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2-year-old masterbating

Hi,

I have a question pertaining to my 2-year-old and her habit of masterbating.  This is so embarrassing for me and my husband.

Ever since she was around a year old (a little younger maybe, too) she has been...uh...how to say this...doing various things in order to feel a certain something *down there*. At first, we noticed she was pushing and rubbing against the thing that goes between the legs on the highchair. She would get herself going (pushing and rubbing) so much that she'd break out in a sweat, breathe heavily, and then at the end look like she was completely tired out (much like we all do after a romp in the hay). It was so embarrasing if we were with any friends or family.

As time went on, she was doing the same thing in her carseat against the part that goes between her legs. We've taken her out of the highchair, but she still finds ways to do this. She'll sit on the steps or on one of the small kid size chairs we have and squeeze her legs together while pointing her toes, and just move her hips up and down until she gets what she wants. Thank goodness she hasn't figured out she can do the same thing with her hands.

I can tell you that she has never been in a situation where anyone has touched her inappropriately. The only babysitters she has ever had are my parents and I know they haven't done anything. Her father and I are just mortified (especially him) and don't know what to do. We've scolded her for it and she just gets mad and screams and then goes back to doing it once we quit watching her. I thought maybe it was a stress reliever for her, but now I'm noticing that she's doing it at any time of the day...stressed or not.

Has anyone here had experience with something like this? I've researched and can't really find info on what to do with a 2 year old. She doesn't exactly understand me saying to only do this in her room when alone (like I've read in other advice given). I don't want to punish her and give her a complex about her sexuality for later when it's appropriate (with her future husband).

What would you do in this situation??? Help! We're even hesitant to put her in the church nursery for fear she might do this there!
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707563 tn?1626361905
This thread is CLOSED.  Please do not post to it.

Thanks,

Emily

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707563 tn?1626361905
Hi everyone -

This thread is closed.  

Thanks,

Emily

****************************** CLOSED THREAD  **************************
                               NO MORE POSTS, PLEASE
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Avatar universal
my friend had her daughter come stay with me and my kids for the week, her 3 year old was rubbing and humpin her hands and grunting i told her to stop right away. i have never encountered this kinda stuff before and i have four children. i believe if you let the child know right away thats a huge no no the  less of a problem here on out. It not good for a baby to play with their privites and its NOT normal. I just dont know what to say to my friend because i dont want to seem rude but really do not let children do that.


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Avatar universal
it is normal for children to masterbate around 7 years old till 14 years old, children around that age are just starting puberty around 11 years old, kids under 11 its just curiosity
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Avatar universal
this might be difficult for you to question but mabe she was touched at a family get together, if your 2 year old hasn't been touched by the people babysitting her then the only other option i can think of is another person in your family did somthing to her when u  weren't looking ........or someone was masterbating and your 2 year old was in the room and they didn't care to stop because they were peaking, also someone could have masterbated while touching her during play time and used her to get them to have an orgasm,.... my advice is to buy new clothes that can't B removed and thick enough that she can't feel anything against herself when she rubs on objects u should also talk to a psycologist about how to keep an eye out for signs these are a few i know and u can look for theses at family get togethers and other times,  diaper lowered after 10 minutes of use, pants falling down when they have to be adjusted for easy access to private parts, clothing un tucked when previously tucked,and direct disobedienc
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Avatar universal
can we share what u had please i got same problem with my kid
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Avatar universal
It's quite humorous that you feel that way, and that you would blame a completely normal human behavior with that of "ADD", "bipolar disorder", or "autism". It is completely ignorant for you to say that. I can remember masterbating from the time I was around 4-5. And it wasn't just every once in a while, it was a constant multiple times a day thing.  No one EVER touched me in any kind of way, I had no idea what sex was, and I DEFINITELY do not have any of the disorders you speak of. My mother was understanding and explained to me that it was completely normal and to only do that in my room.  I am now 20 years old and have never had any problems with my health, sexuality, relationships, or what have you. Humans are sexual beings. It is unfortunate that people like you try to write that off as being sick with an illness like "ADD". That's just crazy to me. This mother should not be so concerned with this. The child will eventually grow out of it and she will eventually understand more of what she is doing and why it is wrong to do in public. She's NOT sick just because she masterbates.
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Avatar universal
Whatever your opinions are about masturbation, the point is, you need to teach her that if she is going to do this, she needs to do it in private. That's the main thing. We are all sexual creatures, even when we are unassuming children (not suggesting adults should take advantage of this, saying that all humans have sexuality, and often discover this, and the ability to give yourself pleasure, very young).

And FYI to everyone, you don't need to be molested to start masturbating. Intelligent creatures learn to do what makes them feel good.

The logic some have used about masturbation's relation to sexual abuse is like saying watching porn makes you a serial killer. We should have a lot more serial killers. Just because one thing can lead to another, it doesn't always.

You could try punishing her, but that will only work if you explain 'why' her behaviour is inappropriate. I used to masturbate all the time, I can't remember if my parents told me to do this in private but I know I eventually did. The key thing is not to make her feel ashamed for doing something MANY people do. All you need to do is tell her to do this in private and consistently tell her to do so when she starts masturbating in public.
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Avatar universal
Can someone help me out ??? My daughter is now 2 years old... and since she was about a year and a half.... if shes in her buggy car seat anything enclosed she rotates her legs super fast like shes humping ? and zones out face gets all red and hot sometimes even grinds her teeth :S its just embarrassing because people stare ? and i wanna make sure shes ok like what is she doing :S even if shes held close to my body she will do it ....zones out and blocks everything out and just rotates her legs and clinches her fist onto something super tight :(
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Avatar universal
I am a in my late teens and I was that kid that did it and when I was punished I felt bad and now like someone else said I fell guilty about sex because someone made me feel really bad about myself. But now I have been an straight a student since 7 th grade and played and instrument to the extent I could.  Without any one telling me "do this, do that" I did it on my own and when I got older than 2 self control became one of my strengths but I still feel very bad about sex. so just encourage her to stop in public and do it in private.
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Avatar universal
I am that kid that did that when I was that same age I am now in my teens but I remember what started it.  It was the car seat but then when I also got punished I did it when I thought no one was looking and started holding my breath and so no one would hear me.  But I stopped around 4 doing it constantly.  Now I do it in private about 2 times a month or so.  And now I got curious to see if it was normal for a girl and I found this that sounds so much like me.  Plus I think it helps a girl from becoming sexually active early.  
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Avatar universal
http://www.babycenter.com/0_masturbation-why-it-happens-and-what-to-do-about-it_63674.bc
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Avatar universal
it's NOT okay if he or she does it behind closed doors because it starts to feel good and by the time she's 12 or so she'll become worse and wanting to have sick. You all make me sick. My 3 yr old does this and she gets into trouble each and every time and found out her uncle was touching her and making her and the dr said she has gotten so used to it where she can't stop and to smack her hands and let her no that that's a NO and you will get in trouble for that. Grow up ppl and take ur children and get them checked. When ur in the middle of making love ur too busy to be looking at the door who knows some of u ur child/children could have woken up and went to get u but seen u doing stuff and it made them want to do it to them self's grow up and get ur child/children CHECKED.
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Avatar universal
LJQ
Of course she assumes that, not that I have anything against those that travel off the beaten path personally but it is an unbalance chemical or otherwise that causes it, much like depression.. further there was a study done and it stated that over 95% of them were molested and likely the cause. Id hope my child was heterosexual too, much the same as I hoped she had ten toes, either way its ok and wont affect my love but you still sigh that breath of relief when you see em.

As for the study I cannot quote it off the top of my head but will try to find it for you, and again I have nothing against, nor is this post meant in a hateful manner, towards anyone.
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Avatar universal
My daughter, we're sure, started pointing at her pee-pee even before she turned two. However, lately (past 2 weeks) she mentioned our babysitter's husband name (my daughter is 2 and a half old and not yet fully verbal) and even today when we took her to the babysitter's house, she told us in front of the babysitter, "I don't like Victor", whose is the babysitter's husband's name.

I don't want to jump to conclusions but at the moment I felt enraged, and I felt like beating the hell out of that guy. However, I am not sure if our daughter started to make reference to her pee-pee around the time we started employing this babysitter or before... we're confused and worried though I read most of the posts, but I am still upset.... maybe the first thing to do be to take her to the pediatrician.
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Avatar universal
It is for sure normal behavior. I am 23 yrs old and I've been pleasuring myself since I was 3 that I can remember. Never with my hands, but with stuffed animals or pillows. I was never molested or touched inappropriately by anyone ever in my life. I have no ADD or any other mental or physical problems. I figured this behavior out on my own probably accidental. Any repetitive motion against that area will create that sensation and as a child you don't even know it sexual, it's a new discovery that feels good. I do remember getting yelled at once for this behavior and I thought it was a bad and nasty thing. That did not stop me, because once you feel it even if by accident any NORMAL person would continue to do it. I just continued to do it secretly and still do it to this day. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a child doing this behavior as long as it's not viewed by anyone.
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Avatar universal
I am very desturbed by some of the things people have commented to this! I did the same thing when I was little! I remember my family telling me it was wrong...but I didn't stop...it didn't mess with my sexuality! I am straight! Yes I believe I only did it because it felt good but then why else does anyone do it? Ur child will be just fine! Just try to keep here distracted while in public but let her go to her room or somewhere that she can be alone...
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Avatar universal
N77
This is a spiritual thing, not a natural thing and it is NOT normal!!! It might be accepted but it's not normal!! This is the spirit of masturbation attacking these kids and adults. This spirit is very very strong and there is only one way to get rid of it and that way if is found in Jesus the deliverer! If you are not a chistian, the first step would be genuinly accept Jesus as the Lord of your life and repent from your sins and turn from your evil ways...after that, you can take the same advide given to the christians! If you are a christian seek a good bible faithful church where they specialize in deliverance.Wish you all the best! God bless!
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Avatar universal
N77
This is a spiritual thing, not a natural thing and it is NOT normal!!! It might be accepted but it's not normal!! This is the spirit of masturbation attacking these kids and adults. This spirit is very very strong and there is only one way to get rid of it and that way if is found in Jesus the deliverer! If you are not a chistian, the first step would be genuinly accept Jesus as the Lord of your life and repent from your sins and turn from your evil ways...after that, you can take the same advide given to the christians! If you are a christian seek a good bible faithful church where they specialize in deliverance.Wish you all the best! God bless!
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757137 tn?1347196453
Just as wisdom is not restricted by profession, neither is an understanding of children. Children are not aliens. They are the little people their parents once were. We have our own memories to fall back on. It should also be mentioned that child rearing varies somewhat from culture to culture, and with it, what is acceptable and unacceptable.
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Avatar universal
of your not a doctor please and I say this in the nicest way, SHUT UP the people with no medical background please dnt comment, I am currently studying cold behavior and my aunt had been a childrens doctor for years, my niece nefyew and lil brother masturbate ages 2,3 and 5 it is perfectly normal. Must people that comment are scared of being embarrassed and are, brain washed by there religion smh, i've studied the test results of children who have been scaled and have not been scaled and trust me you dnt want your child Having the mental and emotional issues of the scaled ones... Keep reminding her what she does with herself should be fun in privet and only with herself, (that stopped the masturbating i'm public with my little brother niece and nefew). Teach her tu live her body, give her privacy and alone tym.
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757137 tn?1347196453
I agree with all but your your last sentence. I am not thinking of right or wrong, but rather the attention she will attract. And that could create a big problem. There are many ways to curb this habit without involving it's being "wrong." My technique would have been to say something like "Ladies don't do that in public," or, "It's not polite." You don't even have to explain why.
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Avatar universal
My 3 year old daughter does the rubbing thing on toys on the floor and even sometimes my leg if im laying on the floor. I asked her why she does it and she will get angry and say it feels good. She calls it pushing. She has no idea what she is doing is innappropriate. I am just waiting until she is a little older to explain that she should not do this in front of people. She is perfectly innocent about this. I found it strange but I think it is just a good feeling. I dont want to give her a complex by telling her she shouldn't do it.
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757137 tn?1347196453
Read your own first paragraph. The subject of your question appears to be you, and not your daughter. Would you care about her behavior if it did not embarrass you?
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