20 mth old

i am a first time mom and i have a 20mth old son. i'm not quite sure what to do. he has the worse temper. he doesnt listen when we tell him not to do things, instead it makes him want to do it even more. when we bop his hand for it he has a tantrum and does things like most recently knocking a glass of water over and then looking at his father and i with a "oh yeah" look on his face. i tried the 3 swat on the butt, doesnt work and i dont like spanking. i tried time out, he screams bloody murder the whole time and makes me feel terrible. i would love some advise from some experienced mom's out there. people are starting to look at me like he's out of control and sometimes i agree. i don't cave into everthing he wants, never had. i know kids go through things but how can i show him i'm the boss not him?  thank you

[ksanden]

terrible 2's my step son is in the same boat not fun at all im haveing problems myself nothing seems to work. when he throws himself down i walk away and not notice him he then relizes he doesnt get my attention then he hits and bites my daughter and then i put him in time out doesnt see to work. its cute i say time out he walks to the corner and points his hand like i would be doing it lol. boys are so much harder as girls my daughter was so much easier i dotn no what to tell u i myslef are having the same problem.
ksanden

[ksanden]

[Renada]

when you learn the secret let me know and i'll do the same..LOL! hang in there.

PS:alot of people have said that girls are easier than boys. praying for a girl next time!!

[Jenn14]

I'm in your boat too! (24mo. old) Not fun. I was advised by a parent today to leave the room when the tantrum starts, not too excited to try the advice but what other options do I have left.....I have high expectations for my sons behavior and have never let him run the house as it sounds like your situation, and thought the terrible twos wouldn't be the same for me because I was taught how to deal with these kinds of behavior issues, after all my mom runs a daycare and kids mind at her house with consistant time outs for bad behavior. I have consistantly diciplined my child with near textbook style guidelines and feel as if I am failing.  I have now learned that no matter how hard you try success with your childs behavior is not to be had by all, and I must be one of them that gets to deal with the difficult child! So, I guess I'll try leaving the room, not sure what else I can do? Hopefully this will be the one thing that works for mine and hopefully yours too! Good luck, and just know others are shedding those tears with us, it doesn't mean we're bad moms!

[resinedtolife]

Hi all i'm a mam of 4 grown up children and work in a creche as a childcare worker. Although these tantrums are typical of children of this age group it is very distressing to all parents. I agree with the suggestion of leaving the room when the child is having a tantrum it worked for me with my daughter when she was 3 when she started i brought her into the kitchen and told her she was staying there until she stopped and then left the room, it was hard going and i have to say i cried my fill but i persevered and eventually the tantrums stopped. I'm not sure if time out works so well as i think they don't understand what it is at this age but we use it in our work place as it is the only form of discipline we can use. The only thing i can say is that we all know our children better than anyone else and will finally figure out what works best for them.

Good luck mams and keep up the good work