My 3 year old seems to have anger issues, he seems like a very angry child when he is told no or does not get his way. I have no idea how to handle this, he bites himself so hard it leaves marks sometimes for days, he has not yet broken the skin but i fear that is comming. What can I do to control or help this issue. I have tried various things anything i could think of. Nothing is helping. He is also speach delayed. He has a vocab of about 40-50 single words now. Starting to put together 2 word sentences. Any suggestions are appreciated please be respectful in your replys. We are also working with a speach program to help him along
Hi, well this age range is not known for handling anger and frustration very well. And with a speech delay, he is probably frustrated more often than your average child. It makes things more difficult if you can not communicate.
One thing I would try is to work on his understanding of his emotions. I'd go to the library and check out books in the kids section on emotions that will help explain what he is feeling. It helps slow down the process of expressing emotion because it helps him to be aware of what is happening. He may pick up some words to use instead of showing the anger in inappropriate ways. I'd then just role play with him how to handle situations. You can act out something in front of him. Make it really exagerated and have fun with it. He is sure to laugh. And show him the proper way to handle being angry. It is important with a child like this to always remain very very calm. Push your tongue to the roof of your mouth to never yell at him and try to stay controlled at all times.
The biting is a problem of not knowing what to do with that rush of emotion. Give him alternatives. He can take deep breaths, count to 10, hit a pillow, open and close his fists firmly, go to a cool off place (this is a good one as many kids will calm themselves in a quiet, enclosed spot such as a pop up tent or corner of the house with pillows in it). You should also watch for when things are escalating and head it off at the pass. As he is starting to get agitated, you can say "you look like you are getting mad. Let's do something so that we can calm down."
Give him transitional warnings. Give him choices instead of a flat out no (unless it is dangerous). Redirect his attention. All three of these things work with my son that has issues with self soothing and agitation.
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