2 year old wakes up 4-5 times a night

[hbake]

My bf's not quite 3 year old wakes up 4-5 times a night crying and and if he doesn't go to his room, he screams hysterically until he does.  He went to a sleep specialist who told him to move him to our bed and then gradually move him out over several days.  This seems a little crazy to me since the point is to get him to sleep on his own in his own bed and he's never slept with us in the first place.  He slept with a bottle until about 5 months ago so he's never really learned to soothe himself to sleep.  Any advice?

[margypops]

oh I am so glad you told me that I was imagining him away from each parent for 6 months at a time ...how does he get on with your children does he play well with them .it could be he misses his mom 2 year old is a vunerable age ,they do get seperation anxiety its rather a muddle for children dont you think ..I agree with you about him coming into your bed and once you start that it will become a habit for him it sounds as if he has or is getting mixed messages from both sides ..

[hbake]

Sorry was not clear on what half the time meant.  He is with one parent for 5 days a week and the other 2 days and then they alternate each week.  So one parent has him more one week and then the other the next.  I have the same set up with my children.  He says the other children had the same problem even before they were divorced so just not sure what to do to help the little guy.

[margypops]

it is very hard on a 2 year old to be taken from his mom and indeed his Dad every 6 months I am not surprised he is waking yelling,he is unhappy, it is too long with both parents, it should be divided up to accomodate the child better not the parents ,almost all week with Mom, long weekends with Dad every other week.At 2 year old they have seperation anxiety , imagine how he must feel, walk in his shoes ...  

[hbake]

Sorry should have probably been more clear what half the time means.  He splits time during the week.  One week 5 days and one week 2 days alternating.

[hbake]

He spends half the time with his mom and half with dad but he does the same thing with mom.  The only difference is that at one time she used to let him come in to her bed when he would get up.  He has two daughters and said they were the same but all three also slept with a bottle until about 2 1/2 so may just be they never learned to soothe themselves to sleep.  he took the bottle away about 4 months ago though and still wakes a lot.

[lildebs]

Excellent question!

[margypops]

May I ask if he sees his mom and how long he has been away from her? .

[jewell1117]

My 2 1/2 year old has the same problem..My husband and I have taken shifts sleeping w/ her since she was around 9 mos. old.  Some doctors think that it's just extreme night terrors.  She did see a neurologist to rule out seizures.  The latest is they thought her enlarged tonsils and adnoids were causing her to have apnea.  We had them removed last monday.  No improvement as of yet but theres still a lot of swelling.  And so we wait in hopes this will get better.  Good luck to you..I know how hard this is on you and your entire family.

[lil_sweet_thang]

i think its a bad idea to let him go to sleep in ur bed its a hard habbit to break and the kid will end up expecting to sleep with u not to mention if he goes to sleep 1 place and wakes up in another it could scare him i would make sure the kid gets enough exercise in the afternoon and no caffiene or sugar after dinner a glass of milk and a warm bath could help too also some kids sleep better with a night light or back ground noise i leave a light on for my boys and a radio verry low will make the child feel like he is not alone also it can help to ask him why he is scared when he wakes up u can take a flash light in the bed room and ask him to point it at whatever is scary that way he has to see it in the light

[lildebs]

It helps to have a night time routine. Make sure they eat a full dinner no sweets after a certain time. Possibly even a bath right before bed.

Also, cut sources of caffeine out of their diet. Chocolate included.

But I think the sleep Dr also had a good suggestion. It is comforting to them to fall asleep with their parent so either Daddy can put him to bed every night and leave after he falls to sleep or he can let him lie in your bed until he falls to sleep and move him to his own room.