2.5 year old refusing to sleep suddenly in her room at night

[BabyBoo77]

My DD has always been a good sleeper & has always preferred putting herself to sleep without anyone around, all of a sudden a week ago she is refusing to go to sleep, crying, hysterical & now refusing to stay in her room at all, continuously coming out. It got so bad night 2 that after 4 hours of this it was mid., & i told her that I would lay w/ her but it would have to be in her new room we were preparing for her bc there is a twin bed in there, and I am 7 mo preg.  She was compliant & fell asleep w/ me rubbing her head. Any little noise wakes her up now & she refuses to have the door closed. Getting up or leaving the room wakes her up & the screaming/thrashing/leaving room occurs. I am now sleeping on the floor outside of her room, once she falls asleep is up again bw 2 -6 am, unless we are there, comes out of her room & flips.  Putting her back in bed calmly only escalates the situation. She will nap in there during the day and play in there w/o issue, however she is more tired without a nap and (completely unlike her with less sleep), is more likely to fall asleep quicker.  Last night alone came down 5x/15 min.The gate brings on hysterics & leads to her pulling at her hair (feeling out of control).  We are concerned about safety issues of her going down the steps during the night now.We have a long standing bedtime routine.  I have tried putting her to bed when it's light out since she will nap without issue & that doesn't work.
We are prisoners in our own home, if she won't sleep now with us walking up the steps/closing a door, how is she going to sleep with a baby crying?  We tried to reward the good sleeping/behavior. She has always responded well to this.  When I try to bring it up she shakes her head and says "nope" I have given her all my attention this week as I figured she needed more 1:1 time & more reassurance, & that has not improved the situation.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Why did you decide to change from her sleeping in her crib? The situation you describe is very typical of children who are in regular beds too early. They don't have the impulse control to manage the situation well. You might think of returning her to the crib, where such bedtime upset is more easily managed.

[BabyBoo77]

She has not been in her crib for over a year now.  She's been in a toddler bed since last June, without issue, and we have never had any problems with the toddler bed, until last week.  After 3 nights of issues in the toddler bed and her expressing a desire over teh last 6 months for a "big girl bed" (her words not mine, she felt her toddler bed was for her to play with her babies and wanted a bigger bed like mommy and daddy), we moved her to the twin so I could lay with her, as I am 7 months pregnant.  Of course I have decided that's probably not a good idea and am sleeping on the floor outside her room.  Hindsight is 20/20 but she is a child of routine and I think that the move to the new room (and her choice to move things in there slowly) brought all this on . . . putting her things in the new room and then sleeping in her old room without all of her things. .  .we probably should of kept her where she was and slowly incorporated one new item (like a dresser) at a time gradually, instead of everything all at once. .. .after a week I don't feel like we can put her back in her old room, and she doesn't want her old toddler bed. . . now what?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You are likely right on target about what prompted the instability - such a change is very unsettling to a young child. You certainly can return to the former arrangement, in spite of your daughter's wishes. It might well be the best thing. I don't really subscribe to the notion 'There's no turning back' - if it isn't working, change it. On the other hand, it hasn't been that long, so you could reasonably persist and it is likely she will return to her baseline of handling bedtime well. You'll have to bite the bullet - there's no pain-free solution.

[Ambo1986]

For the past two weeks when I put my 19 month old son in bed he freaks. I haven't changed anything in his room. At first he cryed for a couple minutes and then would puke everywhere. I would clean him up and lay him back down and he would do it again. After 2 or 3 times of vomiting he would go to sleep.  His doctor thinks he is making his self vomit. My doctor said to keep doing what I am doing but the past couple of times he has either been asleep when he does it or almost asleep and pukes while laying down. He usually has milk or water to drink before he goes to bed and when he gets finished I put him in bed. I have not changed the routine, and he has always went to sleep by his self. I don't rock him, pat his back or anything. This came out of no where. He doesn't do it everynight just every 2 or 3 nights. Could it be something serious or am I just freaking out? He is my first and I am only 22. My pediatrition has not given me much help.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Basically I agree with the pediatrician, but stop giving him the liquid just before bedtime. It's not necessary and it may be prompting part of the problem.

[cctine]

My 2.5 year old girl has been in a crib all along.  around 17 months she starting jumping from the crib.  Her being my third, I got the crib tent it worked great with my son, our second child, and he loved it. She always loved her room slept for naps and slept all night long always.  We recently went on vacation and the circumstances were that she had to sleep in my bed.  She has never been the same since.  She tried vomiting, thrashing, kicking, screaming like i have never seen before.  One night she repeated for hours I want to sleep with Mama.  I really can't put her in a bed right now because school is starting and she will without doubt go into my older daughter's room who is in the 4th grade or her brother's room who is going into the first grade.  They need their rest and can't be bothered.  I am sick over her and feel responsible in some way.  What is your opinion of the crib tent.  As guilty as I feel now, it never seemed to be problematic for her prior to this vacation.  She has her dolly and a soft book and would even hang out waiting while I ran and got the other two dressed for school.  Now it seems like a torcher chamber.    Do you suggest I put her into a toddler bed or push through this time?

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

No, I do not think you should put her in a toddler bed. She is not ready. Using the tent is fine. You'll have to be patient and persistent, but it's OK.

[JRREsq]

A related discussion, My 2.5 year old won't sleep past 4 am. was started.