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4 Year Old Behavior Problems
My son will be 4 in January. He has had an aggresive temperament since he was around 2 years. He was in full-time daycare until I quit work recently in July with the birth of our daughter. Even in daycare we had constant visits with the director about his behavior (biting, hitting, etc. of other kids his age). He has just started preschool this year and has been exhibiting similar behavior. He throws toys, pushes and hits his other classmates. His teachers do a good job of keeping me informed of his behavior on a day to day basis and he has had some good days. They do place in him in time-out in the classroom for bad behavior, talk to him, and he has also been sent to the preschool director's office. Recently though, he is back to his terrible behavior both at home and at school. We set limits at home and use discipline techniques such as time-out and spanking, but he just doesn't seem to care. He laughs when he is spanked and sits in time-out until we tell him to come out (usually 3-4 minutes). He is fine but then starts right back to the bad behavior. I always have to keep a very watchful eye on him because he will run off (yesterday towards the road with a car coming.) I dread birthday parties because they always end with us hauling him out of there for bad behavior.
My husband and I are at our wits ends to try and nip the bad behavior for good. He is a smart boy and has quite an imagination. He plays really well by himself but can't seem to handle playing with other kids. He is nowhere near potty trained. He just doesn't seem to understand why he needs to use the potty. It all makes for a very frustrating environment. Is there something medically wrong with him or is it a disciplinary problem on our part? I need any advice I can get! I feel like such a terrible mother right now and dread taking him to school and subjecting the other children to him, but how else is he going to learn to socialize?
My husband and I are at our wits ends to try and nip the bad behavior for good. He is a smart boy and has quite an imagination. He plays really well by himself but can't seem to handle playing with other kids. He is nowhere near potty trained. He just doesn't seem to understand why he needs to use the potty. It all makes for a very frustrating environment. Is there something medically wrong with him or is it a disciplinary problem on our part? I need any advice I can get! I feel like such a terrible mother right now and dread taking him to school and subjecting the other children to him, but how else is he going to learn to socialize?
MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL
You probably could make some change in your management of his behavior, but you should also seek evaluation by a child psychologist or other mental health professional. Is there a family history of mood disorder on either side of the family? On the behavior management front, I'd offer two suggestions. First, when you place him in time out, do so for approx. five-ten minutes, and track the time with a portable digital cooking timer. Do not strat the time until your son is (a) seated in his time out chair and (b) quiet. Second, refrain from spanking him - it's not helpful - time out is a sensible discipline.
You're not alone in this. My son is 4 as well will be 5 in November, and also been displaying these signs since he was 2. This is going to be long but let me tell you the road we have been down. He started banging his head when he was 2 when he would get mad, and he would bag it VERY hard. Well his pediatrician told us it is nothing to worry about, kids do that. And then he started to bite the wooden end tables when he would get mad, again the ped. said nothing to worry about he would grow out of it. NOW TODAY....He hasn't grown out of it, only has gotten way worse. He hits, bites, scratches, pinches, other kids. We have had him to therapists and they have put him on all different kinds of meds to help the aggression. He has been diagnosed with oppositional defiance disorder, mood disored, sensory integration disorder, they think he may be bi polar but can't diagnose that yet being he is so young, but it runs in the fathers side of the family. He has also been doagnosed with adhd, and seperation anxiety, and maybe a little bit of obsessive compulsive disorder!! Whoaa that's alot!! He recently chased a kid down the street with a knife, so that ended him in the mental ward at childrens hospital, that place was NO GOOD AT ALL!! SO I took him out of there and he started seeing a new therapist well he upped his meds to a dose that should work, well it hasn't!! So I know where you are coming from. It's hard and very hard at that. The only difference is my son is excellent in school, helps the teachers, plays with kids, he does everything, when he gets to my moms she babysits, he is a terror, he dosen't like playing with the kids there, and unless he is getting all the attention then he is out of control! And sometimes when he is getting all the attention he is out of control. And also like yours he will take off running down the road, he walked a half a mile after i dropped him off one day to follow me, and he darted faster than my Dad could catch up with him, hes a busy little man, and like your very very smart. He only likes to play with cars, and keys, and things that turn like tires used to be his favorite, he got in my moms van and started it. We have been through, and tried everything, like you we're at our wits end! But what do you do? We do time out, we spank, we use a reward system, does it work? yeah for the five minutes following, that's it!! SOunds like we're in the same boat here. I just wish I could find one Dr. to diagnose him correctly, and so we could get this under control. I hate medicating a kid at 4 years of age, but we have no choice, he is going to hurt himself or someone else. I'm sorry I haven't given you much of an answer, but I wanted to let you know you aren't alone, and it's very hard. I would say though that you do need to take him to a Dr. that specializes in these behaviors, because they have helped, we just have more to figure out with him and what exactly is wrong. But no it's not "normal" behavior, and you don't want him to hurt someone elses child because that will come back on you, and you don't want him to hurt himself, and if your is anything like mine he is very spontaneous and you just never know whats next! You will be in my prayers, as I know that's all I feel I have left is praying praying praying!! There's a reason for everything I guess. Good luck to you!! And to that little boy, I know they're such a special blessing and as frustrated as we get, each minute of the day we need to remember that! Be blessed, and feel free to write back, i'm on here everyday, and will respond!
God Bless,
Julie
God Bless,
Julie
It is really conforting to know that I am not alone out there with this problem. I also have a 4 year old out of control son. He has had behavioral problems since he was about 2 years old. I have mentioned this to his pediatrician on his yearly checkups who tells me that he will grow out of it. I placed him in a daycare (pre-school) about 1 year and a half ago after having him with a private babysitter thinking that he may need more exposure to other kids so that he can learn to socialize, share his toys, etc. We first placed him in a private Catholic School and were called in the first week with his behavioral problems (tantrums that involved throwing chairs, hitting other kids, not following direction). We decided to wrongfully place blame on the teacher and her skills and took him out of the school. Afterwards (a few weeks later) we placed him in another day care where he has been nothing but trouble either. He started out fine the first two weeks, but once he got confortable he terrorized the class.
We immediately took action towards his behavior by putting him on time outs, taking away his toys, taking away privilages but nothing worked. He would behave well for a few days and then go back to his old ways. Once he got out of whatever punishment we placed him on, he would start acting out again. It seemed like we had to have him on a constant punishment.
The last few weeks he has been completely out of control. Talking back to his teachers, throwing chairs and toys, hitting, biting, sticking out his tongue to the point where after many teacher/principal & parent conferences, they have asked me to remove him from school.
It would be easy for me to find another school like I did before, but there is no school that would tolerate this type of behaviour. I did make an appointment with a child psychologist but the appointment is not until 2 more weeks. I know results are not immediate either. What do I do? I have to work and do not know what to do with him anymore.
We immediately took action towards his behavior by putting him on time outs, taking away his toys, taking away privilages but nothing worked. He would behave well for a few days and then go back to his old ways. Once he got out of whatever punishment we placed him on, he would start acting out again. It seemed like we had to have him on a constant punishment.
The last few weeks he has been completely out of control. Talking back to his teachers, throwing chairs and toys, hitting, biting, sticking out his tongue to the point where after many teacher/principal & parent conferences, they have asked me to remove him from school.
It would be easy for me to find another school like I did before, but there is no school that would tolerate this type of behaviour. I did make an appointment with a child psychologist but the appointment is not until 2 more weeks. I know results are not immediate either. What do I do? I have to work and do not know what to do with him anymore.
I'm at my wit's end with my 4-year-old as well, and just don't know what to do with him. He's my youngest (he has an 8-year-old brother), and very strong-willed to say the least. He's small for his age, and not really aggressive or violent. But all means of discipline have failed miserably so far. I've tried spanking (my husband thinks it works... I feel differently), he doesn't seem to care. Time-outs aren't very effective either. I've tried rewarding him for good behavior and taking priveliges (toys, TV time, etc.) away for poor behavior. He's simply mouthy and defiant; he won't listen to a thing I say at home or away. I explain to him how he to act when we go somewhere ("You will sit nicely in a shopping cart or we will not go get a cookie,") and I give him alternatives when I tell him he can't do something ("No, you may not watch Blue's Clues right now, but you may go play with your puzzles or read a book instead..."). He doesn't get into much trouble at school, it's mostly when he's with me. He argues, whines, and pushes me to my limits... lately he's started wetting his pants during the day, and has discovered how to lie about things. Today my mom and I were out and about with the kids and he was just a nightmare all day long. I looked at my mom sadly and said "I just don't know what I'm doing wrong." She just shook her head in disbelief at his behavior. We have an appointment with his pediatician this week about the wetting accidents, and I'm going to discuss these behavior problems with her as well. I too feel like a failure as a mother, and sometimes I don't know what I did to deserve this. When he's sweet, he's the most lovable creature on earth. Like so many of you have said about your kids, he's really smart. He's generally a happy kid, loves to sing, says his prayers and leans against me while I read him a bedtime story every night. The days are just so long and stressful... I hope we can get some help.
My son too has behavior issues. He's nearly 5. His are mostly at school (hitting, pushing, etc) and very rarely at home, so I know that most of what's happening is primarily related to SOMETHING at school- I just can't figure it out. He's also the biggest kid in his class which doesn't help any.
Stay firm on your rules/expectations of him, then REWARD him for good behavior. My child feels remorse and hates timeout, but in the long run he doesn't learn much from time out.
Our reward system is if he keeps his hands to himself and for 3 out of 5 days he gets to go to the toy store. So far it has worked one time, however, I will also have smaller rewards set up for two days in a row of good behavior. This has been very difficult with his new teacher as she seems to be pretty negative with most of the boys. When I talk to her at the end of the day, it's all negative, but if I ask about other things, then I find out positives as well.
On the days that he can't keep his hands to himself he has no treats, tv, can't play with our neighbor. There have been a few times this past year that I have literally taken every single toy he owns (not books, I refuse to discourage reading), put it in a garbage bag, and placed them in the attic. It's a lot of work and very hard to do, but it gets the message across.
I'm trying to change the behavior and teach him new behaviors at the same time. We talk about what other kids are doing at school and I give him scenarios as to what he should do if _______ happens, and remind him that hitting will only get him in trouble. We talk often about school behavior too.
He's been to the child psych once and goes again next week. I'm hoping my son will tell this guy what is bothering him since he won't tell anyone else. So far he doesn't have any major disorders (opp defiance, etc).
Hopefully some of this will help you. 4 seems to be much harder than 3 was. And 2 was a piece of cake!
Hang in there, be consistent and firm. If you are still concered, talk to your ped, or the guidance counselor at your local elementary school for a child psych recommendation.
Stay firm on your rules/expectations of him, then REWARD him for good behavior. My child feels remorse and hates timeout, but in the long run he doesn't learn much from time out.
Our reward system is if he keeps his hands to himself and for 3 out of 5 days he gets to go to the toy store. So far it has worked one time, however, I will also have smaller rewards set up for two days in a row of good behavior. This has been very difficult with his new teacher as she seems to be pretty negative with most of the boys. When I talk to her at the end of the day, it's all negative, but if I ask about other things, then I find out positives as well.
On the days that he can't keep his hands to himself he has no treats, tv, can't play with our neighbor. There have been a few times this past year that I have literally taken every single toy he owns (not books, I refuse to discourage reading), put it in a garbage bag, and placed them in the attic. It's a lot of work and very hard to do, but it gets the message across.
I'm trying to change the behavior and teach him new behaviors at the same time. We talk about what other kids are doing at school and I give him scenarios as to what he should do if _______ happens, and remind him that hitting will only get him in trouble. We talk often about school behavior too.
He's been to the child psych once and goes again next week. I'm hoping my son will tell this guy what is bothering him since he won't tell anyone else. So far he doesn't have any major disorders (opp defiance, etc).
Hopefully some of this will help you. 4 seems to be much harder than 3 was. And 2 was a piece of cake!
Hang in there, be consistent and firm. If you are still concered, talk to your ped, or the guidance counselor at your local elementary school for a child psych recommendation.
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I would like to tell every one of you struggling with these little ones that my heart goes out to you. I am a preschool teacher and have a little one in my class that has many of the same behaviors mentioned here. I have had him in my preschool class for about six months now. He really is the most delightful, funny, intelligent, loving little boy you could ever imagine. He too has problems dealing with his frustrations. Just this week he completely trashed my classroom, pushed, punched, screamed and even started to punch me in the face. His mom and I talk every day about his behavior. She is a single mom trying to raise two children and hold down a very demanding fulltime job. I dread each day that I have to tell her about his behavior. The look on her face is so heart wrenching. She is absolutely at her wits end. She tries everything she can at home to reinforce what we are doing at school. I have worked with him enough so that if I get to him in time, I can de-escalate his violent behavior. I talk him through his anger and stay by his side until I am sure he has calmed down. If I am not in the room (at lunch, meetings, etc.), he is completely out of control, I have to be called back to the room to remove him, and we go to a quit place where he can calm down. Sometimes it can take up to 20 minutes for him to be at a point where he is ready to go back to the room. We are currently in the process of contacting various agencies in our area to have him evaluated to try to determine the root of the frustration. He tells me that when he goes into the rages that he feels funny and points to his chest. We offer many alternatives, but he tells us that he can't help it. I truly believe this is the case. Something as simple as another child accidentally brushing up against him can cause a full-blown tantrum. I have nine other children in my class and I am the only teacher so it is difficult to always get to him in time. I want to encourage all of you to not give up on your little ones. They are the beautiful little children that you know they are. The problem is that they are trying, the only way they know how, to tell us that something is wrong. We are hopeful at our facility that the agencies will be able to train us and offer solutions so that we can manage his behavior. What is so remarkable is that despite that fact that he does strike out at others, all of the children in the class absolutely love him. When he is not there, they tell me how much they miss him and want to know when he will be coming back. He is a big boy for his age and he too has some speech problems. His mom is taking him for screening next week and we are in hopes of finding some answers for this child. Please do not give up. If your children are in preschools, ask them to help you find agencies that can offer the help that is needed. Believe me, this is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with but I am not willing to give up on this little guy. There has to be a way to help these children. There has to be some answers. There has to be a way that they can function in a classroom setting. Believe me, none of you are bad mothers. If you were, you would not be here on this site looking for answers. You would be putting all of the blame on your child and not taking any responsibility. Please know that there are teachers out there who do care and will do whatever it takes to help your child succeed. Take care and know that I am praying for all of you.
Thanks for the diet info. Unfortunatey, for my son, food alterations would not work. My son has only a few things he will eat, grilled cheese, pizza etc. and eats great if it's those things only, otherwise he's rather not eat at all. I have always been careful about what he has eaten and had many battles with my in-laws over what to offer him. He is a 6 yr. old that does NOT like candy, ice cream, birthday cake etc. - if you an even believe that?! I share your anti-meds belief, as hypocritical as it sounds, but honestly ... I HAD to, if nothing else safety was realy becoming a BIG issues as he got older. I felt there was no other option left, in conjunction with special needs programs at school we had tried it all. He is now happier child, and in turn I am a happier mom. One thing I have learned is no to judge, as I had sometimes tended to do. You don't know what it's like to live another persons life, you do what you gotta do. Happy New Year!
Has no one on this board heard of the Feingold diet???? My son was all of the above and also suffered from chronic ear infections and allergies. I heard about this diet through a magazine called Living Without and had to Google it. Just type in 'Feingold diet' in Google and it'll come up. You've got to read about it. My son has been on this diet for about 1 1/2 years and the change in him is totally unbelievable. We just got rid of all of the artificial colors, flavors and preservatives and he was a changed kid! Do you ever wonder why you have to drag a screaming, kicking kid away from a birthday party (probably after they've eaten a bright blue cake with multicolored sprinkles all over it)? It wasn't the sugar at all for my ds, it was the coloring and flavoring that made him absolutely wacko! Give it a try-I refused to put my son on meds, and I'm glad that I found out about this diet!!!
First I would like to thank everyone who has posted a message on here. I have also felt like I am a bad mother. Thanks to people explaining their problems on here I FINALLY KNOW I AM NOT ALONE. Thank you.
I have a 4 year old son who will not listen, stay still, stay in time out, change his behaviour for rewards or words of praise for doing good things. I don't know what else to do. Please tell me anything and everything that I can try to do to help him. I am going to have him checked for ADHD.
There is more to this situation that you need to know. 30 April 2004 when my son was 2 1/2 I was walking him and his 4 1/2 year old brother with his 13 month old sister to nursery school. We were crossing the street and I was hit from behind by a half ton truck. I suffered a severe closed head truama with a brain injury, and many other injuries. My sons now 4 and 6 remember the truck hitting Mommy and how badly Mommy was hurt. My family doctor didn't even know who I was when the ambulance brought me to the hospital. The first time my 4 year old seen me after the accident he came running to me crying and said " Mommy you look so much better now doctor cleaned you up." The Children's Aid Society in Ontario took our children away from us because I was the main caregiver and suffered a brain injury. Our families helped my husband with our children while I was in the hospital for about 1 month. The insurance company was going to pay for a Nurse to come in and be with me 14/7 to help me fully recover and help with housework and our children so my husband could return to work. Before the insurance found a nurse to help Children's Aid took our children. We asked right away for our children to be put into counselling because of what they saw. It took the Children's Aid Society 16 months before they got our sons to a counsellor.
Timmie is hitting things, needing 1 on 1, wanting to come home to us, break things his older brother builds, talking back, not eating, angry a lot, throwing things, taking things from his brother and sister, and a lot more. We have rewarded him for listening and doing good things with a special toy, money, treat, telling him how good and grown up he was and many other things. He cries and sometimes hides in a closet or cornor. Our sons and daughter are not together. Children's Aid is keeping them apart. Our sons have been moved 12 times in 18 months, 3 of those months they stayed at their grandparents.
I hate seeing them hurting. I want to help them and do anything and everything I can to help them until children's aid lets them finally come home. My husband and I know that as soon as our children get to come home a lot of this will end in time. Please someone tell me what we can do for now. I love my children with all my heart, soul and every breathe I take. I will take any advise give to me. Thank you for reading this. A very worried Mommy
I have a 4 year old son who will not listen, stay still, stay in time out, change his behaviour for rewards or words of praise for doing good things. I don't know what else to do. Please tell me anything and everything that I can try to do to help him. I am going to have him checked for ADHD.
There is more to this situation that you need to know. 30 April 2004 when my son was 2 1/2 I was walking him and his 4 1/2 year old brother with his 13 month old sister to nursery school. We were crossing the street and I was hit from behind by a half ton truck. I suffered a severe closed head truama with a brain injury, and many other injuries. My sons now 4 and 6 remember the truck hitting Mommy and how badly Mommy was hurt. My family doctor didn't even know who I was when the ambulance brought me to the hospital. The first time my 4 year old seen me after the accident he came running to me crying and said " Mommy you look so much better now doctor cleaned you up." The Children's Aid Society in Ontario took our children away from us because I was the main caregiver and suffered a brain injury. Our families helped my husband with our children while I was in the hospital for about 1 month. The insurance company was going to pay for a Nurse to come in and be with me 14/7 to help me fully recover and help with housework and our children so my husband could return to work. Before the insurance found a nurse to help Children's Aid took our children. We asked right away for our children to be put into counselling because of what they saw. It took the Children's Aid Society 16 months before they got our sons to a counsellor.
Timmie is hitting things, needing 1 on 1, wanting to come home to us, break things his older brother builds, talking back, not eating, angry a lot, throwing things, taking things from his brother and sister, and a lot more. We have rewarded him for listening and doing good things with a special toy, money, treat, telling him how good and grown up he was and many other things. He cries and sometimes hides in a closet or cornor. Our sons and daughter are not together. Children's Aid is keeping them apart. Our sons have been moved 12 times in 18 months, 3 of those months they stayed at their grandparents.
I hate seeing them hurting. I want to help them and do anything and everything I can to help them until children's aid lets them finally come home. My husband and I know that as soon as our children get to come home a lot of this will end in time. Please someone tell me what we can do for now. I love my children with all my heart, soul and every breathe I take. I will take any advise give to me. Thank you for reading this. A very worried Mommy
I did not see your comment when I sent my last posting and pardon me ... but you may be a teacher but your comments are very ignorant.
I am sure your a great mom/teacher, but please understand that unless you have experienced 24/7 with a child like "ours" you cannot even try to pass judgement. My son is severely ADHD. I did/do not want him on meds and agree that they are being handed out like candy, but I have also come to accept that he HAS to be on them. As far as your stating that these are most often discipline issues keep in mind that I am a mom that stands behind my words and doesn't put up with anything from my kids ---or my daycare kids for that matter. Yes, I am also a home daycare provider. I discipline with a consistent, calm, yet stern manner and they listen ... and guess what? they still have a ball with and love me to death! I too use rewards, charts etc. but when you have a child that need meds etc., no chart in the world will stop his/her head from spinning.
I am sure you probably did not mean things to sound as judgemental as they came across in your posting and am sure that you just wanted to "help"... just remember next time try to chose your words a bit more carefully.
I am sure your a great mom/teacher, but please understand that unless you have experienced 24/7 with a child like "ours" you cannot even try to pass judgement. My son is severely ADHD. I did/do not want him on meds and agree that they are being handed out like candy, but I have also come to accept that he HAS to be on them. As far as your stating that these are most often discipline issues keep in mind that I am a mom that stands behind my words and doesn't put up with anything from my kids ---or my daycare kids for that matter. Yes, I am also a home daycare provider. I discipline with a consistent, calm, yet stern manner and they listen ... and guess what? they still have a ball with and love me to death! I too use rewards, charts etc. but when you have a child that need meds etc., no chart in the world will stop his/her head from spinning.
I am sure you probably did not mean things to sound as judgemental as they came across in your posting and am sure that you just wanted to "help"... just remember next time try to chose your words a bit more carefully.
This is not to alarm you but my son has a hard time sitting still too and other similar/nonsimilar concerns. Not the aggression or anger though. He is currently diagnosed ADHD ( I know the stigma) and on meds against my initial wants. He has to on them for many issues including safety due to impulsivity, and I have learend that. But a friend of mine has a son that sounds exactly like yours and he has been diagnosed as ADHD as well as Bi-Polar. I am no doctor and this is not to scare you or anything, but what have you go to lose? It might be worth maybe checking out?? Best of luck.
i have a 4 year old ,my concern is his anger and his talking too much,also i have a hard time dealing with him hitting,biting me when he doesent get what he wants also dosent like to wear seat belt, id say my son is about 5 hands full he gets me really tierd at times. i have also got his first writeup in preschool for hitting and cant stop moveing at times when all other children are sitting in the floor listening to the teacher's story hes the only one standing up running around iam so stressed out pls some one help!!!!!!!
I have a son who just tured 4 in Nov.
He is very bad lol, he doesnt listen he has a smart mouth, and he does what he wants whenever he wants, and pitchs a fit because i wont allow it.
i dont know what to do, he is very smart on other terms he knows all his colors and shapes and what everything is around the house he isnt in school yet because he is still not potty trained i have tryed everything he will not poopoo in the potty, i have tryed sitting him on there, telling him he can get candy or a toy after he goes to the potty like a big boy.
am i do something wrong here?
he will pee in the potty every now and then but i dont understand why he wont do the other?
any help would be great.
he was behind with everything else he learned to do also.
like crawing, walking, talking, and now potty training.
i feel like this is all my fault, what should i do?
He is very bad lol, he doesnt listen he has a smart mouth, and he does what he wants whenever he wants, and pitchs a fit because i wont allow it.
i dont know what to do, he is very smart on other terms he knows all his colors and shapes and what everything is around the house he isnt in school yet because he is still not potty trained i have tryed everything he will not poopoo in the potty, i have tryed sitting him on there, telling him he can get candy or a toy after he goes to the potty like a big boy.
am i do something wrong here?
he will pee in the potty every now and then but i dont understand why he wont do the other?
any help would be great.
he was behind with everything else he learned to do also.
like crawing, walking, talking, and now potty training.
i feel like this is all my fault, what should i do?
I have my nephew of 4yrs. on the herbal supplement called "FOCUS". I have noticed a big difference in him. He still has some bad moments, but over all, it is a big help. Between the FOCUS and his diet (no extra sugar that isn't in his normal food or juice, and no caffeine) we have been able to calm him and work on his aggression.
I have been hearing about a herbal supplement that is usually given to children exhibiting ADHD behaviors but, maybe not diagnosed yet. Can anyone recommend one. Or anything that I can give my son to calm his aggression down and tantrums?
Wow! I was at my wits end. I have taken in my 4 and 3 yr. old nephews (no children of our own,)a month ago, and I was almost bald within the first week. The 4yr. old has the same issues: aggression, hitting himself, throwing major fits, banging his head. All of which were obviously new to me. I took him for a psych. eval. to get him back on his medication for ADHD, they told me he was too young to have an eval. and be put on medication for his ADHD and that my husband and I would have to deal with it. Mind you, these two have been seperated for over a year, so of course, the 4yr. olds aggression towards his 3yr old brother was terrible. I was at my wits end and ready to send them back into foster care. They were not sleeping maybe 4 hours a night, so that factored in as well. When their medical records finally arrived, I saw a steady pattern of aggression and sleep disorder with both of them through out their childhoods. But like I said, when the doctors and therapist refused to put the 4yr old back on his meds. I was furious. The only thing he told me to do, give them benedryl at night so they at least sleep. Give me a break!! I looked online for an herbal sleep aid as I wasn't keen on the whole over the counter med. everynight. And I tell you, I found not only the sleep aid (which they no longer need) but also herbal ADHD! The improvement in him is wonderful! So wonderful in fact that when I took the 4yr. old in for his physical, the doctor was amazed at his calmness and obedience! Now, however the therapist is going to recommend him be put on the ADHD medication, and thus far I have fought it! I told him that nobody wanted to do it when I needed it, and now he wants to put him on it when I have him settled with this herbal remedy and diet. I am not saying he is now an angel, as a matter of fact we had an issue tonight, but at least now he is calm, and his aggression has become so much easier to control. He is actually able to focus and express himself without having a total melt down in the process.
My son is 4 also. I've had similar experience with our last pediatrician who repeadedly told us his behavior was normal. When we finally got worried he would perminatley hurt his little sister we took him to a phycologist. At the time he had a severe speech delay and he refered us for speech therapy. The speech getting better helped with the behaviors and he started in the special ed preschool which also helped. This year we decided to send him to the normal preschool (headstart) so he'd be around normal speeking kids...it's been a nitemare. we are right back to the same behaviors from 2 years ago along with a couple new ones..they've discontinued his speech at school..what a joy. I can relate to the frustration from all of you as we too deal with this on a daily basis and we are simply tired of it all. The new pediatrician is sending him to a child phyciatrist for evaluation of all develpmental problems I personally suspect a slight autistic disorder but thats just me...
For your son i'd suggest you ask your pediatrician for a referral to a child phycologist or psychiatrist for an evaluation of developmental delay.
The main reason I wrote is that I have an idea for your son's potty problem..Ours too was far from potty trained untill a month ago when he was sick and we took him to the pediatrician..the doctor said to him "william don't you think your a little old for these old things" (his pullups) he said "yes" and she said "I think you should start using the potty, what you you think"..he said "yes" she said "okay we have to pinky swear on this"...he had no idea what that ment but she showed it to him and tangled his pinky with his and shook it and walla next day I took him to the store and let him pick out his own underware this time and from the moment he put them on...potty trained.. it was the most bizzare blessing i've ever experienced. the doctor said it's worked with a lot of kids that something about her not being the mom seemed to work..so maybe you could ask your doc.. or his grandma or someone to intervene like this and who knows...good luck and god bless.
Tami
For your son i'd suggest you ask your pediatrician for a referral to a child phycologist or psychiatrist for an evaluation of developmental delay.
The main reason I wrote is that I have an idea for your son's potty problem..Ours too was far from potty trained untill a month ago when he was sick and we took him to the pediatrician..the doctor said to him "william don't you think your a little old for these old things" (his pullups) he said "yes" and she said "I think you should start using the potty, what you you think"..he said "yes" she said "okay we have to pinky swear on this"...he had no idea what that ment but she showed it to him and tangled his pinky with his and shook it and walla next day I took him to the store and let him pick out his own underware this time and from the moment he put them on...potty trained.. it was the most bizzare blessing i've ever experienced. the doctor said it's worked with a lot of kids that something about her not being the mom seemed to work..so maybe you could ask your doc.. or his grandma or someone to intervene like this and who knows...good luck and god bless.
Tami
I have been having problems with my three year old in pre-school. He was a little angle (13 weeks of model behavior) at first and now he has been very agressive with the other children. The teacher calls it a "happy agressive." She means that he does not realize that he is being too rough and in the other children's space. he really enjoys being with the other kids. He accidently scratched a kids face today b/c he was jumping up and down flapping his arms in front of the other kid. It is like he has just discovered other kids but does not know how to interact with them correctly. He does have sensory integration issues and did have a speach delay. His behavior at home is great. He just seems to get over-stimulated at school during free play and is unable to calm himself down when the teacher's want him to cool the hyperactivity. He also seems to touch the other kids alot. He also seems to be bright...knows the upper and lowercase alphabet, the entire map of united States, can name all the states in different regions, knows the sounds each letter makes and is starting to read. I really dread the pick-up from school now b/c I am afraid of what odd behavior he displayed in class. also of note is that he is the youngest boy in the class by several months and there are some kids that are already four. I want to pull him out of pre-school but his teacher feels this will be "a dis-service to him." He just turned three in July. Also he does not want to be potty trained. He will put his bm's on the potty but seems to pee in is pants more often than not. Any advice would be greatly appreaciated. I am totally at a loss of what to do especially b/c he is my oldest child. Also note we do not believe in behavioral medication for young children.
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