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2-year-old masterbating

Hi,

I have a question pertaining to my 2-year-old and her habit of masterbating.  This is so embarrassing for me and my husband.

Ever since she was around a year old (a little younger maybe, too) she has been...uh...how to say this...doing various things in order to feel a certain something *down there*. At first, we noticed she was pushing and rubbing against the thing that goes between the legs on the highchair. She would get herself going (pushing and rubbing) so much that she'd break out in a sweat, breathe heavily, and then at the end look like she was completely tired out (much like we all do after a romp in the hay). It was so embarrasing if we were with any friends or family.

As time went on, she was doing the same thing in her carseat against the part that goes between her legs. We've taken her out of the highchair, but she still finds ways to do this. She'll sit on the steps or on one of the small kid size chairs we have and squeeze her legs together while pointing her toes, and just move her hips up and down until she gets what she wants. Thank goodness she hasn't figured out she can do the same thing with her hands.

I can tell you that she has never been in a situation where anyone has touched her inappropriately. The only babysitters she has ever had are my parents and I know they haven't done anything. Her father and I are just mortified (especially him) and don't know what to do. We've scolded her for it and she just gets mad and screams and then goes back to doing it once we quit watching her. I thought maybe it was a stress reliever for her, but now I'm noticing that she's doing it at any time of the day...stressed or not.

Has anyone here had experience with something like this? I've researched and can't really find info on what to do with a 2 year old. She doesn't exactly understand me saying to only do this in her room when alone (like I've read in other advice given). I don't want to punish her and give her a complex about her sexuality for later when it's appropriate (with her future husband).

What would you do in this situation??? Help! We're even hesitant to put her in the church nursery for fear she might do this there!
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Avatar universal
I have a 2 year old boy who dose the samething. I first noticed it when he was around 8 to 9 months but i didnt know that he was masterbating. I realized he was mastebating about 5 months ago. i try to ignore it but its hard. know he hides to do it because i tell him to stop when i see him doing it.
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Avatar universal
I can completely relate to the question u asked about your 2 yr. old daughter because my 2 yr. old daughter is doing the same exact thing. And much like you had mentioned i'm finding information on children using their hands to explore themselves but Im not finding anything on children using other means like ours are. The only thing we do with our daughter is let her know when she's doing it in front of us or others that it needs to stop. We don't yell or get angry with her but we try to find ways to occupy her so she doesn't continue doing it. There have been times we have walked the other way and ignored it but it still doesn't make it any easier to deal with. As much as i don't like this little matter, it's helpful to know we're not the only parents dealing with this type of situation.
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Avatar universal
Pretty much all has been said already. I will still add my story to this. xD

I do not remember when i began masterbating... Oh wait! i began around 11 or 12 i think. Before that, i was just.. having fun... Making myself feel good. I didn't know what it was before my best friend of that time told me it was called that way. To me and before that moment, i never thought it was sexual or anything like that.

I had never seen my parents do it, or at least don't remember anything sex-related. My parents never began to be parents. At a very young age, my dad would use his strict and serious voice to make us understand and said: "Your body is yours only. NO ONE can touch it if you don't want them to. It's YOURS only." and they would let us know stuff like: "it takes a man and a woman to get a baby"... but guess what... until i think 8 years old, i thought you had to "talk" with the person and then a baby would apear... but that was just how delirious my imagination has always been.

Yes, a few times i heard a noise in the hallway at night and would turn my head to see what it was... my dad going to bathroom naked... okay... now what? yes, i already saw my bro naked in a bath... so what again? yes, i saw how to change a baby young... so what? yes, me and my "best boy friend" of my childhood would show each other how we are... and so what again?

Back to masterbation, yes, i had been trying things young... My parents would tell me not to, seriously. They wouldn't scold me or anything... Yes, they've seen me on the water jet of the pool... "oups"... told me not to. Figured: i have to do this when they don't see me do it. And that's how i figured it was something to do in private. They didn't tell me anything about it before long... Still... i am not diffrent than anyone else now a day...

I would do it once a day, before sleeping... or twice... in the bath... or while playing in my room sometimes... but i wouldn't do it in public and i've never had problems with it. Later on, yes, i would rarely not do it for more than 1 or 2 days... But i've been put to the test, a challenge... yes, i can "quit" for a full month, without even "thinking" about anything related... ( okay, it was a pain... but hey, how many 20-35 years old woman does it less than once a month or even week? being 17-18 and having discovered something else than a right hand, well... i think i am pretty normal... -.-' )

I am not sex addict, not sad or desillusionnate about sex, love or romance.

Doing it as a child it just a way to... fill time or get some weird and yet comfortable feelings...

Other than that, i have read here about someone sayign it could be related to some "syndroms (syndromes), possibly Asperger's, Bi-Polar, Autism, ADD" ... well... i haven't been diagnosticated with any of these... not even thought to have any of these, even though i show a lot of similarities with Asperger's. Related fact? maybe... i don't know... but maybe not...

Even so... i am a college student for the second year as a 18 years old girl, performing a lot in about anything ( but for looking people in the eyes or dancing... or understanding guy's psycology... i can't do any of these... xD same goes for cooking eggs... no patience for it!!)

Nothing is wrong with any child unlest the parent is... Understand yourself and remember how you were a child, how you used to think... and understand your child... And remember that they are before being a child, human beings, in every aspect of humanity.

=]

=]
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I was never sexually abused and I started masturbating around 3 or 4! It was pleasurable and I wanted to do it all the time! My grandma caught me once and told me she was gonna tell my daddy if she seen me doing it again from then on I made sure no one was around and I didn't talk to anyone about it. I never stopped and Around the time I was 14 my mother had a talk with me about masterbating instead of having sex. I still remember my grandmas reaction so I told my mom that was gross! I grew up to be perfectly normal! I've only had sex with my husband but I am very uncomfortable touching myself when we are in the bedroom thanks to grandma! I don't have children yet but when I do if I catch them masterbating I will not punish them for it instead I will teach them it's a private thing and when they get older I will explain it the same way I will explain sex!
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Avatar universal
Children exploring there private parts are normal and there are a lot more kids that only explore there private parts then those that actually masturbate. That is one of the reasons parents are so embarrassed. The first thing I would do if my son did this at such a young age is immediately take him to his pediatric doctor. Explain what I am witnessing so they can make sure my child has NOT been abused in a sexual way. Then he or she can assist is a good plan of action for your child and family. to be on the safe side. Not all children that masturbate have been abused in this way however, i would rule it out of the scenario...The next thing I would do is to explain that masturbation is to be done in PRIVATE. She needs to learn this RULE just like you would poop on the floor in school or church whenever you felt like going. There is a private room and time for this. That should be implemented like any other privacy things we all do.  The other thing is to never get angry or yell at her because this will only make her defiant and not listen to the rules while she is doing this. Sexuality is a beautiful thing and when a child of this age is exploring deeper than the average child there has to be rules no matter what. there are rules for everything in a home, including this if necessary. She I am sure is going to break out of this stage eventually, however you really need to as a parent to set guidelines for her when she can and cannot do this. It is not appropriate for anyone to do this in public or in front of a social group such as school or church. Adults get arrested for doing this in public therefore, setting boundaries now while she is young and helping her and supporting her through her sexuality is what needs to happen.   I am not saying there is anything wrong with masturbating. It is a normal human reaction..But it is wrong to do it in public and because she is a child it is more acceptable but rules, rules rules have to be implemented like any other behavior that is not socially acceptable. Good luck
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Avatar universal
Oh thank goodness to hear it's normal.. I'm a first time mom, and my daughter too started "humping" just on the floor when she was about 6 months old and is 2-1/2 now and still does it.. she started mainly when she would be sleepy..  That was usually our cue for us to lay her down for a nap.. Now, I don't think she does it just when she's sleepy, but also when she's bored, however, I'll peak in on her shortly after we lay her down for he nap, and she's **** it..  I'm so glad it stops, because she has done it at least once that I know of at church.  It was last year, she near her bed time, she dropped to the floor and just started... I was terrified and thought.. "We can't ever go back to church" haha...Anyway.. Thanks for all the posts, makes me feel a lot better.  I only am on here because I saw her doing it again.... typing this now as she gets busy LOL Anway.,. I hope some of you can find comfort in knowing she's normal!  Take care cand God Bless!
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