4 year old daughter dries at drop of a hat (literally)

[Melinda7781]

I have a 4 1/2 year old daughter (oldest of 3). Within the past year all she does is cry at the drop of a hat (sometimes literally). Physically she is as healthy as a horse. She is reading and writing on a 2nd grade level, knows 300+ signs in sign language, speaks spanish and french (you get my drift- I homeschool her until she's starts kindergarden).
She has been diagnosed with a bit of "super-child syndrome".

But it seems to come about at the oddest times. Just the other day I asked her "What letter does mommy begin with" and she looked at me and just broke down crying and the crying continued for almost 2hrs.
I left the room and every time I went back to check in her playing with her sisters, she'd look at me and suddenly start crying again out of nowhere. But the oddest thing was that she gave herself a timeout. Something I've never had to do with her.
My husband will come home from work and ask her how was her day and she bursts into tears again this is the next day).

She does this with my mom, my husband, her sisters, etc. It really is never ending.

And it seems that no matter what I do to cheer her up (positive re-enforcement, maybe let her watch her fav princess movie, or read her her fav book), nothing works and there are some days when she will cry from when she wakes up at 8am to when she goes to bed at 7:30pm. Almost literally 12hrs of non-stop crying.

We've let her know there are acceptable times in life to cry (IE when she's sick or hurt or truly sad). But she just cries even more and more and it's become to the point where it's excessive crying.

If someone can help me please because I'm at the end of my rope on this one. I've taken her to a child psychologist, her pediatrician, etc. I just don't know what to do anymore.

[ticked]

I think that she is trying to hard to be a perfectionist.  

My daughter is the same way.  For three years now we have really tried to work on her emotions and crying.  As soon as she starts to cry I look at her and say " stop and think about why you are crying" I tell her she needs to communicate with words not with tears or little hissy fits.  Over the three year span she has gotten better but every teacher brings it up at the parent teacher interview.  

I find that I am not as emotional to her emotions as I should be. I get very annoyed when she cries.

When my daughter was 1yrs old she would bang her head on the floor with frustration. That stopped after about 6 months.  The only day my daughter did not cry was the day of her birth!!!!  ever since then tears everyday almost.  I feel like that bad parent because nothing I can do can stop her from behaving this way and I always feel like I have failed as a parent.

When i was a child I think that I was just like her. She wants real time with me not just sitting in the same room. She wants me to get on my hands and knees and play with her, she wants me to sit with her while she is in the bath, she wants me to sleep with her until she falls asleep.  I have failed her with these things and I think this is why my daughter is the way she is. I always feel that I am to blame for her behavior because I have always had a hard time communicating what I feel myself.  I have taught her the same and this is probably why she is frustrated.  

Was your daughter always emotional?  

[Melinda7781]

I have tried 3 different child psychologist ( I know I went over board on that). They all said the same thing.

She's always frustrated about something. It's the perfectionist in her (something we have NEVER enforced or have instilled in her -it may be genetic to be a perfectionist because her engineer daddy is). We've even tried to remind her that she doesn't have to be perfect.

As for one on one time, she gets that all the time. Each of my girls gets their one on one time at a certain time of day every day whether it's reading, coloring or simply singing songs.
Recently I kept up with a tradition (my mom used to do this with my sister and I) of letting her (once a month) stay up late passed her bedtime to come cuddle on the couch with me and my husband and watch a Disney Princess movie or take her out to a movie with just her and I. I do the same thing with my middle child too.

I'm just wondering if she's trying to be too much of a perfectionist or she's just a true typical emotional little girl.

Thank you ladies for the advice! I really appreciate it! :)

[margypops]

She is the eldest could she be feeling left out, how about somke extra one to one attention just for her, make her feel special,make less of the fact she is crying it may go away if you make no issue about it .Good Luck

[AnnieBrooke]

I'd try another child therapist.

[ticked]

What did the psychologist say?

It may be that she is frustrated. Did this come out of the blue or has she always cried often?