3 year old normal or ?

I have a 3 1/2 year old and she has lately been refusing to eat meals, throwing tantrums, refusing to talk when spoken to, and being mean.  The above are not typical of her behavior and no changes have taken place in the family of recent.  I am finding it hard to deal with her. It happens more often when it is me and her but does happen with her dad too. We are married and her behavior leaves me scratching my head as to what has gone wrong. I am crying and at whits end. Please tell me if this is normal and will pass or if perhaps I should have this investigated further.  An example was tonight she asked for an apple, I cut it up for her and she took it on the plate and threw it across the room and said I didn't want it cut get me another apple.Help!

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

Dear Adrian,

Three-year-olds can certainly be temperamental. It is more than likely that your daughter is displaying typical behavior, rather than anything of a worrisome sort.

Now, this does not mean you shouldn't address the behavior. It's one thing for her to reject the apple as you served it. If that were all, I would simply say it's there for her to eat or not, but I would not deliver another one. However, in light of the fact that she threw it, I would place her in time out for five minutes, telling her simply that throwing things is not allowed.

Dr. KDK

[Jane]

My son will be 4 in January.  Right around age 3 1/2 he/we went through some very difficult times.  He was quite defiant, argumentative and just plain unpleasant!  I'm happy to say that "that stage" has passed!  I've heard some people say the "threes" are worst then the "two's".  I believe them!  He was a great two year old.  As my  Mom always says, "this too shall pass."

[JENISE RUSH]

I HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS FOR THE PARENTS BEFORE I COULD COMMENT.THE QUESTIONS REVOLVE AROUN WHAT TYPE OF PUNISMENTS OUR USED IN THE HOMES .I HAVE DIFFERENT APPROACHES TO CHILDREN WITH AGER PROBLEMS THAT CAN BE HELPFUL BUT NEED ANSWERS TO THE CHILDS ATMOSPHERE AND LIFESTYLE PLEASE FEEL FREE TO WRITE ME AT 9599 BRAYTON DRIVE #461 ANCHORAGE ALASKA 99507 .ALSO YOU CAN SCROLL DOWN THE PAGE TO SEE A BREIF EXPLANATION OR COMMENT I GAVE ANOTHER FAMILY UNDER SUBTITLE SPANING.I HOPE YOU FING SOMEONE WHO ABLE TO ASSIST YOU.