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4 year old girl sexual experiment
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4 year old girl sexual experiment

My mother caught my daughter trying to suck on her dog's penis. My mother is a 'worst case scenario' type, and it was a very small dog. We have small dogs at the house and we kiss thier bellies a lot, I'm not convinced that that wasn't what she was doing. However, she's also been playing with the dog's penis recently. I'm concerned about her because she has just found out that I am pregnant again, and because she has recently been very disrespectful toward adults, and authority. She yells at us, is throwing tantrums (she never used to), whining, using hand signals instead of talking, and making baby sounds. I don't understand the regression, if these issues are all related, signs of abuse, or if they're all just normal 4 year old behaviour. Please help.
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350867_tn?1208245609
I remember my daughter at age 4 trying to suck on the chrome ball hitch in the back of our SUV.LOL... Right in front of my mom , who (of course) freaked out... But really, she was too young to "know" that the act of wht she was doing had any 'sexual connotation'.  Unless we're dealing with a child that's been sexually abused, how would she know that sucking on 'whatever' object is "sexual"?  if she was sucking on a lolipop or a popsicle, that would have been alright.  what about an icicle, is that "sexual" too? LOL.. they're just too young.  I made no big deal about it and let her know that we don't suck on stuff that's not food.  she said "ok" and is now 7 and never did any kind of "sexual sucking" after that.  she did keep her hand down her drawers for a period of time.. but, LOL, that's a whole 'nother story...
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Avatar_n_tn
OK so maybe you are right about her wanting to kiss the pup on the belly, but maybe you are wrong. I don't say this to scare you, but it's real. The fact that she was trying to suck on the dog in that area makes me wonder if she has sen it somewhere (perhaps tv by mistake). I say that because I was molested by my grandfather beginning at the age of four and it didn't stop until I was 15. I lost my virginity to him at the age of six. I remember experimenting with my dog around the age of 5. Once I discovered the reaction of touching the dog, I was enlightened. I'm not saying that you should freak out. What I am saying is that at four years, she should be able to talk to you. Sit her down and ask her in a very calm way why she was touching the dog. Let her tell you what she was trying to do. From there tell her that that area is private to the dog and just like her body, no one should touch there. Ask her if anyone has ever touched her (but if you approach her too seriously, she will think she is in trouble and probably won't talk). But coming from my life, I don't take anything like this lightly. To me, it is better to be safe than sorry. It's probably nothing, but let her tell you that. Watch her behavior, she will give signs if anything is wrong. Good luck and I hope I helped.
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365104_tn?1238608301
IS THERE A POSSILBLITY THAT UR DAUG. SEEN YOU DOING SEXUALY THINGS W/ A PARTNER OR EVEN MAYBE ON TV, MAY B U SHOULD WATCH WHAT SHES WATCHING ON TV OR LIKE WHAT PEOPLE ARE DOING AROUND HER . I THINK SHE MIGHT HAVE SEEN U OR SOME ONE ELSE DOING THAT, SO SHE FEELS ITS OK TO DO THAT. MAYBE U AND WHOEVER NEEDS TO WATCH WHAT THEY DO AROUND HER. BECAUSE IF SHES 4 IMAGINE WHAT SHE'LL BE DOING @ 14
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147172_tn?1226761778
Attitude adjustment at 4?  Are you serious?  Give me a break.  4 year olds are 4 year olds and they, like ALL children, will test the waters.  I don't know if this dog situation has any connection to real life sexual activity but you would be better off talking to her as Sepy suggested than going at her like she did something purposely wrong.
And, Latrice... maybe she did see something on TV but would that send her over to the dog?  SHe would have to be exposed to it over and over for her to think it would be ok to do it to a dog.  Was she watching something that had to do with dogs and a sexual nature?
There are a million possibilities here.  Your attacking this person for asking a question by assuming they the parent did or watched something inappropriate is just malicious.  Kids experiment with everything.  
I'm not saying that there might not be an issue here but assuming that the parents are not paying attention is ridiculous.
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365104_tn?1238608301
OBVIOUSLY THEY R NOT PAYING ATTENTION BECAUSE WHERE WOULD A 4 YR OLD GET THE IDEA OF SUCKING A DOGS PENIS, THATS REDICULOUS LIKE I SAID WHAT KIDS SEE THEY WILL DO AND WHAT THEY HERE THEY WILL SAY IT DOESNT MATTER HOW OLD THEY R. I DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT WOULD HAVE A CHILD TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT.SAD GIRLYBUFF... U JUST NEVER NO
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Avatar_n_tn
Hi there. I just wanted to say, I don't think any of the posters were rude, mean, spitfeful, or inappropriate in their suggestions. I am not sure where you're getting that they "attacked" anyone from? Latrice certainly never attacked anyone, all she did was Suggest that perhaps the little girl had seen something that she was trying to mimick, like maybe her parents having oral sex, which is perfectly natural for parents to do, but maybe something she accidentally saw, and is therefore mimicking. Her post didn't seem rude to me at all. I think you're just being a tad touchy and defensive. And as for teko,,, it's true what she said, and it's not rude at all. The original poster's question was about her daughters Behavior... that is the whole reason people get on here, to get Different opinions and Suggestions as to what might be going on. So I really don't see the problem. She/he didn't attack anyone either.  If the little girl is acting out, which her mom clearly stated she is, then it's true what teko said, about teaching her now, while she is still young enough to handle, and what is so wrong with giving a 4 year old an attitude adjustment? Perhaps that is what is wrong with a Great deal of today's kids, their parents have somehow come under the mistaken impression that it's  cruel, heartless and mean, and not PC to discipline their children. This girl is 4 Years Old, not 4 months old. She is Plenty Plenty old enough, to have an attitude adjustment, to talk rationally with her mom, to understand the basic differences between right and wrong on her level. I think perhaps you grossly underestimate the intelligence and capabilities of a normal 4 year old. They are Very capable of understanding, and unless this little girl is mentally behind, then it stands to reason that she ought to be able to talk with her Mom about what she is feeling and thinking, and why she did this to the dog. There is nothing wrong with somone suggesting that she try to talk to her daughter about this, to try and figure out what is going on, and also nothing wrong with the suggestion that she needs structure, and discipline, unless of course you think the behavior that the mom describes , the tantrums, yelling at adults, acting like a baby on purpose is appropriate? It may very well be "normal" for her age, to regress because of a new baby, or any other stress, but that doesn't mean it should be Allowed or Tolerated.  There is a Huge difference.  That is like saying 2 year olds hit because "they can"  , of course they do! But that doesn't mean the SHOULD! ;-)  I hope this helps. And keep posting your honest opinions people, as that is what the forum and website is all about.
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Avatar_n_tn
I hope your last post wasn't directed towards me! lol as I just defended both you and all the other posters , after girlybuff's rude comments  critizising your post and others. I am assuming you were talking to Girlybuff.  take care.
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Avatar_n_tn
I appreciate you too! Someone with the common sense to say what they feel, and to tell it like it really is, instead of sugar coating everything. Don't worry, everyone has a temper, including me!  Don't pay attention to all these generation Y brats who whine about how cruel it is to punish/discipline a child or to give an adult your honest opinion on a subject. Have a Merry Christmas and New Year.
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365104_tn?1238608301
THANK YOU!!!!!!! SOME ONE WHO IS ON MY LEVEL.
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Avatar_n_tn
If she has seen you kiss the dog's belly--that is probably what she was trying to mimic.  Also, my daughters blush whenever they see our dog's penis.  Maybe she noticed it when she was kissing the dog's belly.  I mean--it is rather neat--one minute it is out--the next it is in.

You know, kids do weird things sometimes.  My daughter had a love for chopped dates.  One day, our pet bunny kicked out a bunch of pellets.  What did she do?  She ran over and shoved them in her mouth--thinking they were chopped dates.  They look alike.

It was so awful!  We gave the bunny to a friend. I just couldn't look at it anymore.  Now-it is a family joke.

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147172_tn?1226761778
Ok ladies, relax.  I never said not to disciplinem, nor did  I say not to talk to the child.  I just didn't feel it was particularly nice to assume it was something the parent did.  I also don't see where I said not to adress the issue when it happens either.

I hope this gets resolved for both the parent and the child's sake.  
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Avatar_n_tn
Sorry about not getting back on here. To clear some things up.. The television in my house isn't on every day, sometimes its not on for a week strait. My daughter and I watch the little mermaid and other disney movies together. She's never walked in on any sexual acts (with her father, or her daddy). She spends time with my mother (a very religious woman who is still married to my father) and her other grandmother (who doesn't have a husband or a partner). She also spends a little bit of time with two of my friends who watch her for a couple hours once or twice a month. Of course, since she is sometimes babysat, and sometimes with a grandparent, I can't say for certain that she's NEVER seen ANYTHING sexual, especially in this day and age. I really doubt she has though, we have a great family and supportive, well balanced friends. The thing about her attitude is that she yells at adults and won't do anything anyone tells her to do without a huge fight. Because of this I've tried to control the tone of my voice more, because I discovered that I was yelling and snapping at everyone a lot, perhaps because of the new hormones from the pregnancy.

I'm curious to know if anyone else deals with the yelling and disrespect of a four year old, and how it can be most properly dealt with, because I'm not willing to continue raising a tyrant, which is kindof what she has become.
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Avatar_n_tn
My thought on this whole thing is, that it very well could be a harmless belly kiss, now was she just in the vicinity of the dogs penis or was her mouth on it?  What also would really set a lightbulb off in my head is that.... its seems very odd to me if this anger, and aggression towards adults and refusing to do what she is told by adults ( which is also kinda typical for alot of the terrible four's) which is whats hard about knowing if there is something u need to know about your daughter, I think the timing of all these things is what would scare me a little!  nothin to get overly crazy about-  I think it just deserves a few questions and to be very aware!  I think we both agree its not worth the risk to let it slide. Abuse can go unnoticed, even to the most aware parents!
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Avatar_n_tn
I understand you posted a long time ago.  I did some recent reading my daughter has been sexually abused and I am trying to learn everything I can about it.  But, I read in a study recently that sexually abused children DO act out sexually on animals.  Just wonder how your daughter has been. Has she acted out anymore?
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Avatar_f_tn
my daughter did the same at the age of 7. She went to play outside and it got quiet. So i went to check an found her mouthing away at the dogs pakage. I later asked her what was she doing. She said she saw me and my partner do it. I skipped a beat when she told me she wanted to make love aswel but never knew how. She told me she had sat open legs on the dog trusting. That it was nice. I had a huge non attacking talk with her. I told her she could rather touch herself an in private and her bed or else. It worked.
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Avatar_m_tn
okay so every body is hitting on very good posibilities except one. Kids do what they see, hear and sometimes are told to do. So on that note the question that i have for you and the answer is, dogs clean them self by, yes licking there belley, paws and yes there penis. So the one thing that stands out is of course a dogs **** when it comes out of the sleve. It looks differant and when the dog licks it like they do and them the child see's it, the child will think it's okay as well and do the same. She probably started licking it some time ago and like most kids put every thing in there mouth including the dogs penis not knowing that she was doing anything wrong.
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