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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
4 Year old's mother in need of answers
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
4 Year old's mother in need of answers
by Mother-In-Need, May 04, 2003 12:00AM
I am a mother of a very bright 4 year old boy. My son has problems controlling his behavior and has frequent outbursts of violence toward anyone or anything in his path. He bites, kicks, screams, hits, throws things and the list goes on. It's not only when he don't get his way, it can be because you looked at him the wrong way. I took him to his pediatrician and she said to take his tv time and everything else away because he is just a defiant child. I then took him to a child psycologist and he said that he is just a "spirited child". I have been reading alot on spirited children as well as ADHD/ADD, and I seriously think that my son has ADHD. I can not get anyone to listen to what I am going through with him, and when I take him to see a doctor, he acts like an angel. I can't get him to sit down and eat a meal, he is at the table and then gone, and back and forth. he runs everywhere (refuses to walk)and has gotten hurt several times because of this (knocked out 2 front teeth, fell down stairs,had stitches in his head 2 times, several trips to the ER), he will fidget while playing, he won't sit still in the carseat. I don't know what to do anymore and I can't get anyone to understand me. PLEASE HELP!!!
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., May 05, 2003 12:00AM
, May 05, 2003 12:00AM
We in the mental health professions are very conservative, or at least cautious, about diagnosing ADHD in very young children, because so many of the requisite symptoms of ADHD are, depending on the degree, normal behaviors of a pre-schooler. Now, while it may be that your son is overly active, the sorts of aggression you describe are not typocal of children with ADHD. The guidance you received from the pediatrician was wise in general, though I think you could improve on the behavior management plan she suggested. Generally such behavior in a pre-schooler responds very well to a systematic plan for managing the behavior. I can't go into detail here about such a plan, but here's a suggestion. Read Lynn Clark's book titled SOS: Help for Parents. It delineates precisely the sort of plan you should implement to address your son's behavior.
