3 1/2 throws food at preschool help!

My son started preschool 2 months ago and all has been fine, except recently, his teachers have told me that he is extremely messy and plays with his food at meal and snacktimes. They have tried to talk to him and take away the food and make his clean it up. I have had parent teacher conferences, taken away priveledges and he still does it at school. He does not do this at home. When I've gone to his school at mealtime, he does not do it. His explanation is that it is fun and the other kids are doing it. I explained that he is making the teachers and myself very dissapointed. I will continue to withold priveledges. I've considered letting his younger brother do the things my 3 1/2 year old would like to and not letting the 3 1/2 year old so he can feel the hurt of not getting what you want when you misbehave. He recently said that he wants me to come with him to lunch. I said when I am there you are good, but, at your afternoon snack you are bad and I am going to come then to make sure that you are good. He replied, I was bad at lunch too, can you come then? Which makes me think he wants my attention. Except, I only found about this recently and until then he never said anything and when I asked him after I found out from his teachers, he lied. Please help!

[LRM1021]

I think you have it right-- he is trying to see what he can get away with, and he has picked this as a testing ground. Stay your ground-- the teachers at school should put him in time out if he is willfully disobedient. You shoudl do the same at home. He'll then learn.