4 year old is is out of control

Hello I have a 3 year old who will be 4 in about a month.  He is a very intelligent boy and knows most things that a typical first grader doesnt.  He reads books and loves to play.  He is also very hyper, almost to the point that my very own friends dont invite us out anymore to play.  He hits the other kids (trying to play), he mocks me, he throws fits like no other.  alot of people tell me oh its normal.  well I have a few friends who have children his age and he is the only one who acts this way.  He wont listen when i ask him something and well time out that was a joke.  When I spank him he laughs at me and crys for everything... Hes crying right now because i wont move.  I have put him on the a diet lacking reds and yellows.  This is actually working for me but the displineary end of it is.  He wont listen to anyone.  When i try to get him he runs he almost ran in front of a car the other day.  Luckly the lady saw him.  I have tried taking things away from him but this doesnt work.  I just dont know what to do anymore.  I just want to cry along with him now.  Oh i forgot to mention we have even put him in sprots however he gets put in time out there to.  please help me

[Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D.]

You would be wise to arrange an evaluation with either a developmental and behavioral pediatrician or with a pediatric mental health clinician. In the meantime, for behavior management you won't make a mistake by adhering to the guidelines in the book SOS Help for Parents. It is a straightforward, practical guide to behavior management (see www.sosprograms.com).