27 month old boy - normal play?

[Todanini]

Hi there,
My 27 month old son is happy, out-going, social and very active who sleeps well, can be a little fussy with food, and has tantrums maybe once a day on average -- so nothing out of the ordinary, I believe. I am at home full time with him and his 8 month old brother so he has never been in any kind of day care.

My concern is that he shows no interest in sitting down and concentrating on the types of activities I keep reading that other toddlers enjoy, and I wonder whether he is already showing signs of some kind of ADHD or attention-related problems. He will not do puzzles, play with blocks, spend much time with shape sorters, or draw or paint, or anything similar. He does like to look at books, and play with cars / planes / trains, but usually not for very long. He tends to cruise continuously and just sample things briefly. He has been seen by an occupational therapist who tried to engage him in activities so she could lengthen his concentration, but he just wanted to run around the room and look at things. She suggested I try to get him to focus on just one toy at a time and sit with him and keep him at a single activity for as long as possible, ideally for at least half an hour a day. I have tried presenting lots of activities to him and this has been tough, especially as I am often forced to get up and leave him to attend to the 8 month old. To keep him at an activity simple persuasion usually doesn't work, only physical restraint which really defeats the purpose.

I just try to get out of the house as often as possible to playgroup and the park, but in order to get myself ready to leave I usually put his favourite show on the TV for an hour or so in the morning, and I also use TV at night so I can bath, feed and put the baby to bed without interruption. I am also worried that this is a time bomb waiting to go off, and that I could be worsening any ADHD tendencies that he might have for the future.

I have bought a few books about toddler activities but am I worrying too much? Does his day really have to be filled with structured activities that require my participation the whole time? How can I teach/encourage him to play by himself some of the time?

I have started to doubt my ability to provide the right stimulation and have considered day care earlier than I would prefer, although he has severe food allergies and eczema making us nervous about sending him to day care.

I'd really appreciate your thoughts.

[greengeeny]

Sorry one more thing...dont be so quick to think adhd...boys are naturally active.  The last thing you want to do is label something when he is just being a normal boy.  Unfortunately in todays society, people are so quick to yell out adhd...teachers, doctors, parents.  Give it time before you start thinking things like that.  He is still a baby himself, and learning what he can and cant do.  Showing him when certain behavior is appropriate, and not appropriate might help if he runs wild when you are out and about.  I know that it is hard when you dont know what the problem is, but dont let other peoples opinions push you into thinking that he has issues just quite yet.  Sounds like he is just an active, happy boy to me.

[greengeeny]

Sorry one more thing...dont be so quick to think adhd...boys are naturally active.  The last thing you want to do is label something when he is just being a normal boy.  Unfortunately in todays society, people are so quick to yell out adhd...teachers, doctors, parents.  Give it time before you start thinking things like that.  He is still a baby himself, and learning what he can and cant do.  Showing him when certain behavior is appropriate, and not appropriate might help if he runs wild when you are out and about.  I know that it is hard when you dont know what the problem is, but dont let other peoples opinions push you into thinking that he has issues just quite yet.  Sounds like he is just an active, happy boy to me.

[greengeeny]

Neither of my boys, who are now 12 and 6 ever sat down for puzzles.  Hated coloring.  Books were ok, if it was bedtime, and used as a stall to stay up later.  What I did to teach my boys to preoccupy themselves was plain and simple...I let them be.  Put them in ear shot, and went about my business doing what needed to be done.  Your children, unfortunately, will not appreciate the effort put into playing with them if it is done every second.  There is nothing special about it for them.  I would set aside time for the two of you at bedtime, or when the baby is sleeping to do something.  Other than that, let him roam, let him preoccupy himself.  He will find out on his own what gains his interest.  Sitting down in a structured environment isnt fun for a two year old.  Its work.  Things that we think would be really unique and fun to do, are, but only for us.  I know it is tough when you see other children the same age acting calmer, and doing nice quiet things, I remember being envious...but in reality, your son will be a lot healthier running around and getting that energy out.  Soon enough he will be in kindergarten and forced to do all that structure...enjoy what time you have now.  One of the most entertaining things when my boys were littler was walking into the room when they werent looking and watching them entertain themselves.  If he isnt used to it, let him get used to it.  It is hard being supermom, running to save the baby and entertaining a 2 yr old at the same time.  Give yourself a break, and you both will feel better in the long run.

[chigirl29]

He is very young for puzzles.  Maybe the puzzles are not age appropriate? A child will not be interested if he or she is confused.  My oldest hated puzzles and she is fine.  My baby loves them and she is 2.5.

My nephew definitely would have never sit still for a puzzle at that age.

My youngest usually will not watch TV, every now and then she will sit still.

You sound like a good parent who is concerned...I would say, "relax"--and just wait it out.

[Pum]

I wouldn't worry. Many boys are just very "busy". It is a sign of a healthy lad. I worried about my son at that age when he wouldn't sit and listen to stories at the library but almost overnight at 2 1/2 or so he suddenly increased his concentration span.

You shouldn't have to entertain him and provide activities for him. Little and often is a good mantra for your interaction. Set him up with a sink of water, or make him play doh,
or help him make a scrap book of favourite car pictures.

My son also has food allergies (dairy and egg) and goes to daycare 2 days per week. they have been very good and in fact, have had less "accidents" than I have in the past two years.

It sounds like you're doing a great job to me.

Good luck.