2 yr old rage

All I am desperate to find out is - is it normal for a two year old boy to go into a rage when he gets mad about something? He has always been difficult -- as far as crying a lot and always needing to be held as an infant. Last night he got upset about something - screamed at the top of his lungs over and over again. He then went into our entry room and threw over the basket that w keep our shoes in and tipped over two laundry baskets full of clean clothes. He then grabbed the sweeper and threw it on the ground. He has these fits of rage a couple of times a week. My 4 yr old daughter never threw fits like this. Is this normal behavior for a two year old boy (terrible twos) or is it something more? Hel!

[April2]

I've always heard that most families have at least one complient child and one strong-willed child. It sounds like you have one of each! He reacts differently from his sister because he has a different personality than her. I have one of each too. My oldest son was more cautious and quiet, my daughter was the exact opposite and constantly on the go, fearless (she's broken two bones and had stiches in her chin!). She also would throw the worst tantrums ever. There is hope that it gets better as they get older and learn better self-control. And strong-willed children make great leaders someday if you can stear them down the right path. It's going to take a lot of patience! You want to stop the bad behavior without crushing their spirit! You have to try and be consistent with his schedule and discipline. Make sure he's getting enough sleep and good nutrition. Make sure you notice and praise his good behavior so that he's not just getting attention for bad behavior. Watch for signals that he's about to have a melt-down and then try and step in quickly to divert his attention. Give him little jobs that will make him feel important and proud (my just turned three year old loves to help me with the laundry. He likes to put the clothes in and turn on the washer and dryer. He also likes to help me unload the dishwasher. He hands me the dishes.) Most importantly, try very hard to remain calm at all times. Children learn best by example. If you lose control, then he thinks that's normal. Try and keep him busy and occupied so that he doesn't get bored. Keep working at it! It takes time and patience. My daughter is now a teenager and even though she still has a temper, she at least outgrew the tantrums! So there is hope! Hang in there. I wish you the best.

[SNUGS28]

Thank you -- I just wasnt sure if this could be considered "normal" at two or not. He never hurts his sister. He doesnt really hit. Once in a while in a tantrum he will grab a hold of us and try to move us (if we are blocking him from a room where he shouldnt be). Thank you. I feel less stressed. I hope we are raising our kids right and I do hope that they both can be great leaders someday! Thanks again!

[mommy2lyssa&caleb]

You're not alone! My daughter was a tough baby, always needed to be held and quick to tell you who's boss since she could say "no."  She even learned how to stiffen up her body at 4 months old so I couldn't get her in her carseat.  Stong-willed to the max, and loud!  But I see her being one hell of a CEO one day....just it's not to fun for us moms.  My son is completely opposite, compliant (as much as a 2 year old can be) but I can see him being a couch potato (a cute one though.)

Anyways, recently I went to a psychologist and she suggested maybe my daughter gets over-stimulated easily, say in stores or in situations she feels is out of her control, but can't really tell me because of her age.  She suggested the same as April2, watch for signals and divert, to avoid the meltdown.  I've found that speaking to her in a positive way instead of always telling her not to do something works for her.  It's more cognitive work to say "let's use your good listening skills" as opposed to "your not listening!"  But seems to work sometimes.  She also suggested modeling, which may be a little young for your son, but in  a situation that he could see you getting mad, pretend to be mad and engage him and ask "should mommy yell or should mommy clean up the milk she spilled?"  Like I said maybe a little older for him, I don't think my 2 year old son would answer me.  But it's an idea for later.

Good luck and know you're not alone!!!