2 yr old dd and social situations

I'm wondering if anyone can give me advice about my dd.  She is about to turn 2 yrs old and when we are in a social situation particularly one with other children such as a playgroup she is not social in fact sometimes she will come to me and say "home, home".  I know lots of kids at this age don't play together, they will parallel play but when I talk to her before we go and say "we're going to go and play with your friends now" she'll say no, no, no.  If we do go she'll usually play by herself and if other kids come to her sometimes she'll say no (but not always).  I'm kind of wondering if there is more going on here other than just typical toddler shyness?  Sometimes at playgroup she will become comfortable and then not want to leave.  I've been worrying about this for a while now and plan on asking her pediatrian when she has her 2 yr well check appt. but was wondering if anyone out there can give me some reassurance with stories of thier own toddlers.  Any support would be appreciated!

[Chrissylynn324]

i have a two and a three year old and they have been going through the same thing. If you havent ever had her in day care or around children for an extended peroid of time then this is from what i understand, completely normal. I was worried about my children in january when i had to put them in daycare for the first time. they would seclude themselves, cry, and generally worry me when i would try to leave them. from what the pedi told me it is because it is a new environment and not being around children in the past has caused some anxiety because they do not have the social skills yet. He did however tell me that it is completely normal and to continue to take them that they would adjust. it is 3 months later and they are finally beginning to have some interest in the children and learning how to be in a social setting... give her some time, she will be just fine.. she just has to learn how to interact. good luck =-)

[nwmom]

Thanks for the advice!  It seems like most times she gets pretty comfortable after were there for a while but it definitely takes her a lot longer than all of the other kids.  Come to think of it, a lot of the kids in our playgroup were all in daycare at some point.  So your probably right, their used to being around all of the kids.  Thanks again!  

[Christy H]

It sounds like to me that your daughter is having some seperation anxiety and at her age is completely normal. What should make you feel better is that she knows that you are a safe place so to speak and that a child will only want to be around someone that makes them feel safe. Once she begins to feel comfortable in new situations you will see her exploring her environment and then every so often coming back to you to "check in" as were. Having a strong and healthy relationship that you have with your daughter will allow her to succeed in other areas. Keep up the good work! Let me know how things progress.
Christy;)

[boosty]

my daughter is two. your problem sounds normal to me. my daughter plays fine, but mostly plays by herself. as i like to say "that too shall pass"

[Hazel30]

My son is now 27 months and right around when he turned 2 he did the same thing.  He is not yet in preschool so I think its just a social anxiety.  Now 3 months later he is doing great.  Im sure in a few months this will pass.

[shawnys_grl]

My son went though the same thing.  Once he got older, he actually wanted to play with other kids, but didn't know how.  One time we were at a park when he was around 3, there were only 2 other kids there.  One was around his age and the other was a couple years older.  I encouraged him to ask them if they wanted to play, but he didn't know how.  I hept going over and standing by them, but just didn't know aht to say.  I coached him along, but he still had trouble.  It really made me cry.  

Now, he's 5.  He's the most social child I have ever seen.  He's the typical child that'll tell anybody everything.  There have been many times I've had to tell him what he can and can't say to people he doesn't know. lol   So, yes, there is hope.