22mth old with obvious problems

[debbie]

I have a problem,  my brothers son is 22 months old and he is very delayed.  He doesnt talk at all only babbles,  he doesnt communicate with his eyes.  He is so active you can not even sit down for a sec.  He will eat anything he finds on the ground.  He has no fear or care about jumping off anything, doesnt care when he gets hurt,  he just keeps going like the crazy.  He crys if you try to hold him.  He doesnt like to be stopped and he takes wicked tantrums,  he has started head butting his mom when she trys to stop him from doing something and also smacking her.  It is their first child I am positive that something is wrong with him and I know early intervention is important but how do I tell them without hurting them and making them hate me.  Something is not right with this child.  He is a very healthy good size boy, physically he looks fine but mentally something is missing.  Thank you

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Debbie,

Sometimes when we perceive a problem in someone we love, we risk incurring the displeasure of relatives if we broach the subject. However, often our fears about this are disproportionate to the reality. If you express your concern in a gentle, supportive and caring fashion, that's all that can be expected. It may well be that your nephew is displaying a developmental disorder, and he should probably be examined by a developmental pediatrician or a team of developmental clinicians. Of course the logical place to start would be with his own pediatrician.

[Jeri]

Tell your brother that there are wonderful programs for early screening of kids with such behaviors.  My son had similar reactions, he would repeat circular sentances, open and shut doors, and stair at the ceiling fan, scream when in public.  Thanks to our local health department, we have found that our son has sensory integration dysfuction.  This means the messages his senses send him are not what "normally integrated" people receive.  Through occupational therapy we can give our son the kinds of sensory info his brain craves and in return he becomes able to handle the world better.  The tactile defensiveness(not wanting to be touched, being prickly)  is the hardest thing for a parent to adjust to.  OT helps him to be less defensive.

I suggest the following book, "The Out of Sync Child".  This will help you when put in situations with that child.  My mom thought mine was spoiled and undiciplined, needed a swat on the behind.  That would have made the defensiveness much worse.  Thank God I have other relatives in the therapy arena, or my beautiful cherub faced blue eyed doll might have endured a miserable childhood and suffered severe emotional and mental tramas.  If you love your brother, take the chance.  Besides, Occupational therapy is more like really cool playtime.

Jeri

[debbie]

thank you so much for your information