4 YEARS OLD BEHAVIOR

I have an almost 5 years old girl who' s generally behaving very good. But she is very stubborn and can be very bad sometimes, that is she will be hitting me, saying that she does not love me, that I'm crazy, insist on doing what she's not supposed to do continously, cry and yell.
At the kindergarden she does not behave at all like this. Instead if another child hits her she does not hit back. I told her she has to hit back sometimes, cause she does not hit or do anything and they keep doing it to her, and she told me once or twice that she likes others to hit her.
I don't know if I caused that, cause sometimes I get so annoyed from her behavior that I hit her.
I don't want to hit her, but whatever I say to her or try to be nice to her, she does not seem to communicate.
Please tell me what to do.