My 3 year old neighbor boy is very limited in his social skills. He plays with a very small number of children and I have noticed that he is aggressive towards my child. He cannot seem to stop pulling, twisting, pinching my child. My child runs away from him and I have truthfully noticed that she is not instigating the situation. He giggles and acts inappropriately when scolded for this behavior by his mother. Yet, he seems to continue with this behavior as if he just can't help himself. He tends to shy away from ANY new social meetings regardless of the others ages or sex. He also gets very angry when asked to share or participate in a group setting...glaring and grinding his teeth. He speaks well, and does not appear to have an learning disabilities. It seems he is only very different in the social aspect. Could this boy have autism ?
If he speaks well, he probably does not have autism. Or maybe he does fall somewhere withing the spectrum. It does not mean he has to be banned from playing with other children.
He may have social anxiety, or generalized anxiety. And you say "he does not appear to have learning diabilities" - I assume you beleive that all children with learning disabilities have agressive behaviors? Far from thruth.
3 years old is very, very little. Our society expects to much of little children - for them to be able to approach large groups of people and "socialize". I am 28 years old and not able to do that.
To the point - if your child was bothered too much by his behavior - she probably would not want to play with him at all.
You can just find another play date for her if you are bothered by his behavior (your child probably needs to make this choice), however, it is a good thing to learn how to deal with all types of people - she will encounter different kinds of children - trust me - they get a lot more cruel with age. You can also try to gently prompt them to resolve their issues. Whatever suits you better.
And of course, if you, for some reason, want to check whether he has any diagnosis - you can always ask his parents, but I almost guarantee you that you will not get a polite response.
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