3rd grader won't do schoolwork

[CentralCoastMom]

My son is in the 3rd grade and he is a very outgoing kid.  He is the youngest of 4, but is not lacking attention.  His father died 2 1/2 years ago and I have been working a lot to cover expenses, but I work mostly nights so that I can have the daytime with them.  

My problem is that he has always had trouble at school focusing and getting his work done.  I had him tested for ADHD and ADD and alergies (allergies), but he doesn't have any of those.  He tests well above average, but he refuses to do his work at school and is constantly bothering his classmates.  I have tried many different rewards and ultimatums.  None seem to have any longterm effects.  Anyone who has had a similar situation with a good outcome, your help would be more than appreciated.  Thanks for reading.

[jdtm]

When children do not complete most of their school work at school, this usually indicates that the child is "unable" to complete it.  The fact that your child "refuses" to do school work at home only solidifies this thought.  This could be because of not understanding the assignment, not hearing/seeing clearly, fear of bullying, fear of reprisal, perfectionism, anxiety issues, reading or other learning difficulty, lack of sleep, etc.  You are on the right track by having him tested for ADHD, ADD, allergies, etc.  - now you just need to find "the answer" or the "reason" why your son is unable to "work" at school and at home.   By the way, Grade 3 is often the first grade "learning difficulties" are discovered as the nature of the curriculum leads more to independent work than in the previous grades.  Please speak again to the teacher and perhaps together (maybe the two of you will need the assistance of other "specialists" in the school system), you will be able to find the answer.  Good luck

[momma-of-3g1b]

first off i am very sorry for your loss, having 4 children to take care of on your own, i can only imagine how difficult this must be for you. do you think your son is possibly hurting from the loss of his father? and now being a little older since the loss is going through a new stage and understanding of his fathers death? maybe not knowing quite how to communicate these feelings?

if thats not the case
I would also talk with the teacher and make sure he is understanding the school work  , usually children tend to act out with school work when they just arent understanding it and need some help but dont know how to communicate it. I hope everything turns around for you. good luck and keep up the fight for your son.