a result

my advice is seek professional help,  i'v been holding this problem for 30 years and after five years of councelling I'm only just starting to come to terms with it now,  It really has ruined my life and caused me so much pain confusion and damage please help your child, keep looking till you find the right therapist because the older you get the harder it becomes to accept
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Thank you for your comments...my 7 year old is autistic and bipolar and we had problems with her masturbating in early childhood.  It was excessive when I was admitted into the hospital for 3 weeks and her dad continued to take the kids to early childhood.  I also thought she was having a seizure when I first saw her masturbating on the floor in her front room (she had just started new medications-mood stabilizers).  The principal at the school called social services on our family for her coming to complete orgasms (This sickened me thinking they watched my daughter the whole time she was masturbating at school).  I took my concerns to her pediatrician, who told me if he called social services on kids about masturbating he would be calling them all day long.  I have since also learned that hypersexuality is a quality associated with bipolar.  I have talked to my daughters psychologist and what you say is correct, if not handled appropriately, this could cause issues later in life regarding my daughter's future relationships and sex life.  We have taught her that it is not okay to do around other people and that the only appropriate place is her bedroom or her bathroom alone....Thank you again for your comments
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Why post a response when you clearly have no idea what your on about, your opinion isn't fact so shush. I am in university studying child psych and child masturbation IS TOTALLY NORMAL! it usually starts around the age of 1-2 when either potty training starts and they are being freed of their nappy or could be any reason but it DOES happen. Like children have different preferences of toys, foods, colours, some children like to feel stimulation to their private parts. It's not sick, it's not weird, Its a totally natural behaviour. Take spitting for instance, you should never punish a child for spitting as they will realise that spitting is naughty, and when that child WANTS to be naughty they will do it again and the same with swearing, just act like you haven't seen it. Like with children masturbating, u dont want them thinking masturbating is naughty cos as they grow up and the relationship between teen and parents get rocky they will more than likely sleep with any Tom **** n Harry, because she feels like rebelling. DO NOT LET YOUR CHILD THINK SHE IS BAD FOR DOING THAT.
And in relation to thinking it's related to being abused... Load of rubbish. Infact, more children then none, who have been abused will act like their privates don't exist as although a child doesn't know that she's being 'abused' as such, it is still traumatic to them, and then think that their privates are bad things.
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Sorry I worded that wrong, ignore it before they get to about 3 n when they r close to starting school explain to them that when grown ups want to feel that way, they go into their bedroom and do it in secret because it's a very personal thing to do and isn't something to share.
When adults have orgasms it's a totally different feeling to when a child does, as a babies privates are alot more sensitive. The feeling of sexual pleasure to a toddler is more of a soothing relief feeling.  Like when I was little I used to have my mum tickle the inside of my forearm, was also for a soothing feeling.
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I think it's great that you are offering your advice here, but please try not to be so rude to others.  All of us here do the best we can, and offer opinions based on our own experiences.  Most are not experts and this is a peer to peer forum.  I see you are new to MedHelp, so just wanted to point out that telling someone to Shush is perhaps not the kindest way to disagree with their thoughts. I happen to agree with your opinion, but around here we try to respect each other.
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I cannot belive that so many people are on here saying that their young children are masturbating and yet some of you are saying it's not normal, i looked on here because i have been having the same things with my daughter who is almost 4 and been doing it since she was about 2. after reading all this I am now not at all worried, if somany people are in the same situation it must be normal.
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When my daughter was being toilet trained, she'd often put her hand in front of or over top of her private part as a signal that she needed to go. Shortly after that, I noticed that she'd start placing her hand there just whenever and whereever. Now she is three years old, and still does this. She puts her hand over her area (on the outside of her clothing at least) while she is standing or walking. And at the same time she seems to be rubbing slightly as well. She does this often like a few minutes every hour. At first I thought she was just itchy or something else causing some discomfort, but after talking to her, I found out that it just feels good to her.

I think it's just normal and she probably just discovered it by accident once when she was holding, and jumping, and probably had to go potty real bad.

And as soon as I could, I trained her to only do this at home, not out in public. When she gets older, I'll train her to only do it in her room or in the bathroom. But for now it's okay.

My main concern is that she does it a lot, like once an hour all day. And while she's doing it, it's hard to distract her with something else. If it's time for her to eat supper for example, if she's doing it, she won't stop and come to eat. She makes us wait first till she's finished. If I punish her, I want her to know it's because she's not listening or doing what she should at the right time, and that the punishment isn't that she's masturbating. It's because I called her to supper table and she didn't come. Hopefully that will work and not cause any unhealthy attitudes about her body.

But I wish I knew why she was doing it so much. It's one thing if it was just a couple times a day, but given the chance she'll do it all the time, and that drives me crazy.
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Stop talking ****
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PLease do not feel alone this is super normal, my daughter did it and she is not 15 now my niece is doing it so thank the people who are positive. and all i have to say is to the other people who dont understand GET EDUCATED!
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I have to comment on this subject b/c I began masturbating at a very young age.  I don't know how normal my behavior was & now as an adult, I often wonder if I was molested as a child.  I am female & believe I was around 3 when it started.  My aunt told me that she saw me take off my diaper and rub myself.  I can remember rubbing myself in class at a table with other people around.  I would also hump one of my stuffed animals.  I even masturbated at an older age while in bed with with my mom & brother.  I think I did it when I was tired and when I was stressed.  I don't ever remember anyone saying anything to me a/b it but I did began to do it in private as I got older.  It may have normal behavior but I believe it was a sign of being molested.  Other signs I have are having nightmares about my childhood bedroom, I had a couple urinary track infections as a child, I can remember pooping in the living room and being scolded, I wouldn't eat my dinner, I was always right beside my mom; at the age of eighteen I was raped by 3 men when intoxicated.  The most disturbing thing a/b the rape is that 3 years after the fact, I met one of the rapist at a bar & ended up sleeping with him.  Make a long story short, I believe masturbating can be a sign of sexual abuse & should not be ignored.  I will never know for sure if i was molested but it would have been beneficial if my mother had not ignored the signs.
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I've said this so many times on this board, "it's normal, don't worry about it." Most kids do it and it doesn't mean anything special.
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Im 24, and I have been masterbating (masturbating) as long as I can remember (which is about 2.5 years of age, I got a long memory). I HAVE NEVER been sexually abused or touched inappropriately. The one thing I can say about it is that I have a much higher sex drive then most women, probably even higher than most men. I think its normal, it just probably means she is more sesitive "down there" then most females.
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It is not wrong for a parent to assume that their children are normal or in perfect harmony with nature.  It is however, weird (almost comical, and perhaps sad) that you would pick up on this and have the nerve to harass the parent for thinking this way.  It is wrong to judge a person for their sexuality be it straight or gay, but social engineering has never worked in the past and is unlikely to work in the future.  You cannot MAKE a person see things your way.  Mother nature made sexuality pleasurable as a way to entice procreation.  This mother's problem was with her two year old doing something that is not proper in public, not with the future sexuality of her child.
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My daughter is almost four. She has been touching herself down below for what feels like forever. I remember it started when she was maybe 18 months something like that. To begin with she only seemed to do it either in her car seat or when she was strapped in her pushchair and at first we thought the harness was uncomfortable - not realizing she was actually rubbing herself against it. I was really horrified as I couldn't understand why she would do that at such a young age. I also got very embarrassed if anyone else was in the car and she was doing it, especially other kids as they would always ask what she was doing! I spoke to the health visitor about it then and she advised to ignore/distract and it would eventually stop. I am saddened to say it hasn't and instead of doing it in the car which seems to have stopped, she lies on her front and touches herself on top of her clothing. She used to do this a lot and in front of others. When she was three, we were finally able to teach her that it was a private thing, and should only be done in her room. But now it's still hard for us to accept her behavior when she constantly goes to her room to do her thing several times throughout the day.
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This is an old post but i found it looking for info on this so ill post to it what i have found. I took my daughter to the doctor to see if she has something wrong with her because she was doing pelvic thrusts in her high chair and her doctor smiled and said oh she is masterbating (masturbating). It ok and totally normal. She said I may want to discourage her from doing it in public places if she starts that and told me of other patients she had that we having the same concern. She assured me that this is totally normal for some kids, not all kids do it eg she is the first of our 7 kids to do it, but normal none the less. My daughter has never been babysitted by anyone other than my wife and myself.
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it is normalfor a 2 yr old child to do this mine did n it scared me as well so i took her to doc n everything...n they all said the same its normal some kids do it some dont they grow out of it my daughter did......good luck with what ever u choice to do for ur child
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hi
what a reilief to see yr post my daughter is now two and half years old and doing the same thing she started in high chair, car seat and buggy now she just gets down on her knees shopping centres anywhere to do it i just try distraction but it does not work.some days she has no quality of life for sitting rocking.i thought my daughters rocking was all related to her having poor quality sleep (she has night terrors)and seems to do it more when tired but after reading yr post and others im no sure.if yr ever on here please let me know if she has stopped?
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OMG!  You have described my 2 year old to the T!!! LOL!! I mean everything.... and it all began with her kinda humping her Boppy chair when she was 6 month old. At First we were like "nah!!!.... it couldnt be!!".....! and now she is 2 and does it in her car seat ...high chair...just as you described. She has this really focused look and tenses her whole body while pointing her toes!!! Its quite funny actually .....and I totally ignore it as I feel this is normal. I am a stay at home mother and have been with her 24/7 all the days she's been on this Earth....Trust me when I say I have never left her side......so this has to be normal .....
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OMG!  You have described my 2 year old to the T!!! LOL!! I mean everything.... and it all began with her kinda humping her Boppy chair when she was 6 month old. At First we were like "nah!!!.... it couldnt be!!".....! and now she is 2 and does it in her car seat ...high chair...just as you described. She has this really focused look and tenses her whole body while pointing her toes!!! Its quite funny actually .....and I totally ignore it as I feel this is normal. I am a stay at home mother and have been with her 24/7 all the days she's been on this Earth....Trust me when I say I have never left her side......so this has to be normal .....
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I start to masturbate since 3 years old (and now I am 37 years old). Watching porn movies accidentally almost everyday in a month, seeing naughty/ sexy pictures and photos, or watching people kissing has triggered me of getting aroused my libido, and made down there tingling and wet. I didn't know what these people were doing, but somehow it excited me a lot. My mother used to caught me a lot and asked me to stop, the more she asked me the more I did it behind her back (2 - 6 times a day). Now I am aware that it made me addicted to sex/ hyper sex with my ex-boyfriend or different men, hard for me to get orgasm from my ex-boyfriend, sometimes I need to make many variations, even not normal ones, only to get orgasm. It made me hard to have a steady relationship, because no men can satisfied my sex drive. It made me think that love is sex, and we will get love by giving sex. I will get anxiety if I don't get masturbate, even for a day, it drained my energy and ruined the way I think. Of course masturbate is normal and luckily that down there is still working to get aroused, but if it is too much and become codependent I think better to distract this action, masturbate was sort of like the only tool to release stress, made comfortable. Luckily after 34 years, my mind set have changed. I think to change this behavior, first is by not making your child getting embarrased, be patient and make your child comfortable, educate your child with love, give your child knowledge about love and sex, and understand your child a lot. I think when a child already start masturbate, based on my experience, they already know about relationship between men and women, or all. These kids are smarter actually than others, because the mind can think and behave a lot faster ahead than the normal age do, which I did, only I had problems with emotional control, means well need to be taken with special care, because they are fragile. I wish my mother did that to me when I was 3 years old, educate me and not made me embarrassed even in front of her, pretend I didn't get caught and not prohibited me, instead why not just communicate with me. I remember she asked me why I kept doing it, and I told her because it felt good, she only told me to stop because what I did was only for adult but she never told me the reason or never made me to be busy or distract me to be active with other children after school.
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My son is doing the same thing he is three years old and he gets his penus hard by feeling on my stomach or my friends and he starts humping  when his penus gets hard  he tells me it hurts  im scared!!!!
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,,,we went to two differant doctors in canada, for same situation with 1.5 years old ril,show the video to doctors, both did not prescribe any medication,test,etc, just said it makes baby feel good, and she will stop it once she found anything els to make her feel good.
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,,,we went to two differant doctors in canada, for same situation with 1.5 years old ril,show the video to doctors, both did not prescribe any medication,test,etc, just said it makes baby feel good, and she will stop it once she found anything els to make her feel good
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My son was 5 when he first doing this and I took him to the doctor because he had what the doctor called " blue balls".... She told me it was normal and he was gonna keep doing it, because he had more harmonies than his  other 5 yr olds friends... The doctor and I talked to him and it seemed to help where he wasn't doing in front of us and only in his room by himself... Talk with your doctor and yes please DO NOT punish her for this because it is very much normal!!!
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Oh thank goodness to hear it's normal.. I'm a first time mom, and my daughter too started "humping" just on the floor when she was about 6 months old and is 2-1/2 now and still does it.. she started mainly when she would be sleepy..  That was usually our cue for us to lay her down for a nap.. Now, I don't think she does it just when she's sleepy, but also when she's bored, however, I'll peak in on her shortly after we lay her down for he nap, and she's **** it..  I'm so glad it stops, because she has done it at least once that I know of at church.  It was last year, she near her bed time, she dropped to the floor and just started... I was terrified and thought.. "We can't ever go back to church" haha...Anyway.. Thanks for all the posts, makes me feel a lot better.  I only am on here because I saw her doing it again.... typing this now as she gets busy LOL Anway.,. I hope some of you can find comfort in knowing she's normal!  Take care cand God Bless!
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Children exploring there private parts are normal and there are a lot more kids that only explore there private parts then those that actually masturbate. That is one of the reasons parents are so embarrassed. The first thing I would do if my son did this at such a young age is immediately take him to his pediatric doctor. Explain what I am witnessing so they can make sure my child has NOT been abused in a sexual way. Then he or she can assist is a good plan of action for your child and family. to be on the safe side. Not all children that masturbate have been abused in this way however, i would rule it out of the scenario...The next thing I would do is to explain that masturbation is to be done in PRIVATE. She needs to learn this RULE just like you would poop on the floor in school or church whenever you felt like going. There is a private room and time for this. That should be implemented like any other privacy things we all do.  The other thing is to never get angry or yell at her because this will only make her defiant and not listen to the rules while she is doing this. Sexuality is a beautiful thing and when a child of this age is exploring deeper than the average child there has to be rules no matter what. there are rules for everything in a home, including this if necessary. She I am sure is going to break out of this stage eventually, however you really need to as a parent to set guidelines for her when she can and cannot do this. It is not appropriate for anyone to do this in public or in front of a social group such as school or church. Adults get arrested for doing this in public therefore, setting boundaries now while she is young and helping her and supporting her through her sexuality is what needs to happen.   I am not saying there is anything wrong with masturbating. It is a normal human reaction..But it is wrong to do it in public and because she is a child it is more acceptable but rules, rules rules have to be implemented like any other behavior that is not socially acceptable. Good luck
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I was never sexually abused and I started masturbating around 3 or 4! It was pleasurable and I wanted to do it all the time! My grandma caught me once and told me she was gonna tell my daddy if she seen me doing it again from then on I made sure no one was around and I didn't talk to anyone about it. I never stopped and Around the time I was 14 my mother had a talk with me about masterbating (masturbating) instead of having sex. I still remember my grandmas reaction so I told my mom that was gross! I grew up to be perfectly normal! I've only had sex with my husband but I am very uncomfortable touching myself when we are in the bedroom thanks to grandma! I don't have children yet but when I do if I catch them masterbating (masturbating) I will not punish them for it instead I will teach them it's a private thing and when they get older I will explain it the same way I will explain sex!
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Pretty much all has been said already. I will still add my story to this. xD

I do not remember when i began masterbating (masturbating)... Oh wait! i began around 11 or 12 i think. Before that, i was just.. having fun... Making myself feel good. I didn't know what it was before my best friend of that time told me it was called that way. To me and before that moment, i never thought it was sexual or anything like that.

I had never seen my parents do it, or at least don't remember anything sex-related. My parents never began to be parents. At a very young age, my dad would use his strict and serious voice to make us understand and said: "Your body is yours only. NO ONE can touch it if you don't want them to. It's YOURS only." and they would let us know stuff like: "it takes a man and a woman to get a baby"... but guess what... until i think 8 years old, i thought you had to "talk" with the person and then a baby would apear... but that was just how delirious my imagination has always been.

Yes, a few times i heard a noise in the hallway at night and would turn my head to see what it was... my dad going to bathroom naked... okay... now what? yes, i already saw my bro naked in a bath... so what again? yes, i saw how to change a baby young... so what? yes, me and my "best boy friend" of my childhood would show each other how we are... and so what again?

Back to masterbation (masturbation), yes, i had been trying things young... My parents would tell me not to, seriously. They wouldn't scold me or anything... Yes, they've seen me on the water jet of the pool... "oups"... told me not to. Figured: i have to do this when they don't see me do it. And that's how i figured it was something to do in private. They didn't tell me anything about it before long... Still... i am not diffrent than anyone else now a day...

I would do it once a day, before sleeping... or twice... in the bath... or while playing in my room sometimes... but i wouldn't do it in public and i've never had problems with it. Later on, yes, i would rarely not do it for more than 1 or 2 days... But i've been put to the test, a challenge... yes, i can "quit" for a full month, without even "thinking" about anything related... ( okay, it was a pain... but hey, how many 20-35 years old woman does it less than once a month or even week? being 17-18 and having discovered something else than a right hand, well... i think i am pretty normal... -.-' )

I am not sex addict, not sad or desillusionnate about sex, love or romance.

Doing it as a child it just a way to... fill time or get some weird and yet comfortable feelings...

Other than that, i have read here about someone sayign it could be related to some "syndroms (syndromes) (syndromes), possibly Asperger's, Bi-Polar, Autism, ADD" ... well... i haven't been diagnosticated with any of these... not even thought to have any of these, even though i show a lot of similarities with Asperger's. Related fact? maybe... i don't know... but maybe not...

Even so... i am a college student for the second year as a 18 years old girl, performing a lot in about anything ( but for looking people in the eyes or dancing... or understanding guy's psycology... i can't do any of these... xD same goes for cooking eggs... no patience for it!!)

Nothing is wrong with any child unlest the parent is... Understand yourself and remember how you were a child, how you used to think... and understand your child... And remember that they are before being a child, human beings, in every aspect of humanity.

=]

=]
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I can completely relate to the question u asked about your 2 yr. old daughter because my 2 yr. old daughter is doing the same exact thing. And much like you had mentioned i'm finding information on children using their hands to explore themselves but Im not finding anything on children using other means like ours are. The only thing we do with our daughter is let her know when she's doing it in front of us or others that it needs to stop. We don't yell or get angry with her but we try to find ways to occupy her so she doesn't continue doing it. There have been times we have walked the other way and ignored it but it still doesn't make it any easier to deal with. As much as i don't like this little matter, it's helpful to know we're not the only parents dealing with this type of situation.
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I have a 2 year old boy who dose the samething. I first noticed it when he was around 8 to 9 months but i didnt know that he was masterbating (masturbating). I realized he was mastebating about 5 months ago. i try to ignore it but its hard. know he hides to do it because i tell him to stop when i see him doing it.
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Read your own first paragraph. The subject of your question appears to be you, and not your daughter. Would you care about her behavior if it did not embarrass you?
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My 3 year old daughter does the rubbing thing on toys on the floor and even sometimes my leg if im laying on the floor. I asked her why she does it and she will get angry and say it feels good. She calls it pushing. She has no idea what she is doing is innappropriate. I am just waiting until she is a little older to explain that she should not do this in front of people. She is perfectly innocent about this. I found it strange but I think it is just a good feeling. I dont want to give her a complex by telling her she shouldn't do it.
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I agree with all but your your last sentence. I am not thinking of right or wrong, but rather the attention she will attract. And that could create a big problem. There are many ways to curb this habit without involving it's being "wrong." My technique would have been to say something like "Ladies don't do that in public," or, "It's not polite." You don't even have to explain why.
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of your not a doctor please and I say this in the nicest way, SHUT UP the people with no medical background please dnt comment, I am currently studying cold behavior and my aunt had been a childrens doctor for years, my niece nefyew and lil brother masturbate ages 2,3 and 5 it is perfectly normal. Must people that comment are scared of being embarrassed and are, brain washed by there religion smh, i've studied the test results of children who have been scaled and have not been scaled and trust me you dnt want your child Having the mental and emotional issues of the scaled ones... Keep reminding her what she does with herself should be fun in privet and only with herself, (that stopped the masturbating i'm public with my little brother niece and nefew). Teach her tu live her body, give her privacy and alone tym.
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Just as wisdom is not restricted by profession, neither is an understanding of children. Children are not aliens. They are the little people their parents once were. We have our own memories to fall back on. It should also be mentioned that child rearing varies somewhat from culture to culture, and with it, what is acceptable and unacceptable.
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This is a spiritual thing, not a natural thing and it is NOT normal!!! It might be accepted but it's not normal!! This is the spirit of masturbation attacking these kids and adults. This spirit is very very strong and there is only one way to get rid of it and that way if is found in Jesus the deliverer! If you are not a chistian, the first step would be genuinly accept Jesus as the Lord of your life and repent from your sins and turn from your evil ways...after that, you can take the same advide given to the christians! If you are a christian seek a good bible faithful church where they specialize in deliverance.Wish you all the best! God bless!
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This is a spiritual thing, not a natural thing and it is NOT normal!!! It might be accepted but it's not normal!! This is the spirit of masturbation attacking these kids and adults. This spirit is very very strong and there is only one way to get rid of it and that way if is found in Jesus the deliverer! If you are not a chistian, the first step would be genuinly accept Jesus as the Lord of your life and repent from your sins and turn from your evil ways...after that, you can take the same advide given to the christians! If you are a christian seek a good bible faithful church where they specialize in deliverance.Wish you all the best! God bless!
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I am very desturbed by some of the things people have commented to this! I did the same thing when I was little! I remember my family telling me it was wrong...but I didn't stop...it didn't mess with my sexuality! I am straight! Yes I believe I only did it because it felt good but then why else does anyone do it? Ur child will be just fine! Just try to keep here distracted while in public but let her go to her room or somewhere that she can be alone...
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It is for sure normal behavior. I am 23 yrs old and I've been pleasuring myself since I was 3 that I can remember. Never with my hands, but with stuffed animals or pillows. I was never molested or touched inappropriately by anyone ever in my life. I have no ADD or any other mental or physical problems. I figured this behavior out on my own probably accidental. Any repetitive motion against that area will create that sensation and as a child you don't even know it sexual, it's a new discovery that feels good. I do remember getting yelled at once for this behavior and I thought it was a bad and nasty thing. That did not stop me, because once you feel it even if by accident any NORMAL person would continue to do it. I just continued to do it secretly and still do it to this day. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a child doing this behavior as long as it's not viewed by anyone.
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My daughter, we're sure, started pointing at her pee-pee even before she turned two. However, lately (past 2 weeks) she mentioned our babysitter's husband name (my daughter is 2 and a half old and not yet fully verbal) and even today when we took her to the babysitter's house, she told us in front of the babysitter, "I don't like Victor", whose is the babysitter's husband's name.

I don't want to jump to conclusions but at the moment I felt enraged, and I felt like beating the hell out of that guy. However, I am not sure if our daughter started to make reference to her pee-pee around the time we started employing this babysitter or before... we're confused and worried though I read most of the posts, but I am still upset.... maybe the first thing to do be to take her to the pediatrician.
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Of course she assumes that, not that I have anything against those that travel off the beaten path personally but it is an unbalance chemical or otherwise that causes it, much like depression.. further there was a study done and it stated that over 95% of them were molested and likely the cause. Id hope my child was heterosexual too, much the same as I hoped she had ten toes, either way its ok and wont affect my love but you still sigh that breath of relief when you see em.

As for the study I cannot quote it off the top of my head but will try to find it for you, and again I have nothing against, nor is this post meant in a hateful manner, towards anyone.
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it's NOT okay if he or she does it behind closed doors because it starts to feel good and by the time she's 12 or so she'll become worse and wanting to have sick. You all make me sick. My 3 yr old does this and she gets into trouble each and every time and found out her uncle was touching her and making her and the dr said she has gotten so used to it where she can't stop and to smack her hands and let her no that that's a NO and you will get in trouble for that. Grow up ppl and take ur children and get them checked. When ur in the middle of making love ur too busy to be looking at the door who knows some of u ur child/children could have woken up and went to get u but seen u doing stuff and it made them want to do it to them self's grow up and get ur child/children CHECKED.
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http://www.babycenter.com/0_masturbation-why-it-happens-and-what-to-do-about-it_63674.bc
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I am that kid that did that when I was that same age I am now in my teens but I remember what started it.  It was the car seat but then when I also got punished I did it when I thought no one was looking and started holding my breath and so no one would hear me.  But I stopped around 4 doing it constantly.  Now I do it in private about 2 times a month or so.  And now I got curious to see if it was normal for a girl and I found this that sounds so much like me.  Plus I think it helps a girl from becoming sexually active early.  
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I am a in my late teens and I was that kid that did it and when I was punished I felt bad and now like someone else said I fell guilty about sex because someone made me feel really bad about myself. But now I have been an straight a student since 7 th grade and played and instrument to the extent I could.  Without any one telling me "do this, do that" I did it on my own and when I got older than 2 self control became one of my strengths but I still feel very bad about sex. so just encourage her to stop in public and do it in private.
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Can someone help me out ??? My daughter is now 2 years old... and since she was about a year and a half.... if shes in her buggy car seat anything enclosed she rotates her legs super fast like shes humping ? and zones out face gets all red and hot sometimes even grinds her teeth :S its just embarrassing because people stare ? and i wanna make sure shes ok like what is she doing :S even if shes held close to my body she will do it ....zones out and blocks everything out and just rotates her legs and clinches her fist onto something super tight :(
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Whatever your opinions are about masturbation, the point is, you need to teach her that if she is going to do this, she needs to do it in private. That's the main thing. We are all sexual creatures, even when we are unassuming children (not suggesting adults should take advantage of this, saying that all humans have sexuality, and often discover this, and the ability to give yourself pleasure, very young).

And FYI to everyone, you don't need to be molested to start masturbating. Intelligent creatures learn to do what makes them feel good.

The logic some have used about masturbation's relation to sexual abuse is like saying watching porn makes you a serial killer. We should have a lot more serial killers. Just because one thing can lead to another, it doesn't always.

You could try punishing her, but that will only work if you explain 'why' her behaviour is inappropriate. I used to masturbate all the time, I can't remember if my parents told me to do this in private but I know I eventually did. The key thing is not to make her feel ashamed for doing something MANY people do. All you need to do is tell her to do this in private and consistently tell her to do so when she starts masturbating in public.
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It's quite humorous that you feel that way, and that you would blame a completely normal human behavior with that of "ADD", "bipolar disorder", or "autism". It is completely ignorant for you to say that. I can remember masterbating (masturbating) from the time I was around 4-5. And it wasn't just every once in a while, it was a constant multiple times a day thing.  No one EVER touched me in any kind of way, I had no idea what sex was, and I DEFINITELY do not have any of the disorders you speak of. My mother was understanding and explained to me that it was completely normal and to only do that in my room.  I am now 20 years old and have never had any problems with my health, sexuality, relationships, or what have you. Humans are sexual beings. It is unfortunate that people like you try to write that off as being sick with an illness like "ADD". That's just crazy to me. This mother should not be so concerned with this. The child will eventually grow out of it and she will eventually understand more of what she is doing and why it is wrong to do in public. She's NOT sick just because she masterbates.
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can we share what u had please i got same problem with my kid
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this might be difficult for you to question but mabe she was touched at a family get together, if your 2 year old hasn't been touched by the people babysitting her then the only other option i can think of is another person in your family did somthing to her when u  weren't looking ........or someone was masterbating (masturbating) and your 2 year old was in the room and they didn't care to stop because they were peaking, also someone could have masterbated while touching her during play time and used her to get them to have an orgasm,.... my advice is to buy new clothes that can't B removed and thick enough that she can't feel anything against herself when she rubs on objects u should also talk to a psycologist about how to keep an eye out for signs these are a few i know and u can look for theses at family get togethers and other times,  diaper lowered after 10 minutes of use, pants falling down when they have to be adjusted for easy access to private parts, clothing un tucked when previously tucked,and direct disobedienc
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it is normal for children to masterbate around 7 years old till 14 years old, children around that age are just starting puberty around 11 years old, kids under 11 its just curiosity
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my friend had her daughter come stay with me and my kids for the week, her 3 year old was rubbing and humpin her hands and grunting i told her to stop right away. i have never encountered this kinda stuff before and i have four children. i believe if you let the child know right away thats a huge no no the  less of a problem here on out. It not good for a baby to play with their privites and its NOT normal. I just dont know what to say to my friend because i dont want to seem rude but really do not let children do that.


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Hi everyone -

This thread is closed.  

Thanks,

Emily

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This thread is CLOSED.  Please do not post to it.

Thanks,

Emily

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