3 1/2 year old with aggressive behavior

[kidslove]

We have a 3 1/2 year old little boy who is extremely strong willed and defiant!  I am just wondering if his behavior is "normal' for a 3 year old or does he need to be evaluated for aggressive behavior?  He started his aggressivness around 2 years where he would push and hit other little kids in his pre-school class. He still does not play all that well with other kids and almost seems to bully them at times (especially younger kids). When we do playgroups or have other outings I always have to watch him closly to make sure he is not being mean to the other kids.  He just does not play nice!   He is a very bright little boy and can be so sweet and kind at times, but when he is in his moods (which seems to be more often lately), he is very difficult to reason with!  He is also disrepectful to me and my husband and some of his teachers at school and other adults.  We discipline him if he talks back, being defiant or misbehaves by sending him to his room, taking things away from him or even spanking. Usually one of the punishments works, but it just seems to be a vicious cycle!  I can handle him being "mean" to me, but when it comes to other kids and other adults I have a real issue!  What do you reccommend I do???

[babygirl6152]

He is just going to be one of those difficult children- and it will be hard- until he learns you flat out will not put up with his behavior .Next will come every year a teacher that he will try it on and she will go thru the same thing and have to establish "dominance " for lack of a better word. It sounds cruel- but these children just have to be intimidated.
On the other hand make a BIG stinkin' deal out of him being sweet when he is- how helpful he was, how he went to bed without a fuss- sat still at the dinner table- you will have to look for things to brag on- he surely wants your approval- and the teacher's- how nicely it sounded when he said thank you and yes, please. But the best thing for strong willed is usually NOT jumping from punishment to punishment but deciding on one thing they LOVE and using that as a lever, and be consistent so they know it will happen when and if they do XYZ.

If he is bullying them other children, you can't allow that- you have to more or less get in his face and then make him apologize and reconcile with the other person- he should offer a hug or say something kind- and the other parents will appreciate you for this too.


Does he have a big brother he plays rough with?

[suni1985]

my 6 year old is consistantly head butting in class.  Makes great grades.  What can be done?  He is the last of  5 kids and we are at our wits end.  We have spanked, punished..I have taken away halloween for him...I don't like doing this because he is such a sweet loving child. I have family that thinks he should be on medication but I don't want to hinder him that way.
Please give me a suggestion to try.  ANYTHING!!!!

[babygirl6152]

sent you a message with some ideas- good luck- will check back