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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
4 yr. old has severe anger
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
4 yr. old has severe anger
by trisha, Sep 14, 2000 12:00AM
My 4 year old son has started having severe anger fits that turn violent. When he doesn't want to take his nap,or when he doesn't get his way, he cries and hits my husband and myself and throws anything he can find at us. He doesn't display anger at school, but when he is with us or his grandparents, he can be very mean. He always apologizes following his outburst, but they have become more severe and even after we talk to him about his behavior, he will do it again once he gets mad. We have tried taking toys away and not giving in on his wants, but my husband and I don't know what to do. Please help.
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Sep 15, 2000 12:00AM
, Sep 15, 2000 12:00AM
Dear Trisha,
Your son is at an age when one of the challenges is to learn effective ways to manage the flood of frustration and anger that often accompanies denial of wants/wishes. The fact that his problematic behavior is occurring at home and not outside the home is one sign that it is probably an example of a normal spectrum child behavior problem (vs. a sign of emotional disturbance).
Immediately on the occasion of any aggressive behavior, such as hitting or throwing things, you should place your child in time out (an adult-size chair or the bottom step of a staircase) and, using a portable oven timer to track the time, have him remain in the chair for five minutes (but start the time only when he is seated and quiet). You can talk with him about his behavior until you are blue in the face, as they say, and he will not stop it. He will stop it when he experiences that it is in his vested interest to stop it.
Take a look at SOS: Help for Parents, by Lynn Clark - it is a wonderful: manual re: handling of everyday behavioral concerns.
Your son is at an age when one of the challenges is to learn effective ways to manage the flood of frustration and anger that often accompanies denial of wants/wishes. The fact that his problematic behavior is occurring at home and not outside the home is one sign that it is probably an example of a normal spectrum child behavior problem (vs. a sign of emotional disturbance).
Immediately on the occasion of any aggressive behavior, such as hitting or throwing things, you should place your child in time out (an adult-size chair or the bottom step of a staircase) and, using a portable oven timer to track the time, have him remain in the chair for five minutes (but start the time only when he is seated and quiet). You can talk with him about his behavior until you are blue in the face, as they say, and he will not stop it. He will stop it when he experiences that it is in his vested interest to stop it.
Take a look at SOS: Help for Parents, by Lynn Clark - it is a wonderful: manual re: handling of everyday behavioral concerns.
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