3 1/2 year old Behavior Problem

My daughter will be 4 in November.  She was born one month early.  All is fine with her except her behavior.  She will have a meltdown if I try to brush her hair or touch her ears. The smallest things set her off. I've taken her to the dr's and everything is fine.  I did have her tested in February and had a SEIT and Parent Trainor for a few months.  The therapist said she was fine and age appropreit.  I have tried time-outs and nothing works.  She seems to be getting worse.  She does go to school 5 days a week in the mornings and seems to be fine.  I also have a 9 1/2 year old boy who was not like this.  Let me also say is a lovable child who loves to help.

[margypops]

Why would you give a time out for her getting upset at her hair being brushed ,and for touching her ears, dont touch her ears if she does not want you to, are you gentle when you brush her hair ,tugging can really hurt. Is she okay when she is at school ?do the meltdowns only happen at home, what are the dynamics between her and her older brother and how do they get on,perhaps you could give us more answers.