3 year old g -daughter that is very aggressive, very violent, cannot be potty trained but does pee in potty,

This child has something going on and we(myself and the parents) can't get HELP. This child is very violent towards her siblings and the parents and myself when I visit. She tunes out everyone and plays better alone than with her sisters. She has a normal size pillow that she carries around and she has it marked up with markers. This pillow has to be laying a certain way and pointing a certain direction in order for her to sleep on it. If something does not go exactly right she throws a major fit and I mean MAJOR!. She has had us all in tears. She can't remember things even right after you tell her. For instance...colors. You can tell her something is yellow and she will repeat it .In another second she can have something that is yellow and won't remember what the color was. She walks on tippy toes all the time except for when she has shoes on.Getting her to go to bed is like pulling eye teeth. My daughter doesn't want to spank as this leads to screaming from the child that can last for an hour. We have tried time out and you may as well be trying this with a new puppy. I know there are different forms of autism but we are trying to find someone that will see her and give us some answers but no one will help.

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

It could well be that your granddaughter is displaying a condition along the Pervasive Developmental Disorder spectrum. The ideal way to figure this out would be to arrange a Developmental Evaluation. In such an assessment, the child is evaluated by a multi-discipline team. The team includes a developmnetal pediatrician, developmental or clinical psychologist, a psychiatrist and a clinical social worker, along with speech/language therapist and an occupational therapist. You mention that 'no one will help'. What do you mean by that? What efforts have been made to obtain some help? Where have you encountered obstacles? If you want to indicate where the girl lives, we can try to guide you to a resource.

[jd1419]

This does sound like autism disorder--or a sensory problem--best bet would to make an appointment with a peditrician voice your concerns so that they may give you a recommendation for a full pediatirc evaluation with someone who is qualified to treat autism---or if you are in a town that has a childrens hospital go there and see what the steps are to get an evaluation done immediately.  good luck

[mom@homenow]

Since you say "no one will help" I assume either the doctors are not helping or she doesn't have health insurance to see a specialist? If you're having trouble through the medical profession getting a diagnosis and help, and you're in the United States, contact the public elementary school in her district (where she'd go to kindergarten if she were old enough) and ask for the contact number for the Special Services (often called Child Find) for your area. The school system has specialists who should evaluate her and will provide services (Physical and or Occupational and Speech Therapy), free of charge. The program begins with the children at age 3 (Under age three is a seprate program). It's nationwide. Another place to call is the local health department to get the contact information for the program, often the program is run in conjunction with the health department and public school system. Good luck.

[Grandpa641]

Gee guys I taught my 3yo grandaughter that no was a complete sentence an since then her and I get along fine; meltdowns stop with a look and if necessary I will say knock it off and she does.  Your 3yo is non a baby she is a little person treat her that way, she will respond.