3.75 year old tantrums, epilepsy and exhaustion

My exceptionally bright three and a half year old son started having temper tantrums in February when his younger sister was born.  They were quite violent and involved throwing furniture.  A month later he began having seizures and the seizures and the temper tantrums both have the out of control feeling.  He was a very sweet little boy- but now he is very oppositional.  He fights me on everything. He is resisting potty training despite having been physically able for a year.  He hates pre-school and sobs hysterically when I take him there.  He also has begun having almost daily tantrums that can last for an hour. I am unable to interrupt them with time outs, rewards or other systems.  Today he had a melt down at a store when I would not purchase a toy for him. He screamed, kicked, hit, spat, and yelled - refusing to be strapped into his car seat. It culminated with my having to call my husband to come to the parking lot to help strap him into his car seat as he kept getting out and thrashing. I am exhausted and at my wit's end.  I do not know if this is from the old seizure medication, the new seizure medication (he is switching), the underlying electrical brain activity, abnormal behavior or age appropriate behavior for a little boy under a lot of stress.  I need some guidance.  I know it is upsetting him too as he complains about his anger and moods and said the other day that he didn't want to go to school because with his anger he was a threat (his word!!!).  He didn't get that from us and so he is clearly struggling. How do I help him and how do I get some relief?

[sonica1221]

My younger brother who is now 14 years old began having seizures when he was two. At first he would just space out for periods of time but as he got older the seizures changed. He went through a period like your son. Very violent and aggressive behavior etc. My mom went through a number of years of trying different types of medicine before she finallu found one that helped his epilepsy without causing the violent outbursts. All I can say is keep hanging in there. Keep a good relationship with your son's doctor and let him know about your sons temperment with every medicine or dosage change. My mom found it helpful to keep a journal of behavior and what medicine/dosage he was on at the time.
Hope that helps a bit.
Good luck.

[annmom]

I am a NY State Licensed Massage therapist. As a massage therapist I have learned that recieving a massage on a regular basis will improve seizures. It also decreases stress, axiety, feelings of depression and I can go on. I believe the massage session between you and your son lets say a couples minutes at a time for about 15 minutes massageing his back and arms and feet. lot of tension is held in the feet. Many people who have seizures get a massage on a regular basis and massage therapy helps! Good Luck! what do you have to lose in trying?