3 year old out of control.....

Hello I have a just about 3 year old daughter who seems to be getting worse everyday. I just had another baby 4 months ago, at the end of the pregnancy her attitude started changing once she sensed that things were about to change. She stopped potty training and was craving attention. When I had the baby at first she was very upset then started rebelling, when the baby was about 2 months old she finally realized she is hear to stay and started getting very helpful and loving toward her. Now it seems as if everything is taking a turn again, she has been talking like a baby, completely refuses to use the potty is afraid of everything and is very disrespectful to me and her father. When she is out in public she acts like a angel so nobody believes me about how bad she is at home. She refuses to take a nap I have to keep putting her back in her bed over and over until a hour has went by and I am exhausted from doing it. She refuses to sit down with the family to eat she throws her food all over the place, as punishment we make her continue to sit with us while we eat make her clean the mess then wait until snack time or the next meal to eat again and it doesnt seem to phase her. When you tell her not to do something she yells "dont tell me" and then screams on the top of her lungs. I have tryed time outs she will not stay in time out, I have tried spankings then she thinks its ok to hit, I have tryed taking toys away she she tells me "throw it in the garbage ". Anyways I am at my breaking point I feel like my daughter has control of our life and I feel like there is nothing else I can do. Please help me out with some advice this is tearing my marriage apart and scaring us away from having more children. Thanks

[imonlysaying]

Ummmmmmm. Perfectly normal. im on baby #3. All my babies are close together to. I thought having babies was AWSOME and all i wanted was more because they were so precious. And then they turned twenty months. TANTRUMS ALL the time. But just so you know they do grow out of it but not untill around age 4. Parenting is not easy and not fun during this stage. At first I thought I was doing something wrong and I thought my husband thought i was doing something wrong too. He looked at me like what did you do to make her this way. The fact is that most little one sare this way and if she wasn't then something was wrong. Learn to not take his or her behavoir personally! I wish they taught this stuff in school. This is the real life stuf that nobody taught us. - Good luck .....oh and you might be scared about having more kids or that your husband wont want any more but after these two have grown out of this age you and your husband will  have a better idea of everything and most likely continue to have more! :) These are the tough times that will eventually down the line make your relationship stronger! So get some tissues and be prepared to cry a little along the way but just know its all worth it and you are deffinatley not alone!!!!!!!!!1

[margypops]

Has she heard one of you say to her 'Shall I throw this in the Garbage?it is an adult way of retort ...reading your post it sounds like a lot of punishment going on ,she is feeling left out and jealous,get her Dad involved, giving her some one to one time, so she feels that she is still special. Let Dad have Baby and you take her to the park, read to her, draw some pictures , play a game, focus on her positive side and praise her when you see her doing something right .Its very hard on the older child when she is usurped,and another little one gets the attention she used to get,hence the baby talk and any wetting',," baby does it and no one minds I will see if I can do that '.Spankings are negative and if she gets it she will do it to others , the answer lies in her feeling as special as baby..Good luck, no one said  good parenting was easy...  

[skepticalpeach]

She'll be ok as long as you give her a lot of one on one time. Assure her that she's still your special little girl even though you have a second child. At 3 she is not going to understand her feelings or why her actions are wrong. I don't really think it's fair to punish her for being scared and confused. Try reinforcing her positive behavior in a good way. Give lots of praise, candy or whatever else she likes when she behaves well. Also, I don't think she is purposively trying to trick others into thinking she is a good girl in public. Maybe she likes going out in public because she's not bored and feels safe. Good luck.

[imonlysaying]

Ummmmmmm. Perfectly normal. im on baby #3. All my babies are close together to. I thought having babies was AWSOME and all i wanted was more because they were so precious. And then they turned twenty months. TANTRUMS ALL the time. But just so you know they do grow out of it but not untill around age 4. Parenting is not easy and not fun during this stage. At first I thought I was doing something wrong and I thought my husband thought i was doing something wrong too. He looked at me like what did you do to make her this way. The fact is that most little one sare this way and if she wasn't then something was wrong. Learn to not take his or her behavoir personally! I wish they taught this stuff in school. This is the real life stuf that nobody taught us. - Good luck .....oh and you might be scared about having more kids or that your husband wont want any more but after these two have grown out of this age you and your husband will  have a better idea of everything and most likely continue to have more! :) These are the tough times that will eventually down the line make your relationship stronger! So get some tissues and be prepared to cry a little along the way but just know its all worth it and you are deffinatley not alone!!!!!!!!!1