4 year old aggression

[florencia2812]

Hello,
My 4 year old boy just started school (kinder 4) in March.
He assisted a nursery since he was 2 1/2 years old and we never received any feedback from teachers about any aggressive behavior towards other kids. We never received any behavior note from the teachers in that period.
I'm 28 weeks pregnant now, it will be our second child, and I have received already 3 notes from the teacher about my son throwing sand to other kids faces, pushing, and even hitting classmates with sand toys (a shovel).
We are very alarmed as we never saw that behavior on him. He doesnt want to stay in school when I take him, if my husband takes him he doesnt make a fuss and stays without crying.
Could this be a reaction to my pregnancy? How should I handle it? Should I discipline him again after reading the note from the teacher with him? I usually read the note out with him and I ask him to explain me what happen, the last time he told me he throw sand to his classmates because he didnt want them to come into the playhouse at the playground, and then when one girl did come in, he hit her in the face with a plastic shovel. I read the note with him and then took a toy away and explain that everytime he hit other kids or throws sand I will take a toy away. Is this a good idea?
His dad came back from work and I explained what happened, and he told my son that he was upset for what he had done and that he didnt want to speak with him. My son was very upset because his father ignore him due to the bad behavior.. is this a good strategy?
We wil appreciate your help. We know that things probably get worse when the baby sister comes in June.
Thanks


This discussion is related to 4 year old Pre-school aggression.

[benjimom]

My son is almost six and in kindergarten and what they tell me he's a different child too, so i understand.  It could be stressful for him.  Is there a reason he does not go outside w/the other kids, I would just ask the teachers and ask why. He needs a recess to get his energy out, it might help witht eh agression issues.   Keep an eye on it and if you need more info, request a conference.   I might give it a little more time, but trust your instincts!

[florencia2812]

Hi Benjimom,
Thank you for your advice. Yes, I'm in South America.
My husband took him today to school, and he stayed without too much fuss... but my husband hide to watch him for a couple a minutes and he realised that he doesnt play outside with the other kids, he stays in the classroom with the teacher. I know is only 10 minutes he watch but my gut instinct is that something is not right.... because this aggressive behavior is something completely new, when I read the teacher's note it's like reading about another boy not my son.
I will go again early today to watch him before he comes out to see if he interacts with other kids.
I'm thinking about taking him out of school for this year, take him back to his old nursery and he can start school again next year for Pre-Primary... but I;m not sure... am I rushing?

[benjimom]

It could be a reaction to the new baby, but it could be a reaction to school and he's young still.  I take it you are outside of America.   Maybe he does not like other children in "his space".  Sounds like it.  I wish had a good solution.  yes, take the toys away, but not for a long period and the dad should tell him he is disappointed and he's had a punishment and then move on to a "fresh start".  Ignoring might make things worse in the long run.