4 year old girl with sexual behavior

[stilllearning]

A 4 year old girl who is one of my 3 year old sons friends seems to display some sexual behavior.  Many times I have caught them trying to kiss and doing it like they knew it was wrong.  He does not do this with any other friends only her.  Also, she spent the night the other day and I was listening to them talk on the monitor...she said, "Let's pretend that I am sick and you have to lay on top of me."  SO immediately I went into the room and very casually told my son that I wanted him to sleep with us.  When I came into the room the girl seemed really nervous.  Does this seem like normal behavor?  It makes me nervous for them to play together. I do not have this issue with any other children male or female that he plays with.  I constantly watch her when they play.

[margypops]

again you are searching all the old posts out to drag them back up

[specialmom]

This is a REALLY old post.  

Typically kids may naturally stumble upon maturbation but actual sexual play with a partner is either from seeing something or having something done to them quite often.  I would investigate further if your young child is found to be engaging in this activity.

[Ihat8bobb]

Sounds completely normal for kids.  Often enough, parents assume the kid learned it somewhere like TV, video etc.  This behavior is normal for kids to play and parents should not become "horrified" or "end of the world" stance about it.

[Superwifeandmom]

I'm sorry. I'm typing on my phone and obviously didn't do if very well. Please excuse my typing errors:)

[Superwifeandmom]

I just recently caught my 4 year old daughter doing the same thing. I immediately brought her to the living room to talk privately and I'm not sure I handling it the right way. I was a bit panicked and made a bigger deal out of it then I should have. If I were you, I'd assume the same may have happened with your son's friend. I'd talk to her parents about it and ask them to talk to her. It's going to be uncomfortable if you make a big deal out of it, but, it wouldn't be fair to the little girl if you just stopped letting her be friends with her. I wouldn't allow any more sleep overs and would make sure every visit is supervised. Hope this helps.

[SL345]

It is nervous making to see this, but it goes on more often than most adults fully appreciate. If you think this girl is a good playmate other than the described behaviors and you want to continue the playdates, you need to discuss this with her family, provide close supervision (as you have been) - no closed doors, playing in open sight, set up rules about no touching/kissing, and be prepared to express your discomfort when they do something that crosses a boundary (even if it's not a physical boundary). Understand that this behavior may recur, so don't be surprised if it happens -- instead be prepared. Although he's young, he's not too young to tell him about private parts and to explain that no one should touch him and he shouldn't touch anyone else. Teach him to say, "No, my Mom and Dad told me that this is against the rules" when someone approaches him about this. It may be an opportunity to teach him about something important even though you understandably may decide it's not worth all of this.

[granmammy]

I'd say she was watching too much late night TV, except a 3 year old shouldn't know to be nervous when you walk in.  I'd severe the relationship.  Skip the drama of reporting, your son's too young to even deal with the ambient stress involved.