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Child Behavior (Expert Forum)
4 year old is more difficult after w/e visit with dad
Answered by
Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D. - Child and Adolescent Psychotherapy, Family Therapy, Crisis Intervention
Harvard Vanguard Medical Associates
This forum is for questions and support regarding child behavior issues such: Child Discipline (behavior management), Normal Child Development, Parent-Child Communications, Social Development
4 year old is more difficult after w/e visit with dad
by london dad, Feb 19, 2002 12:00AM
My ex and I split before our daughter was born to go live with her new partner who my daughter sees as a dad. We've explained to her why she has 2 dads and she seems to understand the situation.
My daughter stays with me for the week-end twice a month and we have a good time together. But she has been putting up some resistance to spending week-ends lately. This resistance has been greater since we missed a w/e over xmas. And my ex says that she acts up more for a few days after visits and has some bad dreams saying that she 'wants to come home' even though she is home.
What amount of seperation anxiety is normal in a 4 1/2 year old?
My ex wants to decrease w/e visits but I want to avoid cutting the number of visits futher (we used to see each other for the day every w/e) especially as a routine can help build our relationship. And I want my daughter to be happy to visit me and not be difficult afterwards.
My daughter stays with me for the week-end twice a month and we have a good time together. But she has been putting up some resistance to spending week-ends lately. This resistance has been greater since we missed a w/e over xmas. And my ex says that she acts up more for a few days after visits and has some bad dreams saying that she 'wants to come home' even though she is home.
What amount of seperation anxiety is normal in a 4 1/2 year old?
My ex wants to decrease w/e visits but I want to avoid cutting the number of visits futher (we used to see each other for the day every w/e) especially as a routine can help build our relationship. And I want my daughter to be happy to visit me and not be difficult afterwards.
Doctor's Answer
by Kevin Kennedy, Ph.D., Feb 19, 2002 12:00AM
, Feb 19, 2002 12:00AM
It is not unusual for young children to display some problems immediately after such contact. Making the transition between homes can be difficult, even when things themselves are going OK. I certainly wouldn't interpret her reaction as any obvious indication that the plan for contact should change. Actually, unless you think there's anything troubling about the contact, it would probably make more sense to maintain the status quo. Be sure to speak with your daughter about any concerns she might have, and respond accordingly.
