2.5 year old refusing sleep and waking all night

[stalliskjb]

I have a 2.5 year old daughter.  We have a regimented bedtime routine. Bath, brush teeth, Pj's and two books.  At which time we say it is time for bed and she throws a tantrum which we have settled by rocking her for almost a hour.  Many times, I will start to get up from the chair and she'll say No! If I continue taking her to her room she starts screaming. So back to the rocker for 10-30 minutes.
   She will then wake 2-3 times at night and need the rocking again.  Last night she had a tantrum that lasted over 1 hour in the middle of the night
   Nap time is the same - as soon as it is even discussed she starts making demands , that we do not meet- cookie - books - play outside, which turns into crying and screaming  We end up rocking her again for 20-45 minutes.

If we do not go to her in the middle of the night, the crying becomes screaming.   She has all her molars and no medical condition that would prevent her from sleeping .

Please any suggetions?  (we have another baby due in Jan)
Thank you.

[stalliskjb]

Please see additional info for guidance

[stalliskjb]

Thank you Dr.K.  I knew this was the inevidable, but needed some reassurance that we infact need to be ready for some long nights ahead.   When she does cry and refuse sleep once the rocking has stopped, do we just continue over and over again putting her into her bed? Letting her cry it out so to speak?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Well, you are going to have to bite the bullet and stop rocking your daughter to sleep. You have unwittingly created this problem by teaching your daughter to experience the rocking as part of her bedtime routine, no different from the bath, stories, etc. When you stop the rocking, your daughter will, of course, object. And every time you defer to her you are reinforcing the behavior. So, the cure is in one sense simple, and in one sense difficult. Tell your daughter that you will no longer be rocking her to sleep. To help her adjust, you can wean her from it by rocking for a few minutes, then put her in her bed. Get ready for the reaction, and steel yourself. Identify the date on which the rocking will stop, wean her over a few days to a week, then stick by the plan.