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Child Behavior  (Expert Forum)
 | 
2yr old obsessed w/my hands
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development

2yr old obsessed w/my hands

by sudpawmom, Jul 10, 2001 12:00AM
My son is 26mos old and has had a relatively healthy childhood thus far (other than tubes in his ears w/a delay in speech resulting in speech therapy in our home).  About 2 mos ago he begain to have a 'love affair' w/my hands.  He must frequently! thruout the day hold my hands to his chest and face and hug and kiss them.  He has limited speech (30 words) but manages to refer to them as "baby".  He'll grab a hand and say "hi baby" and hold it close to his chest.  If he is eating or drinking he will offer my hand the same.  When I say "mommy's fingers" he'll so "baby" back to me.  He is the youngest btw, he has a 4yr old brother.  Usually I have to climb in bed w/him around 5a.m so he doesn't start the day then and he'll  only fall back asleep if he can grab ahold of a hand and lay atop it.  Also, if my foot is nearby it may entice him to a hug and snuggle as well.  I am the only recipient of this behavior.

Is this charming and sweet and will pass or some sort of OCD behavior?

I've offered baby dolls, bears, etc. and called them baby and he tosses them at me and grabs my hand.

What am I dealing w/and should I tolerate it and if not, how do I discourage this?

Thanks!

by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Jul 11, 2001 12:00AM
This could all be quite benign, it 's difficult to know. At this age, most children have a vocabulary of 200-300 words, so your son is definitely at the slow end of the spectrum in this regard. Now, does this mean that his development in other areas is slower than what might be expected? Not necessarily, but it's a distinct possibility and should be assessed. You do not have to adopt an all-or-nothing appproach in regard to satisfying his need to embrace your hands, but definitely do not automatically gratify his wish, and continue to offer alternatives. It may not be the best idea to join him in the morning, because you may be exacerbating his need to have you close to comfort him. You can now gauge the amount of sleep he gets each day, both during his nap and overnight. Try to solve the early morning situation by altering his bedtime at the other end (at this age, children normally will sleep approx. twelve hours overnight).
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