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3 year old throws 2 hour fits
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3 year old throws 2 hour fits

I have a 3 year old that is very smart, beautiful , at times sweet and funny, but she throws hour fits. It's driving me and my husand insane and we don't know what to do. It happens mostly at night, last night we tried putting her to bed at 9:30, she was hungry, so I offered her a banana, she wanted chips, I said no, that started the whole thing, she wanted something to drink, I offered water, she wanted choc milk, I said no....she threw a screaming, kicking fit, until around 11:30 midnight last night. This is sooo hard to handle for me and my husband both. We end up being mad at eachother by the time it's done, and I am soo exhausted. We have tried ignoring it, doesn't work, we have tried timeouts, we watch Super Nanny, trying to get ideas and use them, doesn't work. Please help, I feel like I am going to have a nervous breakdown soon! Thank you for any suggestions.
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535822_tn?1389452880
Well heres what Supernanny would advise you, Make sure she has an adequate meal then offer no more food,8- 9pm is a good time at this age if she is napping during the day cut that out or back, so offer no snacks, readsome stories to her, she will aks for food, drink , anything to keep you there , so let her throw the screaming fit once she knows its not getting her anywhwre she will stop, if you are not consistant it will continue .,why do you say it doesnt work ,? Could it be one of you doesnt like the yelling, well that will stop after a few nights ,if you are consistant ...if you give way it will continue There is a good book out there called SOS help[ for Parents by Lynn Clarke ...Good luck
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Avatar_f_tn
If she's 3 years old, she should be in bed at 7:00, 7:30 at the latest!  I would think probably part of her problem is that she is constantly exhausted!  3 year olds should have 12 hours of sleep.   You need to start putting her to bed MUCH earlier..  Start with dinner around 5:30/6:00 followed by a bath, followed by a story, followed by lights out..  If she gets up don't talk to her, simply return her to her bed..  Keep doing it until she stays there.  You might have to do this for a few nights before she gets the message, but she will get the message as long as you are consistent!

9:30 is way too late for her to be eating.  You tell her at dinner time; are you sure you have had enough, because this is it for the day?  Then when she asks for food, just say no.  If she has a tantrum, she has tantrum, just keep being consistent - I know it is hard, but better to address and deal with this now rather than later.  YOU are in charge, not her.

Best of luck!

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973741_tn?1342346373
Well, I am no one to throw stones at others schedules for their young children.  As a stay at home mom, my kids up until this year went to bed late (yep, 9:30 to 10:00).  But they slept in late and took nice naps.  It worked great for us because my husband works and could come home and have time with kids and I could get things done in the morning and during nap time.  Now my  kids go to bed at 8 or 8:30 at 6 and 4.5 because of school and no nap.  They got 12 to 13 hours sleep before and now get about 12.  So I just threw that in because I think every family must come up with a schedule that works for them.

I think that when a 3 year old has a fit over chips it is because they believe if they cry enough they think they will get their way.  So don't give in.  Have one go to thing you will offer for a snack.  We always used fresh fruit and sliced cheese and I had no problem at 9 o clock giving it to my kids.  I don't know----  worked for me.  Now if they start crying right at bedtime about food, one has to wonder if it is about food.  So  just keep walking the child back to his room and say no, It's bedtime.  Fits happen, don't let it bother you and the child will quickly learn that it is not the way to get what you want.good luck
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Avatar_f_tn
Specialmom; I am not 'throwing stones'.  I think it's great if your kids went to bed at 9:30 and slept so late into the morning - lucky you!   I do think that is quite unusual though..  Most babies and toddlers have very early internal alarm clocks and naturally wake up early.  I wonder how late this three year old sleeps?  If she is not sleeping until at least 9am, then she is not getting enough sleep.  

I understand when the father/husband works late that the other parent keeps the child up in order that they can spend time together, but it doesn't always work out to be best for the child.  I have friends who do this too; their 3 year old ends up going to bed at 10:30-11:00 (after they have tried to negotiate with an exhausted child) but she is up at 7:30 when her parents get up; she has many tantrums (though she is an adorable kid !) and I personally believe that much of it is because this child is exhausted and not getting enough sleep.  

Just my humble opinion.   My daughter is now 8 years old and goes to bed between 8 and 9 depending on how tired I think she is.  Getting her into bed at a reasonable hour was a challenge for many years and still is sometime; she ALWAYS wants to stay up; but she does sooo much better and is a much happier child when she has had enough sleep.  I think many kids end up having a lot of behavioral problems due to being exhausted.  Starting the bedtime routine MUCH earlier is one way of avoiding this or at least seeing if this helps the problem which is not about 'throwing stones'  but about providing a reasonable suggestion.

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973741_tn?1342346373
Well, I'm a stay at home mom and am surrounded by them as I'm in the burbs and there are a lot of us out there.  So, it is not that uncommon around here.  If I worked and had to be somewhere first thing in the morning, our schedule wouldn't have been an option.  I'm also blessed with really good sleepers.  They've never given me too much trouble with bed time and were good nappers.  (miss that nap) So if this family is getting their kids up bright an early for daycare . . . yes, an earlier bedtime is appropriate.  

I reacted to your absolute statement that 7 or 7:30 is the right bedtime.  I think that their child is throwing a fit about not getting chips and then would NOT go to bed is their issue.  That is just my opinion.  No one knows the dynamics of their personal situation (as they didn't say).  Some kids do get tired at night (and I put mine to bed if they did) . . . and perhaps this is going on here.  But it sounds like an issue of child control over parents to me.  

The way you stated their bed time routine in your second post made good sense to me.  And that IS a reasonable suggestion.

Now I do give my kids a snack before bed.  Even if we eat at 6 . . . they still have some fruit before bed.  Sometimes a little cheese or peanut butter.  My kids are super active and very thin.  They have to eat their dinner . . . and if they didn't----  I wouldn't be happy about the cries for food at bedtime.  But I guess I grew up with a snack at night so it has never occured to me that it wouldn't be a good idea . . . we are always happy to get some more calories in our bony boys anyway.  They always have a glass of milk too.  

Now I am all about sleep with kids . . . like I said----  my six year old gets minimun 11 hours and up to 13 a night (I shoot for 12) and my almost 5 year old is the same.  And if they appear tired either due to looking tired or acting tired, we move bedtime earlier.  I think the right amount of sleep is so important for kids.  Okay, me too.  Even I get cranky when I don't get enough.  (could you tell by my above and this post that I'm tired--- lol)   Geez, I'm really starting to ramble.  sorry.  
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