3 year old hitting

My three year old son keeps getting suspended from daycare. He is biting, hitting, kicking, throwing toys, not staying in time-out, and not listening to adults; all at daycare. I work, go to school, have another 10 year old son, and two 10 & 11 year old step sons who visit every two weeks. When I am home, everyday after 6pm, the time is all his. We have pretty much the same routine everyday. Up at 6:30am, off to daycare, daddy picks him up, mommy comes home and cooks dinner, bedtime at 8:30; just to give a brief idea. We play and cuddle all the others times, and do fun things on the weekends. This behavior is just showing up at the daycare. The daycare thinks he should be evaluated for some kind of mental disorder, but I just don't want to believe that. My 10 year old is ADHD and my 3 year old does not act like him at all. I don't know what to do. He is delayed in speech, so it is hard to think I'm getting through when I have a heart to heart with him about what he's doing is wrong.

[margypops]

Possibly he is learning this behavior and as he does not do it at home it comes from the school are any other children biting and hitting is it only him?what does the school say ,it is wrong for them to tell you your son has a mental disorder, perhaps they should be able to stimulate the children more whilst they are at school , as boredom can make them act out.We have a new forum about speech and language disorders go there maybe others have some input for you.How does he get on with his step brothers and his sibling, sometimes if there is rough housing and wrestling a small child will copy it when he is with others.

[jdtm]

Why does the daycare think your child might have a "mental disorder"?  Perhaps he is developmentally delayed - his speech is "delayed" - your words.  Perhaps he is overtired from not enough rest or just too much commotion in the family.  By the way - most children at your son's age require more sleep than your son is receiving.  And, because this child does not act like his brother, that does not mean he also does not have some type of learning disability as ADHD.  

I am wondering if your first line of defense would be a visit to your son's pediatrician.  He/She should be able to shed more light on this situation.  Obviously, your "heart-to-heart" talks are not working.  I wish you the best ....

[Motheroffourboys]

He admires his brother's that do not live with us and he absolutely idolizes his brother he shares a room with, but they don't wrestle or hit or anything like that; they are all gamers. Boredom was a big issue because his friends moved into a higher room then him because they are potty trained and elijah is almost there but not quite yet. The daycare and I were thinking that maybe he is bored with the class he is in now, so they are going to move him when he gets back from suspension. I was also wondering about how much sleep a 3 year old needs. He gets 10 hours at night. Sometimes he takes a nap at daycare. He's supposed to, but doesn't usally. Should I be putting him to bed earlier?

[91004]

He is getting enough sleep 10 hrs is plenty if he was tired he would take a nap my 4 yr old goes to bed at 9 and gets up at 7:45 and when he gets tired will take a nap

[jdtm]

I noticed from a couple of other posts of yours that you have admitted to having BPD.  If this is so, then it is highly possible that your son also has a "mental health issue" as the school has suggested.  Please see your family doctor/pediatrician for proper diagnosis and advice.  By the way, the earlier the diagnosis, the better the prognosis for mental health issue.  As you are aware, if your son does suffer from a mental health issue, he will not outgrow it nor will it go away.

[Maddy_Gurl6]

I have to agree with jdtm, I have a 9 year old son who was diagnoded with ADHD (wrong), then BPD at 8 (wrong again), and now they think its something along the lines of Asperger's Syndrome.  He is my, "little mystery" , as I call him and I am exhausted!  I think you should talk to his doctor and go from there, the earlier the better.  I personally have to say that I changed my sons diet and no meds at all.  It is AMAZING what our children are eating and how it changes behavior.  Not saying that will make things better, but it has helped us some. It never hurts to try.

[Motheroffourboys]

I'm interested in the changing child's diet idea. What do you recommend.