3 1/2 year old daughter who suddenly hits and pushes

My daughter has always been sensitive and would cry if pushed or hit
She started preschool 3 wks ago and the first 4 classes went well, then we
went to visit my brother in Florida who has a 3yr old agressive son
My daughter was afraid at first, but towards the end of our trip, she was
pushing back etc
Her first day back to school after the vacation, I was pulled aside by her teacher
and told that she was hitting, pushing and being rough
She said I need to talk to her
I was so upset and embarrassed, we had a talk and I told her she couldn't watch
her favorite show until I heard a good report from school  (That was Wed)
She goes back to school on Monday and we have already had a few issues
with playgroups where she pushed or was aggressive
I am SO ANGRY and do not know what to do next.  We have talked, she had
time-out and had toys taken away
HELP!
I do not want her going back to school and me being told she is still hitting.

[cjinspain]

Try talking to the teacher. explain how and when the change in behavior occured and perhaps between the two of you an agreeable form of punishment could be implimented both at home and at preschool. However it is most important that praise and encouagement is given for good behavior. Dont get angry because this will only make the situation worse. All children will copy the actions of others especially it those actions receive attention it is not your fault and if you keep positive she will soon realise that it is better to be nice to others. good luck..    

[Tarnie]

Hi ducki - My 3 1/2 year old son has just (hopefully) grown out of the same behaviour. At 21/2 we joined a playgroup (a group in Australia, where kids of similar ages can get together and play) for the first time. Another little boy of his age hit him and pushed him every week. I would tell my son that the little boy was not being very nice, and his mother would always make him apologise. However, when I put my little boy into creche, he immediately started hitting and pushing. No matter what I tried, he continued to do it. It was awful - the creche was going to suspend him, and I ended up in tears every time I went to pick him up. I was so angry with him, and tried lots of different things to stop it, ie time-outs, taking away toys, naughty mats - you name it. Finally, I talked to a few experts and found out that he thought pushing and hitting was the way to play - because that is how the other boy interacted with him. I spent a lot of time taking my son to parks, and play centres - and teaching him how to play nicely. If he hit or pushed, it was immediate time out. If it happened again, we left. When he played nicely, he was heaped with praise. It has now been almost 4 months of aggression free playing. I hope that helps. Good luck - I know how hard and heartwrenching it can be!

[margypops]

I wanted to reinforce all the previous post has said , good post Tarnie and a positive way to solve a behavioral problem I will pass it on to others.