Aa
4 year old behaviour problems
Hi - I hope you can offer a piece of advice
My son is 4.5 year old, was diagnosed with ASD in April 2008 (one 2-hour evaluation), now he is in special ed 50%/50% environment; he was qualified to get help because of Developmental Delays...During the testing he got many of difficult questons right while missing very easy ones.....Thing is - he has good vocabulary, and knows letters, numbers, can sight read, and draws better than many children of his age.....Only it is really hard to get him to sit down and do work, he is not motivated to "show off" his skills for adult's approval. He also lacks social skills like sharing and taking turns, but always very eager to play and loves when people come over and visit him. He does engage in imaginative play, although sometimes it becomes repetitive.....he have lots of gestures and facial expressions, can be very dramatic and almost theatrical.....He likes to "play" with words and uses lines from cartoons at times...He has exceptional memory.....His special ed teached does not see ASD in him. They still use everything they would use with ASD child to help him with transitions and social skills, but she is inclined to attribute most of his problems to anxiety. My DH had family history of mood disorders and addiction as well as anxiety. My son's troubles worsened once we moved and he had to change a pre-school twice (the first one, although very highly rated, went through management change and was closed for safety accidents)
He throws tantrums and gets fixated on some things he wants (baloon, pudding, toy, etc)
Once we moved he started to yell and hit us when he heard "no" and started to have sleep problems. Now he hits and yells in order to get out of activities, both at school and home. Just after we moved he started to have sensory difficulties with sand, water, etc....It has diminished but he still hates when he spills something (liquid) - does not apply to paint or food.....He is increasingly afraid of dogs now, and have some irrational fears as well (he is so terrified of a dinasaur cut-out figure they have in movie theater now to advertise "Ice age" that he will not go to the movies anymore)...Sounds seem to bother him a lot more than at 3-2 years of age.....
We did have some marital problems with us moving, my husband not handling mover very well, and him still not being able to find a job to suit his education (PhD in humanities, very narrow specialization). He has to teach part time and work menial job to supplement our income. We are trying to work things out and do not argue in front of our son anymore.......
Please let me know if my son sounds like ASD, or whether it is emotional issue? He was diagnosed as mild PDD-NOS, which is catch-all diagnosis....I just do not want to target autism if it is not there......We worked some with ABA consultant (parent education only) - some things - descreet trial etc. do work while some things (making him sit at the dinner table for an hour) seemed to harsh and not age - appropriate.........I really do not think he would benefit from rigorous ABA therapy one-on-one, especially since we are not sure about his diagnosis......
And lastly, one of my sisters - in - law is clinical psychologist, and another one is child development - she has PhD - and both were surprised to hear about ASD diagnosis......
I do not know what to think anymore
Thank you in advance
for your help
My son is 4.5 year old, was diagnosed with ASD in April 2008 (one 2-hour evaluation), now he is in special ed 50%/50% environment; he was qualified to get help because of Developmental Delays...During the testing he got many of difficult questons right while missing very easy ones.....Thing is - he has good vocabulary, and knows letters, numbers, can sight read, and draws better than many children of his age.....Only it is really hard to get him to sit down and do work, he is not motivated to "show off" his skills for adult's approval. He also lacks social skills like sharing and taking turns, but always very eager to play and loves when people come over and visit him. He does engage in imaginative play, although sometimes it becomes repetitive.....he have lots of gestures and facial expressions, can be very dramatic and almost theatrical.....He likes to "play" with words and uses lines from cartoons at times...He has exceptional memory.....His special ed teached does not see ASD in him. They still use everything they would use with ASD child to help him with transitions and social skills, but she is inclined to attribute most of his problems to anxiety. My DH had family history of mood disorders and addiction as well as anxiety. My son's troubles worsened once we moved and he had to change a pre-school twice (the first one, although very highly rated, went through management change and was closed for safety accidents)
He throws tantrums and gets fixated on some things he wants (baloon, pudding, toy, etc)
Once we moved he started to yell and hit us when he heard "no" and started to have sleep problems. Now he hits and yells in order to get out of activities, both at school and home. Just after we moved he started to have sensory difficulties with sand, water, etc....It has diminished but he still hates when he spills something (liquid) - does not apply to paint or food.....He is increasingly afraid of dogs now, and have some irrational fears as well (he is so terrified of a dinasaur cut-out figure they have in movie theater now to advertise "Ice age" that he will not go to the movies anymore)...Sounds seem to bother him a lot more than at 3-2 years of age.....
We did have some marital problems with us moving, my husband not handling mover very well, and him still not being able to find a job to suit his education (PhD in humanities, very narrow specialization). He has to teach part time and work menial job to supplement our income. We are trying to work things out and do not argue in front of our son anymore.......
Please let me know if my son sounds like ASD, or whether it is emotional issue? He was diagnosed as mild PDD-NOS, which is catch-all diagnosis....I just do not want to target autism if it is not there......We worked some with ABA consultant (parent education only) - some things - descreet trial etc. do work while some things (making him sit at the dinner table for an hour) seemed to harsh and not age - appropriate.........I really do not think he would benefit from rigorous ABA therapy one-on-one, especially since we are not sure about his diagnosis......
And lastly, one of my sisters - in - law is clinical psychologist, and another one is child development - she has PhD - and both were surprised to hear about ASD diagnosis......
I do not know what to think anymore
Thank you in advance
for your help
Special Ed teachers including me-:-(
"sometimes" have a little bit of information about a lot of things but not a lot of information about what you may want to chat about- so they just chat forgetting that the information they give out has a big impact on your decisions-
stick with the health care professionals----
on the other hand she is probably noticing there is lots of anxiety issues- the Asperger's girl I worked with is much happier when she is on Zoloft- for her sake, her family-
everyone.
I am sure you have already read up on Asperger's- this move would have been devastating since all his familiar/ consistent schedules were changed-
you are so wise to ignore the negative and move on without reacting---
hugs to you all
good luck
"sometimes" have a little bit of information about a lot of things but not a lot of information about what you may want to chat about- so they just chat forgetting that the information they give out has a big impact on your decisions-
stick with the health care professionals----
on the other hand she is probably noticing there is lots of anxiety issues- the Asperger's girl I worked with is much happier when she is on Zoloft- for her sake, her family-
everyone.
I am sure you have already read up on Asperger's- this move would have been devastating since all his familiar/ consistent schedules were changed-
you are so wise to ignore the negative and move on without reacting---
hugs to you all
good luck
Thank you for input - you defenitely have plenty of experience with ASD/ADHD.
Why I am inclined to think of of emotional disorder being a factor - we have a family history of severe depression and also possible indiagnosed ADHD on dad's side. Many of lil' one's behavious are modeled after dad (avoidance behaviors, stubborness) - it does not matter what I ask dad's first answer is getting out of it - and he becomes very aggravated. He cannot remember things and lacks ambition entirely.
We saw a lot of behavioral troubles popping up once we've moved (and dad was handling the move worse than the little one)
We also lack consistency at times as dad has a very low tolerance for son's misbehaviours.....
But long story short - we do use behavior management techniques - and they are very similar for ASD, ADHD, behavioral issues, etc.....
Teachers in his pre-school very soon realized (with my help) that ignoring inappropriate behaviors and not letting him to get out of things is crucial. He acts out "on purpose" - today he was marching around the house, slamming the doors, requesting to take his favorite toy to school. Did not want to eat. I ignored his "acting out" and prompted him to complete the task (getting dressed). He immediately starts calling for daddy when he does not get his way. Very interesting:)
Why I am inclined to think of of emotional disorder being a factor - we have a family history of severe depression and also possible indiagnosed ADHD on dad's side. Many of lil' one's behavious are modeled after dad (avoidance behaviors, stubborness) - it does not matter what I ask dad's first answer is getting out of it - and he becomes very aggravated. He cannot remember things and lacks ambition entirely.
We saw a lot of behavioral troubles popping up once we've moved (and dad was handling the move worse than the little one)
We also lack consistency at times as dad has a very low tolerance for son's misbehaviours.....
But long story short - we do use behavior management techniques - and they are very similar for ASD, ADHD, behavioral issues, etc.....
Teachers in his pre-school very soon realized (with my help) that ignoring inappropriate behaviors and not letting him to get out of things is crucial. He acts out "on purpose" - today he was marching around the house, slamming the doors, requesting to take his favorite toy to school. Did not want to eat. I ignored his "acting out" and prompted him to complete the task (getting dressed). He immediately starts calling for daddy when he does not get his way. Very interesting:)
Hi Natta,
Please listen to previous post (jdtm). It is unfortunate that your sister-in-laws are unfamiliar with how broad the autism spectrum is and how diverse the characteristics/symptoms can be, in both frequency and intensity, from one child to the next with the exact same diagnosis.
The teacher is partly right, anxiety is playing a role, but not for the reason she thinks.
Please research Asperger Syndrome (not just one site), also you would really learn a lot from this guide:
Life Journey Through Autism: An Educator's Guide to Asperger Syndrome
at www.bcc-asa.org/OAR_Guide_Asperger.pdf
I hope that you will read every page and see what you think. I have a feeling you will feel very liberated and will want to share it with your family, and especially your child's school. A child on the spectrum doesn't always look the same, just like ADHD doesn't.
Please know that I am speaking from experience: you have just described my son when he was 4. Everyone thought he was either spoiled, or that he had some type of emotional. I knew that is was not either one. First he was diagnosed with ADHD in kindergarten. He also wouldn't "perform," but was finally tested and identified as being gifted. Medicine helped with the impulsitivity, but still didn't address the inflexibility. I had to really push for the 2 hour evaluation you spoke of. If it had not been for the right diagnosis, my son would have probably ended of being hospitalized for severe depression because the meltdowns started to take their toll on him.
He is now almost 9 yrs. old and in the 4th grade. He has an IEP: resource for writing (he hates to write) and social skills, speech for pragmatics, and attends the gifted program. He has done so well with the right medicine and behavioral interventions, as he has gotten older sometimes these have had to be adjusted and fine tuned. We also have, and continue to do so, worked very hard with him everyday.
When he hits puberty, we'll go through another really big change and some hard times as we try to meet his emotional/social/behavioral needs.
Despite his past meltdowns, his school loves him and they do everything they can to support him. They have had to learn about Asperger Syndrome (very skeptical at first) and get on board with a behavioral intervention plan that works for HIM, not them. No one can be harder on our child that we are. We do not let him get away with things at home and expect the school to treat him the same way. They have been an important part of his success.
Just as I am typing this he just came up and gave me a big hug (he is like a cat, when he wants affection it is ok, otherwise he doesn't want to be touched:o), this hug, after we just battled over him eating something he has never had before, and insisted he never would eat. Well, he ate it. There was no negotiating and it helps to have leverage (computer :o)
My Background:
Mom of four children ages 4, 8, 11, and 13: Three are gifted, all have ADHD, and varying degrees of ASD characteristics.
I also have ADHD, my sister has ADD, my brother has Asperger Syndrome (gifted), and my nieces have ADHD.
Good luck to you in helping your son. Please do the research, follow your instincts, and don't let ANYONE stop you from doing what you believe is best for your son. I still feel sick when think of how I should have intervened sooner when I saw how my son's behavior was being addressed and exasperated by his pre-school and kindergarten teachers (not intentionally of course). I didn't want to rock the boat where we lived at the time and insisted that he act "normal." I could cry when I think about, because I know better, it is what I specialize in.
Sincerely,
highmaintenancekids,
Special Education: Mild to Moderate Disabilities, P-12
General Education: K-5
BS: Social-Psychology
MS: Special Education
Please listen to previous post (jdtm). It is unfortunate that your sister-in-laws are unfamiliar with how broad the autism spectrum is and how diverse the characteristics/symptoms can be, in both frequency and intensity, from one child to the next with the exact same diagnosis.
The teacher is partly right, anxiety is playing a role, but not for the reason she thinks.
Please research Asperger Syndrome (not just one site), also you would really learn a lot from this guide:
Life Journey Through Autism: An Educator's Guide to Asperger Syndrome
at www.bcc-asa.org/OAR_Guide_Asperger.pdf
I hope that you will read every page and see what you think. I have a feeling you will feel very liberated and will want to share it with your family, and especially your child's school. A child on the spectrum doesn't always look the same, just like ADHD doesn't.
Please know that I am speaking from experience: you have just described my son when he was 4. Everyone thought he was either spoiled, or that he had some type of emotional. I knew that is was not either one. First he was diagnosed with ADHD in kindergarten. He also wouldn't "perform," but was finally tested and identified as being gifted. Medicine helped with the impulsitivity, but still didn't address the inflexibility. I had to really push for the 2 hour evaluation you spoke of. If it had not been for the right diagnosis, my son would have probably ended of being hospitalized for severe depression because the meltdowns started to take their toll on him.
He is now almost 9 yrs. old and in the 4th grade. He has an IEP: resource for writing (he hates to write) and social skills, speech for pragmatics, and attends the gifted program. He has done so well with the right medicine and behavioral interventions, as he has gotten older sometimes these have had to be adjusted and fine tuned. We also have, and continue to do so, worked very hard with him everyday.
When he hits puberty, we'll go through another really big change and some hard times as we try to meet his emotional/social/behavioral needs.
Despite his past meltdowns, his school loves him and they do everything they can to support him. They have had to learn about Asperger Syndrome (very skeptical at first) and get on board with a behavioral intervention plan that works for HIM, not them. No one can be harder on our child that we are. We do not let him get away with things at home and expect the school to treat him the same way. They have been an important part of his success.
Just as I am typing this he just came up and gave me a big hug (he is like a cat, when he wants affection it is ok, otherwise he doesn't want to be touched:o), this hug, after we just battled over him eating something he has never had before, and insisted he never would eat. Well, he ate it. There was no negotiating and it helps to have leverage (computer :o)
My Background:
Mom of four children ages 4, 8, 11, and 13: Three are gifted, all have ADHD, and varying degrees of ASD characteristics.
I also have ADHD, my sister has ADD, my brother has Asperger Syndrome (gifted), and my nieces have ADHD.
Good luck to you in helping your son. Please do the research, follow your instincts, and don't let ANYONE stop you from doing what you believe is best for your son. I still feel sick when think of how I should have intervened sooner when I saw how my son's behavior was being addressed and exasperated by his pre-school and kindergarten teachers (not intentionally of course). I didn't want to rock the boat where we lived at the time and insisted that he act "normal." I could cry when I think about, because I know better, it is what I specialize in.
Sincerely,
highmaintenancekids,
Special Education: Mild to Moderate Disabilities, P-12
General Education: K-5
BS: Social-Psychology
MS: Special Education
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