2 yr.old w/Mommy in Hospital

My daughter has two sons - one is 2-1/2, the other 15 months.
She recently had major surgery & with complications ended up back in the hospital and still there currently. We've had problems with both boys - missing Mommy, angry with Mommy. Lots of crying. Neither one will go anywhere near her (lots of tubes & machines). We know this is a normal reaction.  However, the 2 year old has now reached the point of calling her only by her first name. He says that his Mommy has 'died' (where this has come from or that he has a concept of what death is, is unknown to us at this time). He has also become very aggressive at daycare - fighting, spitting at the teachers, etc...  When asked why, he just replies, "I supposed to".  Our question:  How do we deal with this and help him to get over this?  "Mommy" will eventually  have a full and complete recovery.  But she is worried about bouncing her boys back to normal.
Please advise.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

The children's lives have been turned upside down, and the unsettledness is reflected in their upset. All you can do at their ages is provide as much stability and affection and support as you can. As their mother resumes more normal appearance and functioning, they too will re-achieve the stability they formerly displayed.

Try to avoid, if you can, many comings and goings in their lives, and try to limit the number of people who are caring for them. The fewer transitions right now the better.